Sex

4 Books In 1

Book 1

Book 1

Book 1

Book 1

Tantric Sex

Kama Sutra

Dirty Talk

Sex Positions

By
CHARLOTTE A. ROSE

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Dirty Talk

Sex Positions

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© Copyright 2016 by Charlotte A. Rose All rights reserved.

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Table of Contents

Book 1: Tantric Sex

Introduction

Chapter 1: Description And Benefits Of Tantric Sex

Chapter 2: How Tantric Sex Differs From Other Kinds Of Sex

Chapter 3: The Female Body

Chapter 4: The Male Body

Chapter 5: Tantric Fellatio And  Cunnilingus

Chapter 6: Pleasing With The Lingam  And The Yoni

Conclusion

Book 2: Kama Sutra

Introduction

Chapter 1: What Is The Kama Sutra?

Chapter 2: Common Questions About The Kama Sutra

Chapter 3: Before The Good Stuff:  The Basics

Chapter 4: Getting Into The Mood

Chapter 5: Matters Of Size And  Of Passion

Chapter 6: The Good Stuff

Chapter 7: Once The Climax Subsides

Chapter 8: The Practice Of Safe Coitus

Conclusion

Book 3: Dirty Talk

Introduction

Chapter 1: The Psychology Behind The Language Of Lust

Chapter 2: Building Your Carnal  Confidence

Chapter 3: Filthy Flirting

Chapter 4: Getting Your Lover In The  Mood For Lust

Chapter 5: Filthy Words For Foreplay

Chapter 6: Dirty Talk While Doing  The Deed

Chapter 7: Giving Mind-Blowing Orgasms Through Dirty Talk

Chapter 8: Amorous Talk And  Afterplay

Chapter 9: Stroking Your Lover’s Ego

Chapter 10: The Guide To Steamy  Sexting

Final Thoughts

Book 4: Sex Positions

Introduction

Chapter 1: Easy Sex Positions

Chapter 2: Intermediate Sex Positions

Chapter 3: Advanced Sex Positions

Chapter 4: Talk Dirty To Me

Chapter 5: Erotic Massage

Chapter 6: Using Props During Sex

Conclusion

About The Author

Tantric Sex

Tantric Massage Techniques to Enter the Erotic World of Tantric Sex

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Introduction

Thank you for purchasing the book, “Tantric Sex: Tantric Massage Techniques to Enter the Erotic World of Tantric Sex”.

In the age of materialism and instant gratification, sexual satisfaction is often taken for granted. With free pornographic material oftentimes just a few clicks away in the privacy of one's own home, now more than ever people have become accustomed to fast consumption of erotic material and quick orgasms at the expense of gaining a deeper, more intense and longer-lasting sense of pleasure. It remains important to consider that in intimate interpersonal relationships, there exists a benefit to slowing down, establishing a genuine connection, and exploring a wider range of methods for achieving mutual satisfaction. One such method of achieving these goals is that of Tantric sex.

By the end of this book you should be familiar with the description and benefits of Tantric sex, be able to identify and be comfortable with different methods of stimulating both male and female erogenous zones and sex organs, know how you can continually work to improve your love-making skills in order to bring your partner increased pleasure, and enjoy more sensual, seductive, satisfying sex.

Thanks again for purchasing this book, I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 1

Description And Benefits Of Tantric Sex

Tantra, translated from Sanskrit to mean "tools for expansion", originated in India over 1,500 years ago and is essentially a set of practices and instructions designed to connect us with our inner energy and emotions, thereby allowing us to become more aware of the energy around us. Tantra encourages us to explore sexual energy to meet these ends.

The goal of Tantric sex is not necessarily to achieve orgasm, but rather to enrich the entire sexual encounter by allowing us to experience more variety and depth in our sexuality.

Frequently, Western approaches to improving our sex lives encourage us to evaluate and alter external components of ourselves and our lives. For example, we are constantly told through advertisements (frequently through sexual imagery) that we will be happier and more attractive, and, therefore, will have more fulfilling lives if we would just lose weight, gain muscle, drive a nicer car or buy a better perfume or cologne. Tantric sex, in contrast, ignores all of those external, materialistic characteristics and encourages us to become better lovers and better partners, thus achieving more fulfilling sexual experiences through reciprocity of intention and desire to please.

The benefits to practicing Tantra can be phenomenal. Some men are able to reach unlimited multiple orgasms in one encounter, as opposed to single ejaculations that signal the end of an interaction. In fact, ejaculation as an end goal of sex can possibly become obsolete because so much pleasure is experienced during the act of making love in and of itself. In this way, sex can last for several hours and the heightened emotional, physical and spiritual connection between lovers is amplified.

Some have reported being able to come to orgasm by simply looking at and thinking about the object of their affection -- touching is optional. Still others have become so skilled in the art of Tantra that they have led completely fulfilled sex lives going months at a time without ejaculating, even while having sex every single day!

The more a person -- be they male or female -- engages in sex but refrains from ejaculating, the more energy they retain as opposed to experiencing the loss of energy that regularly occurs (especially for men) when ejaculate is released. After Tantric sex, people report experiencing more energy and vitality and couples describe overall increased satisfaction with the duration, intensity and quality of their sex lives.

Chapter 2

How Tantric Sex Differs From Other Kinds Of Sex

A typical fantasy sex scene is conjured up in the mind. The setting is perfect; soft lighting, light aromas. A man may be muscle-bound, physically strong, tall and handsome, incredibly romantic, and a woman may be aesthetically beautiful, slim with perky breasts, smooth skin, soft hair, wet and waiting. The sex itself is spontaneous and powerful. He bursts through the door and she is waiting for him in nothing but one of his work shirts. He gingerly picks her up by the waist and she wraps her legs around him as he carries her to the bedroom to make love to her for hours, but they are so impassioned that they don't make it -- and wind up ripping into each other on the staircase on the way up. They both achieve mutual simultaneous orgasm and collapse in a sweaty heap.

A typical run-of-the-mill sex scenario between a long-term married couple may be that one partner is stressed from a long day at work and wants to get some sexual release before heading to bed, while the other would rather just read their book in peace, go to sleep unbothered and worry about sex some other time when they are in the mood. In order to avoid conflict and disappointment, one partner gives in to the others desires and the same old sex takes place in the same old bed underneath the same old covers in the same old boring positions; eyes closed and lights off... boring!

When sex becomes too boring and too routine, rather than being aroused and looking forward to pleasing and being pleased, people "give up". They wonder how much longer they have to engage in foreplay before it is okay to get to the orgasm. Sometimes people also take issues from outside the bedroom into it, maybe thinking "I'm still mad at him/her from earlier, why on Earth would I give sexual pleasure right now"? Sometimes other insecurities and issues can come into play as well. Maybe there is a problem with premature ejaculation so the other partner rarely reaches their peak, and the focus is just on "getting the job done" so they can move on to other more interesting and engaging activities (like sleep)! Either way, if the sex exists at all, it is brief, goal (orgasm) oriented and is over as quickly as possible.

Tantric sex, however, differs in several ways. First, a prior agreement is made that time and space will be created for the specific purpose of nothing other than connecting and being together at the moment. Second, a conscious intention for reciprocal pleasure actually promotes excitement and increases sexual energy so right from the outset the mood is set and reinforces the outcome. Third, being fully present in the moment and being confident that there is no rush allows space for spontaneity and creativity, reducing the likelihood of boredom. Finally, caring communication enables vulnerability, which heightens closeness.

As there is no goal of orgasm, there is no pressure or pushing to reach the end of the session -- only the goal of creating intensity and pleasure together. This can be whatever you desire; it can be gentle and soft, hot and passionate, earthy and primal or ethereal and magical. The endless real possibilities here are far better than any unrealistic fantasy or run-of-the-mill sex session that sends long-term committed partners searching for that next fix to spruce up their sex lives.

Chapter 3

The Female Body

Many women are faced with societal pressures and social conditioning that can easily prevent them from connecting their sexual energy and engaging in sexual acts and behaviors solely for the purpose of fulfilling their own desires, rather than as an obligation to fulfill those of their partners. When a woman begins to understand that her sexuality and sexual nature are beautiful, powerful and positive, she can enjoy being sexually stimulated and nurtured by her lover. Helping her to realize her own orgasmic capacity and also be able to expand it, is one of the goals and outcomes of Tantric sex, and this chapter will explore Tantric methods and practices by which women can both be pleased by their partners.

The Yoni (Vagina)

"Yoni" (pronounced YO-nee) is the Sanskrit word for the vagina. The vagina is sacred in Tantra, and thus must be treated with the utmost care and respect. The Yoni massage is a sensuous technique that both emotionally and spiritually brings partners closer together, building trust and intimacy along the way.

How to Give a Tantric Yoni Massage

While the Yoni massage is definitely stimulating, remember that the main purpose is to relax both partners and encourage emotions to rise to the surface. Women may experience a variety of sensations and feelings during this massage ranging from lust to anger, to excitement, or indifference and all of this is a good thing! Remember, during the Yoni massage, there are no boundaries, as there is no focus on achieving any desired outcome other than to feel, observe, connect, and experience. As your skills improve and you move toward mastery of the Yoni massage, your understanding of female sexuality will deepen and your sex life as a whole will be much improved.

Breathing is a Tantric foreplay activity that assists in building emotional and spiritual bonds between lovers. Prior to beginning the Yoni massage, first spend some time increasing awareness of each other’s' essence and presence by gazing into each other’s eyes, embracing, and engaging in deep, synchronized breathing. The giver of the upcoming massage should take the lead in the breathing exercise, but both the giver and receiver should remain focused and relaxed during the entire activity. Should the receiver begin to stop, pause or take more shallow breaths, the giver should gently remind her of the pace and depth that she should be striving to meet.

When both parties feel sufficiently relaxed, comfortable and connected, the receiver should lie on her back with a pillow beneath her neck for comfort, and another underneath her hips, elevating her pelvis. She pulls her legs up by bending her knees with her feet flat on the bed or floor, and opens her legs, exposing her Yoni, while the giver sits cross-legged in between her open legs, on a pillow or cushion if desired.

The giver should begin by massaging other parts of her body, encouraging relaxation. Firmly and gently massage her arms, breasts, stomach, hips, and thighs before moving inward to her pelvic region. Continue by massaging her pubic bone, working your way to the inner thigh. Repeat this action, at least nine times, then use the right hand to apply a lubricant or oil to the top or mound of the Yoni, making sure that enough is poured so that the outer lips and outside of the Yoni are covered.

Rub the lubricant on the outer lips several times, as she will find this highly erotic and pleasurable. With the thumb and index finger of each hand, apply light pressure and squeeze each of her Yoni lips, sliding your oiled fingers up and down the entire length of each one. Once the outer lips are complete, repeat the process with each inner lip, paying close attention to her preferences, altering the pressure and speed according to her physical and audible cues.

The next step, clitoral stimulation, is optional and may or may not be possible, depending on her level of sensitivity to clitoral stimulation. You will have to pay close attention to her cues and expressed desires before going too far into clitoral stimulation, but if this is something that she enjoys, begin by stroking her clitoris in a gentle, circular motion. Next, while squeezing her clitoris between your thumb and index finger, rotate your hand until your wrist faces upward, carefully and slowly insert your middle finger into her Yoni, and explore the inside of her with your finger. Take your time and enjoy the way she feels. With varying degrees of speed and depth, feel up, down, right and left until you reach her "sacred spot" -- her G-spot.

Continue with the massage switching up the intensity, speed and direction. Maintain the connectivity of deep breathing and looking into each other’s' eyes. At this point, she may experience waves of powerful emotion, begin to shiver, shake and cry, but no matter what, keep breathing, keep encouraging her to breathe, and remain gentle. If she does reach orgasm, ask her if she would like you to continue. At this point, if you continue, she will likely have multiple orgasms in a row, each more intense than the last. In Tantra, this exciting experience is known as "riding the wave", and many women -- even those who have never experienced orgasm before -- can learn to become multi-orgasmic when the Tantric Yoni Massage is correctly performed by a gentle, patient partner.

Your job is to keep massaging and enjoying the moment until she assures you that she is ready to stop. At that time, allow her to relish the moment and enjoy the afterglow of the powerful orgasms you have given her while you enjoy the satisfaction of pleasing your woman and creating a special moment together.

The Clitoris

The clitoris is positioned in between the labia above the vagina. It consists of two parts -- the rounded glans and the longer shaft -- which is covered by a "hood" of skin, the clitoral hood. While most, if not all, women can reach orgasm from clitoral stimulation, as stated earlier in this book, some women are too sensitive in this area so it is always a good idea to check with the woman to see how much clitoral stimulation works for her. Regardless, it is important to make sure that you use enough lubrication when venturing to manipulate any woman's clitoris. You'll never want to touch that extremely sensitive area without adequate lubrication.

How to Give a Tantric Clitoral Massage

The purpose of the Tantric clitoral massage is to make the woman's clitoris the center of attention. This massage can be given alone, as part of a Yoni massage, part of the G-spot massage (which will be covered in the next section), or part of a standard erotic massage.

If the Tantric clitoral massage is not an extension of another session where you have already set the mood, make sure to create a warming, inviting, special ambiance where your partner will feel relaxed and open. Either ask her to undress, or slowly undress her yourself, and request that she lie face down once she is fully nude. Give her a full body massage, starting on her back working your way from neck to toe. After several minutes, turn her over, and then work your back up from her feet to her shoulders and neck.

Avoid massaging her breasts or genitalia for the time being to tease her and build momentum. The goal here is to heighten her senses, keep her guessing, and to invite her to expect the unexpected.

After you have massaged every inch of her body except for her genitalia and are ready to begin the clitoral massage, gently touch either of her knees, sliding your hand up her inner thigh, continuing up to her vulva. Depending on the size and sensitivity of her clitoris, you will be massaging it using between one and three fingers. As a rule:

If you can feel her clitoral shaft with your fingers, use your thumb and index finger (2 fingers).

If her clitoris is larger and more prominent, you can use your thumb, index finger, and middle finger (3 fingers).

On the contrary, if her clitoris is small and hidden, use either the tip of your index finger or your thumb (1 finger).

If you are only using one finger, place either the tip of your finger or your thumb atop her clitoris, move the skin underneath your finger either around in tiny circles or back and forth. Even if her clitoris is small and hidden, you should be able to feel it hardening and becoming more erect as she becomes more aroused.

If you are using more than one finger, lightly grasp the shaft with your thumb and index finger while gently sliding the tissue surrounding her clitoris back and forth in order to determine clitoral shape and firmness. It is important to determine how much the tissue around her clitoris slides around because you do not want to apply too much pressure. You want to avoid grasping the glans directly if possible, but the goal here is for the hood to slide back and forth as you manipulate the shaft, which will indirectly stimulate her glans.

Place your thumb and forefinger around the hood, lightly pinch the clitoris and gently roll it around between your fingers. Pull the hood up so that the clitoris is exposed, and blow on it. Use a heavily lubricated fingertip to gently tease it in different directions -- up, down, left, right, or in circles -- and pay attention to what she responds to best. This action will bring blood to the surface and charge her nerve endings.

If she is enjoying herself, continue in a steady rhythm. As her level of arousal increases, you can experiment with increasing pressure, but always remember to be gentle. You can vary the speed of your strokes from very slow and methodic in the beginning, making them increasingly faster as she nears orgasm.

Once she reaches orgasm, move your fingers away from her clitoris and to her labia. Maintain physical contact as she recovers from her orgasmic high. Once she has recovered you can either start over again or stop, but please never stop the massage abruptly unless she expresses discomfort. In this case, shift your focus to her vulva or other less sensitive areas in her pelvic region for a few minutes until she is ready to proceed.

Although she may orgasm very quickly and easily, it may take some time for both of you to get comfortable with this technique. The best way to figure out how to give and receive the Tantric clitoral massage is through keeping open minds and gaining experience through practicing together, which can be a great bonding experience.

The Breasts: How to Give a Tantric Breast Massage

The Tantric breast massage is a special ritual that allows a woman to receive sensual energy from her partner. Massaging the breasts makes them firmer and healthier while maintaining the hormonal balance within a woman's body. The Tantric breast massage is a way for one to please, heal and become more intimate with their partner, as the breasts need to be loved and honored first before other elements of her body will become free to open.

Breast tissue is delicate, but with proper technique and moderate pressure, a Tantric breast massage can be simple and safe. Make sure that the woman is in a warm, safe space before beginning, and verbally communicate to her that the massage is purely for her enjoyment and that she need not wonder about giving you pleasure at all.

Before beginning the massage, place one hand on her heart and the other on her Yoni and visualize energy moving from your heart into your hands and toward her heart and Yoni. This visualization is connection and healing and an important part of this Tantric massage session.

To avoid friction, apply massage oil onto the breast in circular motions going from the center of the chest into the underarm region. Caress her breasts slowly and gently, brushing the palms of your hands over the entire breast. Get into a rhythm, repeat your moves, at least twenty times at a consistent pace and pressure. First try going clockwise on both breasts. Then try the following move:

Place your palm over her entire breast with the nipple in the center.

Fan your fingers out, mimicking a wheel spoke.

Slowly bring your fingers in toward the nipple.

Finish with a slight (or firmer if you so desire) pinch.

Repeat.

After the above technique is applied, the second step is to gently knead the fully covered breasts by lifting them from the chest, pressing delicately. Alternating breasts one after the other, methodically twist and wring each one in rhythmic fashion, at least twenty times.

The third step is to gently attempt to "scoop" the flesh with the flat of the fingertips; first clockwise, then counterclockwise.

Fourth, you will directly massage the nipples. Place both thumbs on opposite sides of the nipple of one breast, starting at the outside edge of her areola (the dark, flat circle surrounding her actual nipple). Slowly bring your thumbs together, squeezing the nipple between the thumbs, then pull outwards toward you. Do this until a complete circle is made around her nipple, adjusting the pressure based on her reaction. Repeat on the other breast.

Finally, during the "cooling down" phase of the massage, you will stroke and smooth her skin. Take the fingertips of both hands toward the center of one breast and radiate them from the center outward toward the side. Do this, at least ten times, and then repeat on the other breast.

The breast massage ends the same way it began, with one hand on her heart and the other on her Yoni, visualizing warm energy moving from your heart into your hands and down into her heart and Yoni. Breathe deeply and slowly together for several minutes, and then allow her to rest.

While the primary purpose of the Tantric breast massage is to please the receiver, it is enjoyable for the giver too. It is not only emotionally and physically healing, but it provides relaxation and a sensuous form of foreplay. It can be done alone or as the introduction to other Tantric massages such as the Yoni massage, clitoral massage, or G-spot massage.

The G-Spot

The G-spot (Grafenberg spot) is a tiny lima-bean shaped region located on the front (tummy-side) wall of the Yoni, two to three inches beneath the pubic bone. This area is different in texture than the rest of the Yoni, in that it is spongier and coarse. G-spot stimulation causes intense orgasmic feelings that are greater than in a normal sexual response.

How to Give a Tantric G-Spot Massage

In Tantra, the G-spot is known to store creative sexual energy, but also has another side; it stores sexual or emotional pain as well. Therefore, the G-spot massage, when performed correctly, can be healing as it can remove blocks to sexual pleasure, replacing them with positive sensations.

Once the receiver of the massage is undressed and lying face down, begin by giving her a ten-minute full-body massage. Once she is fully relaxed, ask her politely if you may massage her more intimately. If she obliges, gently massage her pubic area including the lips of her Yoni with high-quality lubricant.

Upon arousal, whisper in her ear that you are going to put your fingers inside of her. Lubricate your first two fingers well, insert them as far into her Yoni as is comfortable for her, and move them in even circles all around. Keep in mind that consistent, firm pressure along the entire of length of the vaginal walls normally feels best, but you'll have to take her physical and audible cues as guides, as every woman is unique in her preferences. As a tip: pressing the palm of your other hand on the top of her pelvis can be very "grounding" for her.

Envision the G-spot as a clock. Spend a little bit of time with your fingers at each position of the clock. Pay attention to which "hours" feel best, which are numb, which may be painful, and which trigger some emotional reaction. If you find a great spot, press gently and hold. If any strong emotions arise such as anger, sadness or laughter, gently encourage her to describe anything she feels or "sees". Allow the energy to discharge, for this release of energy is healing and makes her sexual energy more available.

As the massage develops, begin to concentrate on pleasing her rather than on the numb or painful places. Another great way to stimulate the G-spot is by using the "press-and-release" technique:

Hook your fingers, pulling the G-spot upward.

Rhythmically press and release.

When the G-spot massage is finished, tell her that you are going to remove your fingers. As you gently slide your fingers out of her, press the mound of her vagina with your free hand, thus sealing the end of the Tantric G-spot Yoni healing process.

As a word of caution, it is important not to have any expectations regarding the outcome of this massage. Results may not be immediately visible and it may take a few tries before any emotions arise. In the meantime, take pleasure in becoming more familiar with your partner's Yoni and building a stronger bond between the two of you.

G-Spot Orgasms

Two conditions must be met to stimulate the G-spot. First, the woman must be aroused and secondly, pressure must be applied on the upper vaginal wall. Blood rushes to the G-spot similarly to how it does to the clitoris when a woman is sufficiently aroused, thus, any sexual position which places pressure on the area leads to greater chances of the woman experiencing the orgasm. The following four positions increase likelihood that the G-spot orgasm will be experienced.

Rear Entry: When the penis rubs on the upper wall of the vagina, rear entry maximizes chances of achieving a G-spot orgasm. The woman should kneel on all fours with her legs slightly spread apart. It is important that she resist the urge to put her face down, instead keeping her back slightly arched with her elbows either bent or up a locked because when the woman leans forward, the entry angle changes dramatically and the G-spot is harder to reach. As the man enters her from the rear, the sensation should be of tightness and full penetration. Initially, the woman may uncomfortably feel the penis on the cervix, but the man can alter his aim toward the G-spot by pulling upward on her hips and thrusting in a downward motion.

The Fusion: The man sits on the bed or floor with his arms behind him and his legs extended in front of him. The woman stands over him, facing him, and lowers herself onto his penis. Her legs should be bent up near his chest and her arms should be trailing her, between his legs. She uses her arms and legs to "rock" herself on his penis. While this position may seem unlikely to produce a G-spot orgasm, the angle and seductive position make it erotic.

The Flower Press: The Flower Press is great for people who may have challenges with other due to excess weight, pregnancy, or other body pains such as weak knees. With the Flower Press, the woman lies on her back and allows the man to penetrate her as in missionary position, but once penetration has begun, she raises her legs upward and back until they are either on his shoulders or chest. At this point, the man kneels up against her, using her things for support, and she grabs onto his hips, guiding him deeper into her. This position is so effective because not only does it allow for extreme penetration, but his pelvis rubs against her clitoris while the penis stimulates the G-spot due to the height elevation of the man in comparison to the woman.

Rotated Woman: The Rotated Woman position offers excellent stimulation. The man lies on the bed and the woman lowers herself onto him with her back facing him. Once he is inside of her, she very slowly and carefully leans forward into she is lying on top of his with her legs outstretched and her hands near his feet. She can slowly gyrate her hips into a "figure 8" motion, or just grab his ankles and use them as leverage to help slide herself upward and downward. Her vagina is pulled in this position, causing the penis to rub the G-spot. As a bonus, she also gets clitoral stimulation from his testicles and legs. Here the woman is in total control, as she sets the pace and depth of motion.

Tantric sex not only enhances physical sensations but transforms them into mechanisms for insight. Women feel G-spot orgasms deeper inside their bodies as opposed to the localized orgasms they experience with clitoral orgasms. The full-body orgasm is an excellent technique for reaching a state of blissful ecstasy.

The Perineum

A simple way to spice up your love life may be to give your woman a perineum massage. The perineum is a small area located between the vagina and anus and is packed with nerve endings. The clitoris extends down through the labia, perineum, and anus, allowing her to feel pleasure in these areas simultaneously. The perineum can be stimulated in two ways; during oral sex, and while having sex in the rear entry position, assuming her legs are spread enough to provide access. This erogenous area is too often ignored; don't deprive it! While it is less sensitive than the clitoris, some women find it to be incredibly receptive.

How to Give a Perineum Massage

Try these three techniques to give your woman an exciting Tantric perineum massage:

The Black Lotus: Perform oral sex on your woman as you usually would. After several minutes, press gently on the perineum tissue and let go. Repeat this many times, gradually increasing the pressure.

The Red Lotus: This is similar to the Black Lotus, but adds anal stimulation. During the performance of the Black Lotus, insert the tip of one finger slightly into her anus, gently moving your finger in circles. Be sure to ask permission before attempting this move, as not all women are receptive to anal stimulation. If she liked the Black Lotus, she will be more receptive to this. Make sure you use plenty of lubrication, go slowly, and gauge her cues.

The Blue Lotus: During rear entry, when she is nearing orgasm, massage her perineum in a circular motion. Rub her gently until she says she can't handle more, or until she climaxes. Women differ in how much stimulation they can take, so make sure you pay attention to what is pleasurable to her.

As every woman is different, experimentation and practice are the best way to discover what makes your partner tick. Some women report that a perineum massage assists them in releasing natural moisture, so less lubrication is needed. As with all sexual exploration, communication, experimentation and patience are keys to having the best encounters.

Chapter 4

The Male Body

While it is widely held that women can have multiple orgasms whereas most men cannot, practicing Tantric techniques can, in fact, enable men to become multi-orgasmic, separating orgasm from ejaculation, thus extending lovemaking duration. Men who practice Tantra also come to understand that they can both give and receive pleasure with or without an erection, and this is beneficial to the couple as a whole. Through Tantra, men become empowered in their sexuality by mastering it, slowing down and not becoming ashamed of it.

The Lingam (Penis)

"Lingam" is the Sanskrit word for the penis and is literally translated to mean "wand of light". In Tantra, the Lingam is viewed with respect and honored as a wand of light that channels energy and pleasure. Orgasm may offer a pleasant side-effect to receipt of a Lingam massage, but it is never the goal. The goal is to massage the organ, encouraging a man to relax and surrender to a deeper form of pleasure that he may not be used to.

Men must learn to relax and receive pleasure that is not goal (orgasm) oriented, as is common with traditional sexual expectation.

Taoist belief holds that the Lingam has reflex points similar to those in the feet or hands which when stimulated properly can affect the whole organ, allowing the massage to be both healing and sexual simultaneously. Applying pressure to different pressure points in the Lingam disperses energy to the entire body, leading to a wave-like experience of pleasure. This energy is dispersed all over the body, and then is built upon. In this fashion, men are able to experience full-body orgasms, and this wave of pleasure can last for a much longer time than a regular orgasm.

How to Give a Tantric Lingam Massage

Prepare a quiet dim space with a bed, futon, or a blanket and pillows on the floor. Make sure that the temperature is slightly warmer than normal, as you will both be nude. Lighting candles is an excellent idea both for lighting and temperature regulation. Your high-quality oils and lubricants should be within reach. Using spill-resistant bottles and plastic instead of glass is advised. And most of all make sure that you have a few hours of uninterrupted time so that you won't feel rushed.

Begin by standing or sitting face-to-face, and breathe deeply together. Touch each other by embracing or holding hands while looking into each other’s eyes, breathing rhythmically from the belly. If he begins to hold his breath or lose focus, position one hand on his lower belly, and encourage him to breathe from that place and "fill his belly" with breath.

Have him lie face down and give him a full-body massage for at least ten minutes. Request that he turn over, and then continue his massage. Advance the massage toward the inner thighs and pelvis until his entire body is relaxed.

As a show of respect for his male power, ask for permission to touch his Lingam. If he is familiar with Tantric terminology, ask "May I touch your Wand of Light"? Otherwise asking "May I touch your Lingam?" or "May I touch your penis?" will suffice. If he obliges, cover his Lingam and testicles with the oil or lubricant. Rub the solution into his skin, starting at the top of his inner thighs, moving into the crease where his legs meet the pelvis. Release tension as you work along the connecting tissue, bone and muscles using slow, steady motions.

Continue by massaging above the Lingam on the pubic bone. Place one hand over this area, feeling the bone beneath the muscle. Slowly work your way down to the scrotum, very gently pulling on his testicles. It is important to pay attention to his physical and audible cues, as well as encourage him to let you know what feels right to him, as some men are averse to testicular pressure, while others very much enjoy stronger handling. Begin gently and slowly build pressure until you find the perfect amount.

Finally, slowly place one hand on the Lingam with your right hand. As you massage the shaft, squeeze the Lingam at the very bottom with your right hand, pull up, and slide completely off. Then alternate hands. Repeat this motion with each hand several times, and then switch direction -- slide alternating hands from the top back down to the base.

Take the Lingam between both hands and rub your hands together quickly as if attempting to start a fire. Hold the Lingam by the head and gently shake back and forth. Massage the head, cupping it in your palm and turning your wrist as if juicing a lemon.

If at any time he seems close to ejaculation, slow your movements and let him "cool down" before continuing. If he is close but not past the point of no return, you may be able to delay ejaculation by squeezing the tip of the Lingam between the thumb and forefinger very firmly and holding it for about thirty seconds, encouraging him to take deep breaths the entire time.

If you are successfully able to hold back his orgasm six times, tons of sexual energy will be stored. He can then retain and circulate this energy throughout his body, or choose to release. If he does choose to ejaculate, a much more intense orgasm than usual will be experienced. Remind him to take deep, controlled breaths as he ejaculates. Once the massage is complete, tell him that you will now remove your hands and allow him time to relax and enjoy the mind-blowing pleasure he has received.

The Testicles

Testicle massages can infuse the testicles with blood and clear out any blockages. Massaging the testicles on a regular basis can improve erections, ejaculation volume, and sperm count. The massage even has the potential to increase testicular size, making them fuller-feeling, lower-hanging, and more sensitive.

How to Give a Tantric Testicle Massage

Testicles are the most sensitive part of most men’s' bodies, as such, many women fear massaging the area for fear of causing pain. The irony behind this is that it is exactly this sensitivity that incites pleasure once the area is stroked. The testicles can be one of the most erogenous spots on his body if stimulated properly, and a good testicle massage can be an outstanding experience for a man if a lover is doing it.

Once a safe, warm, ambient place is set and your man is comfortable and ready, here are eight steps that you can try to give a pleasing Tantric testicle massage:

Trace circles around the base of the penis where the shaft is attached to the scrotum.

Very lightly pinch the scrotal skin, gently rolling the skin between your fingers, and monitor his response.

Very lightly run your fingernails across the skin of his scrotum, paying close attention to his reaction. Some men absolutely love this sensation while others become nervous. If he likes it, continue. If not, stop.

With a firm grip, wrap your hands around his penis. Slide one hand up over the head and the other down across the testicles. This motion makes the penis feel big, expanding the sensation.

Cup the testicles and give them a gentle squeeze. Monitor his reaction, making sure that you aren't squeezing too hard.

Placing your hand at the bottom of the testicles, run your fingers from the bottom of the scrotum all the way up to the head of the penis in one smooth motion.

Hold the penis up, exposing the testicles, and tap them lightly with your middle finger.

Hold the penis and testicles in between the thumb and forefinger of one hand. Pull them both forward with your hand. Do this at least ten times in each direction -- up, down, left, and right.

Chapter 5

Tantric Fellatio And
Cunnilingus

Tantric Fellatio

As previously described, the Lingam in Tantra is literally Sanskrit for “Wand of Light. As worship of the Lingam has been practiced throughout history dating back to over 28,000 years, any book exploring the topic of Tantric sex would be remiss without a chapter expounding upon the sacred art of Tantric fellatio.

The erotic practice of Tantric fellatio – also referred to as auparshtaka in the Kama Sutra – is intended to relax, nurture and soothe the male body. Extending beyond mere sexual satisfaction, Tantric fellatio also serves as a deep communication between lovers, balancing and intertwining the energy and moods of the duo.

As with all other methods of practicing Tantra, having the proper setting is of utmost importance. The space where Tantric fellatio is practiced must be warm, comfortable and inviting to ensure that your sexual partner will feel relaxed.

The most appropriate – and obvious – position to perform Tantric fellatio is in front of the man, on your knees. You may want to place a pillow underneath your knees for increased comfort, but if this position proves to be too uncomfortable to hold for any length of time, sitting on a chair or on the bed’s edge with him standing in front of you will also suffice.

Prior to making oral contact with the lingam, first make eye contact in order to establish a strong connection with your man. As an added bonus, let him know he is in control by asking for permission – “May I put your penis in my mouth”? Alternatively, tell him exactly how being given permission to honor, please and worship him in this fashion makes you feel.

Once permission and declaration of desire are established, begin by taking him lingam into your mouth, as slowly and deeply as you possibly can. Once you reach your limit, pause. Allow it to linger deep inside of your mouth and take some time to really appreciate and admire its length and hardness, and thus your man’s arousal. Proceed with performing fellatio as lovingly and passionately as you can, maintaining eye contact all the while in order to preserve your connection, which only serves to intensify the experience.

The steady rhythm of your mouth’s movement up and down the shaft of his lingam should be sustained for several minutes. Really get into a pattern and groove, judging by his body cues how he is feeling. Once the pattern is set and you both are really deep into the act, change pace in order to prolong the act and “shock” him. Alternate sliding his member in and out, “holding” it still in your mouth while whirling your tongue around and around the shaft, then flick your tongue at the opening on the head of his penis.

If all is going as expected, your man should signal to you in some way that you need to reduce pressure and stimulation in order to prevent premature ejaculation. Once signaled to give him a little bit of a break, slowly slide your mouth away from the base of the penis while keeping the head of the penis in your mouth. The trick to control his ability to orgasm without stopping completely is to cover your teeth with your lips, keeping just the head of the lingam squeezed tightly between your lips. This creates a numbing “closed” sensation that calms your man down and prevents orgasm. Once he regains his bearing and signals that you can continue, feel free to pick back up where you left off. This “holding” technique is the single most effective move that will allow you and your partner to enjoy Tantric fellatio indefinitely without involuntary or premature ejaculation.

When you are both ready, in order to quickly and intentionally bring him to an amazing climax, lock your lips tightly around his lingam, quickly suctioning them up and down his shaft while simultaneously using your tongue to apply pressure to the underside of his lingam. The key here is to make sure that you are applying pressure both with your lips as well as your tongue, in order to administer the full effect of the motion. Contrary to what may sound more effective, doing this very slowly rather than quickly will result in a more intense feeling, so you may want to play around with the speed and pressure a bit in order to find the magic zone. Regardless of speed and pressure, however, always maintain a steady, methodic rhythm.

Accepting his semen into your mouth is indeed the Tantric way to end fellatio. In Tantra, the deity resides in the semen and it is through swallowing the semen that the deity enters the body of the worshipper. If you choose to end your Tantric fellatio session with accepting his semen into your mouth, as soon as you feel him start to ejaculate, suck slowly and deliberately on his lingam, pulling his semen into you, ending the session by thanking him for his gift to you.

Tantric Fellatio Tips

1.        Take Your Time: Many times, it can be tempting to rush things, especially in the heat of the moment when the energy is really high. Watching fellatio in commercial porn may lead aspiring Tantric artists to follow suit, rushing the practice, when that is one of the most ineffective ways to perform quality fellatio. Take your time and experience his body and his reactions to what you are doing. Revel in the pleasure that you take knowing that you are driving him wild. Play around with different techniques and levels of pressure, seeing what effects different moves have on him. Really get lost in the moment, and be honest about your intention. Honest, curious exploration of his pleasure centers in a slow, deliberate fashion will lead to the greatest outcome.

2.       Communication is Key: Whether verbal or nonverbal, communication is everything. It is so important for the pleasure of both parties involved that some form of constant desire is maintained. Beginning with asking for permission as previously indicated is an excellent start, but make sure you also listen to audible cues, touch cues, and pay attention to eye contact. For example, he may grab the back of your head if he’d like you to administer more pressure, whereas if he winces some, you may be causing him pain with too much pressure. You can also ask him questions throughout the process. Ask him if he likes what you’re doing to him, for example, or if he would like you to continue. This is certain to drive him wild! (Just don’t talk with your mouth full!)

3.       Lube it Up: Always make sure you have lots of lubrication, be it saliva or coconut oil (which works great, by the way). You want to minimize friction as much as possible, but besides that a little sloppiness and wetness adds to the sensation as well as can provide some erotic sounds to accompany the feeling!

4.        Cover Them Up: As previously stated, make sure that your teeth are covered. The most effective way to do this is when you are making more shallow motions, make sure your lips are covering your teeth. The worst possible thing you can do in the middle of an erotic Tantric fellatio session is ruin it by grazing one of your man’s most sensitive organs, so take special precaution to avoid this by making sure your teeth are covered!

Tantric Cunnilingus

As previously stated, Yoni is the Sanskrit word for vagina. The Yoni is the most sacred part of the female anatomy in Tantra, and thus it must be honored, adored, worshiped and cherished. An ancient Indian tradition that is still very much alive today, Yoni worship provides benefits to men and women alike, in that acts as a dance or mingling of polarities between masculine and feminine energy.

The erotic ritual of Tantric cunnilingus is a deep communication between lovers that extends beyond mere arousal and orgasm, and just as with Tantric fellatio, it balances the moods and energy of the couple.

As with Tantric fellatio and all other Tantric practices, having the proper setting is imperative to achieving the perfect experience for your woman. The space where the Tantric cunnilingus ritual will be performed should be warm and inviting, incredibly welcoming and comfortable, so that she will be relaxed, at ease, and ready to receive the pleasure you will bestow upon her.

Before you begin to touch your lips to her Yoni, make eye contact to establish a solid connection. An incredibly sexy way to get started is to ask her permission to taste her, explaining just how positively this makes you feel.

One of the best positions to practice Tantric cunnilingus is with your woman reclining on a bed or in a comfortable chair with her legs spread wide apart and you on your knees in front of her, with your mouth having full access to her accepting Yoni. An additional position would have her lying on the bed with her waist at the bed’s very edge, either with her legs dangling over the sides of the bed or once again, wide open, allowing you access to her most sacred body part.

Look at her Yoni, appreciating the perfect way that it looks and paying attention to how you feel in the moment. Smell her – inhale her scent – then slowly exhale with sounds of sexual pleasure and joy. The combination of your behavior, the sound of your breath, the way you look at her, and your declaration that the way she smells drives you wild should make her feel like the Goddess that she is, and prepare her for what is to come.

You may now slowly taste her, but pay attention to all the sensations that come along with this act. Feel the texture of the folds of her skin, smell the fragrant aroma of her flower, savor the sweetness of her juices and fully experience this most sacred part of your cherished lover. Allow yourself to feel and receive her sexual energy.

Tease her with light touch of your fingers as well as your lips and your tongue – alternate between planting gentle kisses on her Yoni lips, licking her clitoris (gently) to moisten it, then blowing a light stream of cool air on it to further lightly provide stimulation.

Pay very close attention to how her Yoni responds to you. When aroused, the Yoni lips will fatten as they become engorged with blood; at this moment, her flower will blossom right before your very eyes.

Once again, lick and nibble on each of her Yoni lips with yours before using the tip of your tongue to tease and dance around her vaginal opening, then slide your tongue all the way inside of her Yoni – as far as you can go. As her excitement increases with your tongue inside of her, slide your tongue in and out, and on the “out” motion bring the top of your tongue up high enough to gently graze over her clitoris before sliding your tongue back inside.

A note about the clitoris: The clitoris is a highly sensitive area containing over 8,000 nerve fibers – nearly twice as many as exist in the male Lingam. Please remember to make sure you aren’t applying too much pressure to her clitoris, as this can cause discomfort and ruin your session. Be proactive in learning about her particular level of sensitivity, as not every woman will enjoy the same amount of pressure. It is best to start out as lightly as possible, increasing slowly until you reach a comfortable level for her. Over time you will discover exactly what she likes, and that’s when the real fun and connection begin! To reach this level, patience is a must. It takes some time to achieve this goal, but in the end, it will be worth it.

Most women are gifted with the ability to achieve multiple orgasms, which makes for amazing, lengthy Tantric cunnilingus sessions. If you become skilled at reading your woman’s body signals, however, denying her orgasm and bringing her to her peak, then resumes once the orgasm recedes is one potent way to intensify her experience. Building her orgasm and letting it die out repeatedly make for an incredibly powerful orgasm once you do allow her to climax, and the very act of being teased and then pleased so expertly will absolutely drive her wild.

After she has had her first (and second, and third) orgasm, continue to lick her. If she is not overly sensitive and pushing you away or begging you to stop, continue pleasing her. This sends many women completely over the edge, and you both may be surprised to find out just how many orgasms you can bring her to. If she is squirming too hard, however, make sure you slow down. The focus should always be on making sure she feels comfortable and is in a zone of heightened pleasure – never distress.

Chapter 6

Pleasing With The Lingam
And The Yoni

4 Positions to Please Your Lover, Even if You Have a Small Penis

Studies show that the average erect penis is 5.5 to 6.5 inches long and 4.5 to 5 inches in circumference, with a penis with an erect length of fewer than 5 inches considered to be small. The Kama Sutra classifies men by penis size. A man with a small penis is a "hare man" while a man with an average sized penis is a "bull man", and respectively, a man with a larger than average penis is a "horse man". The following four variations of common positions will help ensure that even a "hare man" penetrates his woman as deeply as possible, providing the most satisfaction.

Man-on-top: In this position, the woman tilts her pelvis down so that her vaginal opening is aimed toward the mattress. Her bent knees are held up toward her chest and her lead is propped up by pillows underneath. This position increases pressure against her vaginal walls and shortens her vaginal canal, thereby giving a greater sensation of depth.

Woman Sitting: The man stands or keels as the woman sits on the edge of a bed, couch or counter/table top. This enables the man to enter her at a slightly upward angle so that he penis will hit the top of her vagina. She'll feel a heightened sensation as he hits this area, and he'll feel pleasurable pressure and tightness.

Man sitting: The man sits while the woman lies flat on her back with a pillow beneath her head and another underneath her hips. The man brings her knees to her ears; she holds her legs in position while he enters her.

Woman Face Down: The woman lies face down with her legs straight out and closed and a pillow placed under her hips if she so desires. The man bends his knees but keeps his torso upright, places his penis just under the woman's butt and careful to avoid dropping his weight on her, makes his way inside. The woman may need to slightly open her legs initially to let him in, but legs closed once inside provides the strongest sensation.

Sexual intercourse is an important aspect of intimate relations between a man and woman, and penis size need not affect the quality of the interaction. These four positions allow the man who is less well-endowed to give his woman the feeling of fullness she craves while feeling the sensation of tightness that he enjoys, leading to mutual satisfaction.

Pompoir: Milking the Lingam with the Yoni

Pompoir: The Art of Milking the Lingam

The art of "milking" the Lingam with the Yoni is called "Pompoir". With both partners still, the woman grips and massages the Lingam with the pelvic floor muscles and rippling contractions of the pubococcygeus (PC) muscle. This rippling effect, which also occurs during an intense female orgasm, causes a "milking" sensation that can be detected by the Lingam.

A woman who is trained in the art of Pompoir is called a "Kabbazah", which is translated to mean "one who holds". Men report Pompoir feeling like having a velvety hand wrapped around the penis, gripping and stroking them into sexual nirvana.

The Ten-Step Pompoir Technique:

Get into a position where the woman is on top or sitting, such as woman on top.

Make sure the man is relaxed and passive, with the woman doing all the work.

Stimulate the man to erection, and then insert the Lingam into the Yoni.

Make sure that he does not thrust or move his Lingam at all his own accord, and that he remains as still as he can.

Once the Lingam is inside and you are in proper straddling position, do not move your pelvis. Your only movements should be contracting your Yoni using your Pompoir skills.

Kiss and caress each other freely, but absolutely no thrusting or rocking. The purpose is to use your Yoni muscles to massage the Lingam.

Contract and release your PC muscles in differing patterns until you feel the Lingam begin to throb. This should take place after about 10 or 15 minutes and is an indication of arousal.

Once you get a sense of the pattern of his throbbing Lingam, time your contraction and release with the throbbing. As he nears ejaculation, speed up your contraction and release.

Continue to milk the Lingam as he reaches orgasm. This sensation is such that he feels as though the ejaculation is being sucked right out of his body.

Post-climax, continue contracting and releasing your muscles, building up your own orgasm. Add additional stimulation to your clitoris if needed, and keep flexing until you are satisfied.

While being able to manipulate your man's Lingam without using your hands is enough reason to become trained in the art of Pompoir, developing the gripping PC muscles also increases a woman's orgasmic intensity and variety. For most women, orgasm is achieved via clitoral stimulation, but with proper exercise, any woman can develop the ability to experience multiple vaginal orgasms.

Exercising the PC Muscle

The PC (pubococcygeus) and pelvic floor muscles must be strengthened to practice Pompoir. Insert a clean finger into your Yoni and try to squeeze it with your vagina to first locate the PC muscles, making sure that you are not tensing any other muscles. Then try these four exercises:

The Short Squeeze: Contract the PC muscles at a pace of one squeeze per second, for a total of ten seconds. Begin with two sets of ten, and gradually build up to two sets of fifty per day.

The Long Squeeze: Hold the contraction for a count of three, relaxing between contractions. Work up to holding and relaxing for ten seconds each. Begin with two sets of ten, gradually building up to two sets of fifty.

Pull-in, Push-Out: This exercise uses both the abdominal and PC muscles. Pull the entire pelvic floor upward, imagining trying to suck water into the Yoni, and then bear down as if trying to push water out. Do these five times in a row and build up to ten sets.

The Elevator: Envision an elevator in your pelvic region and that you'd like to raise it floor by floor. Beginning on the ground, envision going up to the first, second, and third floors. Holds for ten seconds on the third floor, then slowly allow the elevator to go down, again stopping at each floor. Once you hit the ground floor, relax the muscles. Start with one set of ten reps, and then build up to five sets of ten.

It is recommended to break up the exercises into two or more sessions daily. You will get the same benefits no matter how the sessions are broken up if the total number of reps is maintained. Try different positions like standing, kneeling, and sitting to completely exercise the muscles. As you become more skilled at these exercises and your muscles become stronger, you may notice that you can isolate different groups of muscles. Eventually, you can even isolate your clitoris, for example, and discretely stimulate yourself whenever you please.

Conclusion

I hope the information in this book has helped you learn more about the sacred art of Tantric Sex and given you the confidence that you need to bring your sex life to new heights. Remember that the tips in this book only work if you actually use them, so don’t simply read the exercises and suggestions without practicing them – and as always – practice makes perfect!

Best of luck!

Kama Sutra

A Modern Interpretation for Couples to Encourage Intimate Bonding

Introduction

In a world full of millennial problems, people have found it harder and harder to become happy. The same thing be said about relationships during this time.

Back in the day, divorce and annulments have never been heard off. Now, they’re a quick yet expensive remedy to any unhappy marriage.

Whatever happened to couples working together to keep themselves happy? Whatever happened to the passion that gets two people together in the first place? Where does it go?

This manual is designed to help rekindle those flames with the help of an ancient script: The Kama Sutra.

Mostly associated with the act of sex, this collection of lessons is commonly misunderstood as taboo material only meant for the sexually active. What most people do not know is that this manual holds plenty of wisdom that is still applicable in today’s age.

This is because the Kama Sutra is all about love and pleasure. These are two things that are difficult to find in today’s busy culture. A fresh perspective from ancient times is sure to work wonders. It is a treatise on how gentlemen should treat their ladies and how women should reciprocate these romantic advances.

It is also about control and the separation of the controlled desires of men from the unrestrained pleasures that beasts perform. It is about creating enjoyable experiences with a lover in order to build a bond that leads to enlightenment and inner peace.

This book will guide readers through descriptions on how to build stronger emotions and bonds not just through love-making, but also through other forms of affection that have been described in details over this manual.

CHAPTER 1

What Is The Kama Sutra?

You might have already heard about this legendary collection of texts in pop culture. Images depicting sensual acts between consenting adults may come into mind at the mere mention of the name. In fact, several movies have already been made based on the teachings in this scripture. It might have been thrown around as a joke or two in some scenes but the term Kama Sutra has become quite synonymous to the amorous affair of making love.

Closely related to matters behind locked bedrooms, this literary piece was compiled by a sage called Vatsyayana Mallanaga for a Hindu audience.

In truth, it is impossible to pinpoint who created these writings, but the modern world is lucky that efforts have been made not just to compile them, but to translate them from ancient Sanskrit to more modern tongues.

For beginners, Hinduism is known as one of the largest religious movements in the world; third largest to be exact. Most of the people who practice Hinduism are from Nepal, India, Bali and Bangladesh.

On top of being one of the largest collections of followers in the world, it is also one of the oldest. It can be said that Hinduism stems from Vedic traditions which hail from a time wherein India had barely discovered iron and have begun utilizing it.

The Vedic tradition is known as the oldest form of worship in the Hindu world and modern Hinduism is based on its teachings. It is surprising to see that a collection of knowledge so old would still have bearings in today’s society.

Interestingly, this compilation (The Kama Sutra) isn’t just about elaborate measures of coital pleasure. This collection mainly talks about the regular Joe (in ancient Indian times) and how he should live his life amongst the people. It paints pictures of the modern man’s life (at that time). From tending to his personal business to nights out with friends and lovers, it covers almost every aspect of a grown Indian man’s life.

Not only does it talk about men. It also talks about how women should behave during those times. Think of it as a manual for day-to-day discourse and engaging members of the opposite sex.

It even contains advice on how to attract women. Needless to say, the Kama Sutra is a book about pleasure. In fact, its direct translation into English is “Treaties on Pleasure.”

History of the Kama Sutra

This collection of scriptures is only one of three ancient writings hailing back from Ancient India.

According to these scriptures, people should aspire for four goals in life; power (artha), pleasure (kama), moral obligation (dharma) and release from the cycle of reincarnation (Moksha). Each goal was inscribed in ancient texts. Unfortunately, the annals for artha and dharma have been lost in time. All that remains are the treaties on love and pleasure brought by the Kama Sutra.

Vatsyayana compiled these scriptures with his own interpretations during the 4 th century. He converted the ancient Sanskrit into a more modern Indian dialect. Many years after, British scholars went to work on creating a translated version of these documents.

The first known English publication of these writings came out in 1883. They were first published under a Sir Francis Burton who worked with Indian nationals to obtain original copies of the text to try to produce a close translation of the traditional writings.

After that, numerous other scholars came out with their own translations and versions over the following years. One popular publication entitled “The Complete Kama Sutra” came out in 1994 under the name Alain Danielou. This book originally came out in French and later translated into English. This book contained many exact texts coming from Vatsyayana and interpreted for audiences that are more modern.

The Kama Sutra Today

Although many things have already changed within today’s millennia, plenty of people still consider the Kama Sutra as a source of relationship advice for couples. Since the book talks about courting, coitus and marriage, plenty of people think of it as classic knowledge that still applies to the modern world.

Interestingly, the sexual positions described in the manual have become a large area of interest for many modern couples looking for something to spice up their relationship. This is perhaps one of the reasons why these writings have been closely related to discussions on bedroom practices.

On another note, the challenges of modern life have also influenced the way couples communicate and express interest and affection in today’s age. This also means that the problems couples face are also different. Arguments are more commonplace, cheating has become a rampant yet taboo discussion, pornography and unmentionables now plague the relationships of today.

The Kama Sutra provides a classic solution to these problems by introducing couples to a simple set of practices that can rekindle lost passions and keep both parties contented with each other; which is one of the main goals of the texts.

CHAPTER 2

Common Questions About The Kama Sutra

Is it just about coitus?

You’ll be surprised to know that the Kama Sutra isn’t just about ways to make love. Although a large portion of these scriptures depicts intimate lovemaking acts and how to perform them, this is not the entirety of the Kama Sutra.

The Kama Sutra also contains decrees and items that dictate how men and women should act in accordance with fulfilling their roles under the sun. It also shares advice and rules when courting. In addition to that, there are also verses that speak of proper moderation and control to separate man from beast.

If you would divide the Kama Sutra into two distinct sections, you can say that a little over half is devoted to the amorous art of making love. The other half contains rules and descriptions on how to conduct oneself in society while enjoying the carnal pleasures that life has to offer.

Isn’t this against my religion?

At the very core, the Kama Sutra is a religious doctrine; so yes, there are some points there that may contradict other teachings of other religions.

However, it has disciplines and practices that echo through and respect modern religions and practices. This is why sexologists and marriage counselors consider it as required reading.

This manual will focus on building intimacy and a deeper-than-flesh bond between you and your partner. All practices within are safe and simply require an inquisitive demeanor and an open mind. There are no rituals or prayers involved.

Does the Kama Sutra Promote Sex?

Not at all. What the book promotes is a healthy, yet moderate consumption of daily pleasures that life has to offer. In a world where work, family, and friends can cause a loss of intimacy for couples, the Kama Sutra provides ways to enjoy your relationship with your partner.

In fact, the Kama Sutra talks about control first before describing its famous practices. Men should exercise moderation and restraint in order to differ himself from beasts who partake in their carnal desires with wanton restraint.

Is this the same as Tantric Sex?

Although both ideas have existed during ancient Hindu times, they are unrelated. The Kama Sutra makes no mention of Tantric lovemaking through its pages and does not solely focus on creating intense climaxes.

Consider the Kama Sutra as a more holistic approach that covers a larger macro-perspective to the sex-only realm of Tantric lovemaking.

One big difference between the Kama Sutra and Tantric sex is the belief in spiritual energy that is circulated during coital congress. When a couple bonds, they do not only share each other’s bodies but their spiritual essences as well. This practice is meant for a more specific type of audience.

On the other hand, the Kama Sutra makes no mention of spiritual energies and treats the act of lovemaking as an art that men should master. It is filled with “arts” that depict various pleasure-giving practices than man can do with his woman when they engage in congress.

Although there is nothing wrong with trying both practices, the Kama Sutra is a more complete approach to a better enjoyment of one’s partner.

Do we have to be flexible?

Not at all. Nothing in the Kama Sutra states that one should be of additional lightness of foot or firmness of arms in order to enjoy the arts that it implores.

What the Kama Sutra requires is a knowledge of the arts. These are subjects such as music, dance, weaving and many other skills with which to impress one’s lover.

Another requirement is knowledge of the sensual arts it discusses. These are the arts of coital congress, kissing, embracing, biting and the like.

Interestingly, the Kama Sutra states that when a man has gained knowledge on the sensual arts, his colleagues deem him respectable. Should he not, he is deemed unfit for gatherings with his peers until he does so.

On the other hand, even if a man has many other skills, but he cannot satisfy his partner in bed, he is still considered incomplete and unworthy of discussions with his fellow men.

It helps, though. Being flexible allows a couple to try more daring positions or create their own permutations of the acts depicted in this book. What is important is that both couples are aware of the comfort levels of their partner and they stay within those bounds during congress.

Interestingly, whenever one party felt unsatisfied after sex, the partner is said to be a literal “disappointment” which may ring during discussions among friends outside the bedchamber.

Does it Cure Men with ED?

Erectile dysfunction (ED) happens when a man has difficulty getting aroused during sex. This leads men to turn to artificial forms of arousal such as Viagra and other drugs, which could do more harm than good in the long run.

Interestingly, ED is more of a psychological problem rather than a biological one. Not being able to “get it up” may not point to a twisted blood vessel in the organ of a man or a broken set of equipment. It may stem from a deeper issue such as chronic stress from work and family.

Another point that most couples overlook is the fact that the male may not be happy in the relationship. This will definitely lead to a poor performance, especially if the man is forced into sex out of marital duty.

Although the Kama Sutra is designed to increase passion, it may be better to consult a psychiatrist before engaging in more daring forms of lovemaking; especially if the male is suffering from erectile dysfunction.

Are There Other Scripts on Pleasure?

Definitely, but not in just India, per se. There is an older collection of treatises on sex developed by an old Chinese emperor named Huang-Ti. It was based on Taoist principles and it discussed matters about the bedroom and what couples should do as well. This collection dates back to more than 4000 years ago in ancient China.

Another eastern collection on matters of the bedroom is a Japanese medical encyclopedia known as the Ishimpo. However, this manual didn’t just contain descriptions of the intimate parts of people; it also discussed various sexual positions as well as described various aphrodisiacs one can use to heighten pleasure.

From these examples, it is safe to say that the art of making love is a big deal even during ancient times. Pleasing your partner isn’t just a masochistic duty that modern feminists tend to frown upon. Sex is a sacred act that requires learning and delicacy.

CHAPTER 3

Before The Good Stuff:
The Basics

Although the Kama Sutra is known for its many sexual positions, it also provides us with a few morsels of pre-coital knowledge that both men and women should know. Before trying out the positions described by this manual, it is important to take note of a few things.

Enriching the Mind

One of the most eye-opening points of the Kama Sutra is its reverence to a higher purpose. It was mentioned earlier that the book is only one-third of a larger collection of ancient teachings towards enlightenment.

Surprisingly, the Kama sutra doesn’t immediately jump into coital discussions and amorous affairs. In fact, it makes a steadfast statement on higher callings and the goal of man to reach them above anything else.

In the hierarchy of these ancient Hindu teachings, the acquisition of power comes before enjoying the pleasures that life has to offer.

By acquisition of power, the book means land, money, influence and most importantly, knowledge. Both men and women should be well-versed in the myriad arts in order to attract someone of the opposite sex.

On another note, the arts during those times differ vastly from the way the arts proliferate in today’s society. However, being a learned person can go a long way when it comes to maintaining a passionate and enduring relationship.

This can be applied in modern settings by learning about your partner. What is their primary interest? What sorts of hobbies do they keep? Being knowledgeable about these things shows your partner that you are interested in them and that you are willing to spend the time to get to know them better. There’s no better aphrodisiac than that.

The Difference between Men and Women

In a world demanding equality and other gender-mixing ideals, the Kama Sutra provides a nostalgic appreciation of older values that plenty of couples will find interesting.

One of the biggest points mentioned in the book is the point that the process is different for both sexes. At the very core, men are the actors in making love, while women are the audience, which means they should be entertained.

This very statement itself indicates that the man should be holding the reigns within the bedroom. Although this statement sounds old-fashioned and a little bit sexist, it also brings in the old adage of chivalry into the picture.

This is where romance and stamina both come into play. In recent divorce surveys, it was found that underperformance in bed came into the top five reasons why most marriages fail. The primary cause is money.

It is the job of the man to initiate the lovemaking and convince the woman to sleep with him. It is the role of the woman to let the man know if she is in the mood for it or not.

Another point mentioned in the book is that men and women experience lovemaking differently. When men feel spent after reaching their climax, women take in the whole process from foreplay to orgasm, which is probably why they are capable of climaxing more than once in the same sitting. This is why the Kama Sutra points out that they should still be able to please their partners even after they’re done.

Setting the Mood

One very notable aspect about the Kama Sutra is its attention to detail. It’s not just about where to lie down and get on with things. It’s all about getting into the right mood with the right atmosphere.

The book tells men that they should have candles in a room near a small swimming pool to create the perfect mood for the woman. It also talks about touching women the right away to let them know of your intentions.

By these examples, you can say that it is important to ensure that the woman feels wanted and special.

On top of that, the Kama Sutra also dictates that men should know how to entertain and impress a woman with his knowledge of the arts and his belongings. Although this point is considered outdated and not applicable to modern times, the need to be well versed in conversation is always welcome in a gentleman’s arsenal.

The Kama Sutra suggests that discussion, touching, embracing and kissing actually delivers a woman to her climax more than the actual act of coitus. Interestingly, the Kama Sutra makes no mention of the importance of looks for men who would like to enjoy sex. It is more about how charming and eloquent he is.

Reading Body Language

In the other chapters of the Kama Sutra, much attention has been placed into the art of embracing, touching and even kissing. This is because the ancient Hindi believed that by sending the right signals through touching, men could send their message of interest across to women without even saying a word, making the engagement less business-like and more personal.

Eye Contact

It can be noted that the positions described within the Kama Sutra have one thing in common; they require the man and woman to be looking into each other’s eyes as they make love.

This act has somewhat become forgotten in today’s society. This important act build passion and gusto, and at the same time fills a large gap once coitus is over. This is the gap of affection.

By looking into each other’s eyes, couples become one not just in body, but in their hearts as well. Nothing can be more sensual and personal than staring into the eyes of a lover during coitus.

Playfulness

One conception almost impossible to make of the Kama Sutra is that it is of a playful tone despite being a collection of religious sacraments.

The Kama Sutra encourages having a playful mind when it comes to enticing one’s lover. It makes mention of distracting one’s lover with a kiss, pretending to be upset, returning kisses and bites with twice the effort and even more schemes which are more mischievous than erotic.

This notion rings true even in modern times. The act of lovemaking is seen more as a chore rather than an opportunity to become happy. This is one of the most important things a couple should understand about sex.

Changing this perspective will change the way lovers enjoy each other. They will be more creative and passionate about each other and will be on their toes when it comes to pleasing their lovers.

Health Benefits

As if the acquisition of pleasure is not enough reason to learn about the Kama Sutra, science has also contributed to the forwarding of the idea that sex is good for people.

Surprisingly, a good sex life (which can be obtained through the Kama Sutra) has several health benefits:

Better Sleep

This could be the most immediate and obvious benefit of post-coital sensations. Most couples misunderstand the immediately falling asleep after making love is a sign of insensitivity, which leads to arguments later on.

Fear not, for it is merely a natural reaction to feel exhausted especially after a good session of lovemaking. Take note of how good your mood is when you wake up the following morning after having an intense lovemaking session the night before; notice how you feel more rested and full of energy.

A More Glowing Complexion

Studies have shown that engaging in sex that produces pleasurable orgasms contributes to better skin.

This can be attributed to a rush of blood through the whole body that accompanies arousal as well as penetration. With more blood going through the body, more nutrients and oxygen reaches ones appendages, leading to that mysterious “after-morning glow” in the morning.

Immediate Pain Relief

One very popular excuse to avoid sex is a headache and other forms of bodily pain. Although it is true that going through a migraine or a back ache decreases desire for sex.

However, in the hands of the right man, good lovemaking produces a large amount of endorphins that act as natural painkillers in the body. Studies have shown that having an orgasm has brought relief to those people suffering from headaches and other bodily aches.

This is why coital bliss should be encouraged when either one or both parties are not in the mood. It helps improve the relationship by taking away pain and allows couples to bond despite hardships. The methods designed by the Kama Sutra are aimed to increase arousal and libido, making the convincing easier.

More Antibodies

For those who are not aware, antibodies are micro-organisms in the body that fight against foreign elements that could harm ones’ health. Various forms of research have shown that a regular sexual intercourse on a weekly basis has been associated to higher amounts of antibodies within the body.

A Healthier Heart

Surprisingly, coital bliss has also been associated with good exercise. When done right, both partners can get a good aerobic workout that helps both the lungs and the heart operate better because of elevated breathing patterns as well as higher heartbeat.

More studies have also shown that a healthy dose of regular sex contributes to less risk against strokes and other forms of heart failures. This is why the old envy the young. Better health and a more applicable setting allow them to enjoy sex while they can so that they age more gracefully.

A Better Response to Stress

Instead of hitting the bar or smoking a cigarette whenever you feel stressed, you should just have sex.

When you feel like the weight of all of your problems are going to break you down, your body goes into a state of fight or flight, which puts a lot of strain on your body. This primal instinct no longer has a place in modern society because you cannot simply just run away from your problems, and you cannot meet them with aggression. When you cannot find out how to deal with your problems, your stress levels will increase dramatically, and your body will pay the price for it.

This is where sex comes in. Sex returns the body to a state of homeostasis. There’s no better way to let the body know that everything is alright with a good orgasm.

Less Troublesome Periods

Women tend to decline sex when they are on their monthly period, for the obvious reason that it will be a messy affair to make love while they are in pain and discharging blood.

Although the Kama Sutra has a mixed outlook on this phenomenon, having sex while on a period helps with the menstruation cramps and improves the discharge of blood.

This in turn allows the body to end the period faster so that couples could resume lovemaking on a less messy note.

For those who wish to engage in coital bliss during this perilous time, a towel underneath the couple will make things less messy.

It is also important not to force a woman into making love on her period. Again, coital congress is an act wherein both parties desire each other at that very moment.

Just like the way orgasms counteract headaches and other bodily pains, it also causes a woman’s intimate parts to contract upon climax. Once that is done, the muscles go into a very relaxed state along with the after-burn of coital pleasure.

Lower Risk Against Prostate Cancer

As the saying goes, “If it isn’t used, it goes to waste” is true.

On a surprising note, men produce sperm in preparation for sex in almost any setting when they are aroused; inside and outside the bedroom.

What this means is that there is a stored amount of semen within the males that need to be released through the pleasure of coital congress. Imagine what happens to that stock if it is allowed to stagnate and rot within the body.

This may cause prostate cancer, which ruins both the desire and the organ in the process. The only way to combat this is to relieve oneself of these pent-up collections so that the body can start manufacturing newer, healthier sperm.

Take note that these advantages are nowhere mentioned within the Kama Sutra, they are findings generated by many sexologists and physicians that believe that a healthy sex life leads to a better disposition in life.

Better Performances in the Future

With regular lovemaking, one becomes more adept at pleasing his lover. He knows which actions she likes and which ways to claim her, ensuring the best climaxes.

Not only that, regular coitus also increases libido. This means one will be more attuned with his lover for more frequent escapades of the body. A consistent and satisfying sex life teaches a woman’s body to release natural lubricant during the coital process. This, in turn, increases the pleasure for both parties.

CHAPTER 4

Getting Into The Mood

As mentioned in the earlier chapters, love-making is not just a matter of pressing the right buttons in the bedchamber. It’s a deliberate festivity of pleasure that is introduced by long, passionate actions that build up momentum to maximize enjoyment for both parties.

According to the Kama Sutra, the embrace and the kiss precede the act of coitus. These important acts of affection should litter the path to the bedroom or else the act of sex loses its luster and it finds little difference between two animals prolonging the species.

The Embrace

Based on the Kama Sutra, an embrace can take one of four forms:

Touching

Piercing

Rubbing

Pressing

The first two kinds of embraces are meant for people who aren’t comfortable with each other as explained in the book. Finding each other in an unlikely embrace, falling into each other’s arms and landing into awkward close proximities are samples of the touching and piercing embraces.

According to the book, if both parties bewitch each other during such times, then further merry-making in each other’s company should ensue.

In the case of married couples, an embrace will always carry a certain intention. This point is made clear by the last two kinds of embrace. A rubbing embrace takes place when lovers are in each other’s company and their bodies occasionally bump into each other. Long walks on the beach or strolls in the park are great ways to engage in this embrace. On top of enjoying the scenery, this kind of embrace indicates a more passionate invite for things more passionate and private.

On a more aggressive note, the pressing embrace occurs when one applies a more forceful approach and pins their partner to the wall. Coupled with an intent stare and a long kiss, this embrace usually ends up in the bedroom.

Interestingly, the book mentions that the last two embraces are for those who are already aware of each other and are comfortable in most situations. This, at most times, is a married couple.

It is nice to see how an ancient text can deduce romantic opportunities like this and talk about them as if they were rules for a pleasurable evening. What most people might think of today as unnecessary might just be the thing that is missing in their relationships.

In fact, a survey in 2010 asked women of their experiences with romance. An astonishing 40% said that their husbands or partners were not consistently romantic.

In an age where technology and convenience are now top priorities, even getting into relationships has become easier. People are now losing their interest in long courtships that show eagerness and determination and jump right into things.

The first four embraces mark the start of foreplay. When both parties agree that they like what is taking place and decide to play around a little more, a new number of embraces come into play:

Jataveshtitaka

This is also known as the “twinning of a creeper”. Here, the man is standing as the woman wraps her body around him like the way a vine climbs up a tree. During this period, the man can choose to lowHer his head to her level to engage in more kissing. Being an embrace, it is understood that the arms of the woman also twist around the body of the male similar to a vine.

Vrikshadhirudhaka

Similar to the first mention, this embrace places the woman in another climbing position. Here, she places one of her feet on top of one of the man’s feet and hoists her other thing like an anchor on the man’s waist as if climbing him. She has one around wrapped around her partner’s back while the other arm is hooked around the necl. It’s as if the woman was climbing the man in order to get a kiss from him. This is why this embrace is also called “climbing a tree” in direct translations.

Tila-Tandulaka

This embrace sees both lovers lying down on the bed right before coitus. When both sets of arms are around each other and both sets of thighs overlap each other in an effort to connect as much flesh as possible, then it is playfully called “a mixture of sesame seeds with rice”.

Kshiraniraka

This is also known as “the mixture of milk and water”. Similar to the English translation dictates, this embrace takes place when both parties can no longer stand simple embracing and prepare themselves for sexual unison. This could take place when the woman is seated on the lap of the man or just in front of the male.

From the descriptions mentioned earlier, a simple embrace does more than just bring comfort. Performed in the right hands and under the right circumstances, it can be used as a tool of seduction with wildly successful results.

The Kama Sutra also encourages other forms of embrace, not just the ones mentioned in its pages. No matter what embrace takes place, it is important to ensure that the passion and affection builds with eager anticipation before coital union.

In modern times, embraces are mostly given in platonic situations with no malice at heart. This is probably one of the reasons why hugging is no longer considered sweet and is just a form of affection between friends and not lovers.

It can be said that the book strongly emphasizes the power of physical contact when it comes to amorous matters. It is not just the union of sexual organs that delivers pleasure to both parties. In the right hands and the wildest imagination, a simple embrace could go for endless nights of satisfaction for married couples.

Kissing

What good is an embrace without a kiss? In the discussions about embraces, the Kama Sutra also states that embraces should be accompanied by long kisses to further forward the idea of lovemaking. What could be more forward and honest than a passionate locking of the lips with the sincerest of intentions?

Fortunately, the Kama Sutra doesn’t give a specific order in which embracing and kissing takes place; as long as they happen before the act of lovemaking. “Love does not care for time and order” as the book quotes.

Another interesting point from the book is that it recognizes that couples could tend to kiss or embrace too long, as if taking more pleasure out of these acts than actually making love to each other. Rest assured that the Kama Sutra encourages the passionate consumption of these actions as long as it heightens excitement and pleasure.

When it comes to kissing, couples may choose to do so on the following areas:

Cheeks

Eyes

Forehead

Throat

Chest/Breast

Lips

Inside of the mouth

Besides these areas, the book says kissing in other areas of the body may not be fit for a loving couple.

Despite that, this book encourages kissing other areas than the ones mentioned above. Take note that this is a centuries-old collection of writings that may come with some out-dated notions of hygiene and properness.

Each person has different erogenous zones around their body and they may not always be the most obvious choices during bedtime playtime. One has to put the effort into finding these spots to bring about pleasure for their partners and vice-versa.

Kinds of Kisses

Thankfully, the Kama Sutra discusses various amorous situations wherein kissing could easily turn into coital invitation. Despite being centuries old, these ancient writings are not to be thought of as lacking romantic and flirtatious creativity.

One such an example is known as the “kiss that turns away”. This is when a playful woman distracts her husband from whatever he is doing by touching his face and turning it towards her for a kiss.

There is also a kiss that is done while one partner is sleeping. The other creeps upon their sleeping figure to bury their lips onto the other to wake them in earnest hopes that their longing may be satisfied. This is called “a kiss that kindles love”.

There is also a “demonstrative kiss” wherein the woman playfully places her head on the thigh of her lover as they apply shampoo on each other in the bath to ignite their passions.

From these descriptions, it can be seen that romance isn’t just a dry responsibility that the Kama Sutra demands. It is a playground full of amorous opportunity that only two loving souls can appreciate. It is a deliberate and highly exciting set of labors that ends in mutual bliss.

Biting and Scratching

It is a bit surprising at first to see such mentions within an ancient set of texts, but they’re part of foreplay; especially for those with large amounts of passion.

According to the Kama Sutra, either an angry partner or an intoxicated one can do “pressing with the nails”.

Despite the mention, the book still recognizes the possibility that one’s partner may be unusually passionate (if the conditions are right). Yet it encourages allowing one’s partner to bite (or nibble) to introduce more affection to the lovemaking process.

Another interesting point mentioned is that both parties can actually engage in scratching and not just the females. This means that if the man feels it, he can express his desire in a more aggressive tone; still with care in mind so as not to put his partner out of the mood.

According to the Kama Sutra, the best places to begin rubbing with the nails are:

The throat

The armpit

The thighs

The lips

The chest

Before engaging in playful rubbing of the nails, one must make sure that their nails are glossy and clean as this attracts the attention of fortune and are pleasing to the eye.

Regardless of the size and the length of the nails, it is important to be gentle despite leaving scratch marks on one’s partner. When this is successfully done, it leaves an anxious sensation on the skin which causes the hairs to stand. This heightens the experience which leads to more intimate acts.

On a more interesting note, the Kama Sutra also describes various formations one can make on one’s partner with the curved scratch marks. From half-moons to full circles, one can try experimenting marking their lovers with their nails.

This serves as a reminder for the following days. Some would think of it as a souvenir from a night of lovemaking when partner look lovingly at each other.

It is even quoted in its very scripts that a man who sees a woman with scratch marks is infused with respect for the maiden who appears to be very satisfied with her lover.

Biting

More playfully known as nibbling in today’s society, the art of biting to increase love is not foreign to the ancient Indian man.

As to where to bite, the skies are as clear as the eyes can manage. Any area one can kiss can also be bitten, given the exception of the eyes and inside the mouth.

With a more hygienic note, lovers should remember to keep their teeth well-groomed so as not to cause wounds and infections in their partners.

Biting works the same way as pressing with the nails because both actions express a deeper, more violent sea of passion within the performer. It also leaves a mark on the willing victim to wear as an accessory of love.

The Kama Sutra offers a few suggestions when it comes to nibbling on one’s partner:

The hidden bite

This bite doesn’t leave any teeth marks, but it does leave a reddened portion of the skin.

The swollen bite

When a bite grabs a clump of skin and teeth marks can be seen on both sides of the bite area, it can be called a swollen bite, which could stay that way for a night.

The point

When one’s partner only consumes a small portion of skin with only two teeth in an attempt to pinch instead of bite, this will be a bit more painful than most other bites.

On another note, when multiple points are made along a certain length of skin, it is called a line of points.

The coral and the jewels

With the teeth acting as the jewels and the lips as the coral, a biter may bring these two things closer as they taste their partner in bed.

When biting with all teeth in extreme passion, it can be called a line of jewels that leaves a full set of marks on a lover.

On a cautious note, the Kama Sutra makes mention of being cautious of the nature of one’s partner. Certain actions mentioned in the Kama Sutra may not be acceptable to their personal standards depending where they hail from and on their upbringing.

The same caution should be taken in the modern world. With even more demeanors and temperaments to trifle with, even the most earnest of gestures can easily be misunderstood and could ruin what was supposed to be a night of pleasure. Some partners are happy with pressing the nails and biting while others may find the practice unusual and painful.

The only way to find out if one’s partner is attuned in these means is of course, through intelligent discourse. Only a learned man in the arts of conversation is capable of introducing such sensitive topics with the confidence of a sultan.

The Golden Rule

It so states in the Kama Sutra that if a man does anything to a woman in hopes to bring her pleasure, the woman should return the favor to begin a cycle of playfulness that ends in bliss for both parties.

In fact, the Kama Sutra encourages returning these acts with twice as much fervor. This means you should return a bit multiple times and a kiss should be returned with even more aggression. A simple embrace should be rewarded with more force.

It goes without saying that an amorous escalation takes place when this rule is followed. When done right, both parties will be in a state of excitement to consume each other in coital bliss.

CHAPTER 5

Matters Of Size And
Of Passion

The Kama Sutra allocates a whole chapter and significant discussion on the estate of certain appendages and vessels within men and woman respectively. This is not to be confused with the size of a person. These comparisons are of the private parts that are involved in coital congress.

For Men

Depending on the size, men could be classified as a hare, bull or a horse. These correspond to smallest to largest respectively. Very little research has been made into why a horse has been deemed to represent a larger girth compared to a bull.

For Women

Females find themselves in a similar categorization according to the depth of their “yoni” or vagina. Small, tight females are considered as deer, followed by mare and finally ending in a female elephant. This categorization is easier to follow as these beasts follow the same suit when it comes to discussions of size.

Pairings

Fortunately, the Kama Sutra does not forbid pairings of dissimilar size but classifies them as unequal, which raises the possibility of one party gaining more satisfaction over the other. Despite that, the book also speaks about a reversal of roles, which will be discussed in a later chapter.

When a man of a particular size engages in coital congress with a woman who is behind them in size, this is considered as a high union. When a woman of a greater depth engages with a man behind her in terms of size, this is called a low union.

When extremes meet, it is called the highest union if the male greatly exceeds the female in size. The lowest union happens when a man of the smallest girth engages with a woman of the greatest depth.

Understanding these differences will help lovers find better ways of satisfying one another. In a high union, the male has to be careful with his lover because he could end up hurting her during lovemaking despite him experiencing pleasure.

It could also happen the other way around. A man of small stature may not be able to satisfy his deep lover due to her build. Both parties end up feeling disappointed after sex.

Differences in Passion

The Kama Sutra doesn’t just categorize according to size. It does the same with desire. Fortunately, it classifies three levels of desire: small, middling and intense.

This imparts a more intimate discussion on how one can quantify desire. How does one tell how passionate they are at the moment? How do they communicate this to their partner?

As a couple, the responsibility lies on both ends to understand how their partner feels. When desire is equal, both parties help each other to climax and heightened pleasure.

If one has greater desire over the other, one has to help increase the desire of the other using the various techniques already described within this manual. Proper communication and concern for the other party plays a great part in sexual congress. Awareness of one’s partner is a sign of great affection and should only increase desire once one notices these gestures.

The Importance of Control

It was mentioned earlier in this manual that control takes precedence over the acquisition of pleasure. Men are not entitled to the same wanton restraint that beasts practice.

On the other hand, a good question arises from this discussion: how much coital congress is bad for a couple?

This is not answered by a simple number. It can be said that different men have different build and desires (which will be discussed in another chapter of this book). This means the amount of sex that they can handle varies on these things.

It also varies on the level of desire of their woman partners. It also depends on the quality of their lovemaking. Are both parties equally satisfied at the end of intimate congress? Or is one left wanting more as the other slumbers?

One thing men should ask themselves is that if they are capable of pleasing their woman whenever the engage in lovemaking. One sign of poor lovemaking skills is when one demands in and the other simply gives in as a chore.

Should only one party be wanting to make love all the time, then this may be a sign of other psychological problems such as chronic stress and an unhappy marriage.

How to Tell if its Too Much

Fortunately, it is simple to determine if one is becoming no different from a beast. Simply ask the question “Is sex governing my life now?”.

When all a man can think about is sex, that’s when it becomes destructive. The Kama Sutra talks about how a man should first attend to his estate, his friends and then his lover during the night.

If coital pleasure is present in the mind throughout the day, it could be distracting and cause more problems such as loss of concentration, more stress and even ruined friendships.

However, as long as couples thoroughly enjoy each other, and they are both equally satisfied after coitus, then one has fulfilled his duties to the Kama Sutra well.

CHAPTER 6

The Good Stuff

Once ample flirting and intelligent discussions have taken their course, lovers may choose to leave their worries behind and reach passionate pleasure with each other through sex. This chapter provides innovative designs that couples may try to add more pleasure to their nightly bonding.

The Cat

In this position, the female lays on her back, ideally with a pillow to support the back of her neck. Her legs are slightly ajar in this case and outstretched instead of bent. She may use her bent elbows as an anchor for support.

The male joins atop the female with his legs together to fit in the gap between her legs. He may use his arms to cradle the back of the woman or use them as supports to keep himself on top of her.

The Mermaid

The male lies on his back, ready to do some lifting with his partner. With his legs bent and spread apart, he acts as a makeshift cradle for his lover.

On the other hand, the woman sits atop this cradle with her back facing the man. Her legs are either kept together or spread depending on their difference in size. She keeps her legs raised into the air as she is supported by the man beneath her.

The Shuttle

Here, the man lies on his back as he serves as a cushion for the woman who lies above him. Instead of spreading his legs, he keeps his legs slightly apart only to entertain one leg from his partner.

The female then faces her partner and cradles her crotch on one of the outstretched legs of her lover. This position allows for eye-to-eye contact and kissing during lovemaking.

The Clapper

Here, neither party lays on the bed. The female begins in a modified fetal position with the fronts of her shins laying on the bed, exposing her womanhood from behind.

The male joins his lover with his legs wide apart, with his stomach facing the sky. He may use his hands a support for his weight as he pleases his lover. The woman may either keep her back arched as she is being pleased or she may arch inward so that she faces the sky instead of the bed.

The Aquarius

Here, the man takes the woman by the waist and claims her as he is standing on his knees. With his legs together, he pleases his lover as he holds her lower half higher than her back.

Here, the woman lays on her back, appreciating her lover and his efforts from the surface of the bed. She may use her hands to support her back or hold hands with her lover as they engage in congress

The Candle

As the name implies, both lovers come into the shape of a candle with the tops aflame with passion for each other. The male stands behind his lover as he claims her from between her buttocks. His hands are free to satisfy her other parts such as her navel or breasts or neck. He also has the option of kissing the neck or using his hands to guide his lover’s face to his for kisses.

The female stands in front as she enjoys her man. She may use her hands to caress from the back as well as cling to his sides.

The Boat

The female acts as a base in this position. With her legs wide apart but not bent, she lays on her stomach while she keeps her back arched.

Her lover claims her from behind, slowly claiming her as he faces the back of her neck. Here, he can choose to kiss her neck or guide her face towards his. He may use his arms as support or he can use them to satisfy her other parts.

The Spoon

With both lovers laying on their sides, the man pleases his lover from behind, entering her through her closed thighs. With both arms free, he may choose to touch her sensitive areas or hold her from the back.

The female enjoys her lover as she faces away. She may also choose to face her lover as he tends to her satisfaction. This is an ideal position if the woman is pregnant as it does not place her in any compromising situation.

The Tulip

As the lovers face each other, the man lies on his back as he serves as a cradle for his woman. With his legs apart, he welcomes her weight onto him as he pleases her.

On the other hand, the woman lies atop her lover with her legs together, making for a tighter union that brings more pleasure to the male. With both sets of hands free, the lovers may choose to caress and rub each other to heighten pleasure.

The Swing

Here, the woman sits atop her lover with her back facing him. She sits like a queen on her throne with her legs crossed. Similar to the earlier position, this also makes for a tighter congress and is ideal for unequal levels of lovers.

Here, the man makes use of his arms and hands to act as support for the weight of his lover as she sits. The woman may choose to press her hands onto her lovers’ chest or the bed behind him for support.

On another note, instead of the usual piston motion, the male can rock his lover forward to back as if on a wing, changing the dynamics of the lovemaking.

The Storm

With the woman lying on her back, she raises one knee by bending to create a tunnel through which her lover may squeeze. With the man’s torso aligned with his lover’s crotch, he may please her while her lifted leg pins him in place.

In such a position, the complete upper sections of both parties are free to add more variety to the lovemaking.

The Waterfalls

This position is close to the Aquarius position mentioned earlier in this chapter where the woman arches her back as her torso is elevated. This is where the male stands on his knees on the bend as he tends to his lover’s pleasure.

However in this position, the woman takes a more avant-garde posture by positioning her palms on the bed so that her fingers point towards her lover. This is known as a bridge stand in physical education. The female performs this as she is anchored by her lover.

The Binding

Interestingly, this position has become quite the favorite in pornographic settings due to the amount of exposure this position brings. Here, the couple engages a spooning position wherein both parties lie on the bed while the male claims his lover from behind.

In this particular position, the female raises her leg closest to the ceiling to allow for a better congress. Here, the man can choose to hold his lover’s leg up with his hand or use them to pleasure the other areas of his willing partner.

The Riding

With the man lying on the bed, he serves as the ride for his lover. On the other hand, the woman squats atop the man, exposing herself and their union to him.

In this setting, the male has both hands free to support his lover as she is in an unusual position. His goal here is to keep her balanced as she dictates the tempo of the congress.

From the same position, the woman uses her legs to either push her up and down or rock her back and forth on top of her lover.

It is also to be noted that both lovers should be facing each other in this position and should make the most of this exposure through kissing and other forms of flirting.

The Fire

Speaking with a more aggressive tone, the lovers engage in a standing position. This usually takes place at the onset of sexual congress as lovers begin to explore each other’s bodies.

Here, the woman faces her man as she stands up and lifts her thigh so that it rests on the waist of her lover. In that position, the male takes hold of this thigh and ensures that it is clasped to his side as he pleasures his partner.

With one hand free, the man may choose to cradle the back of his woman or use it to please her breasts. He may also use his arms to bring the face of his lover closer to him for a kiss.

The Slave and Master

Here, the woman takes a crouching position on the bed, preparing herself to be claimed. She faces the bed and arches her back as she gets ready.

She then stretches one leg backwards to expose her crotch to her lover, who claims her from behind. Here, the man’s hands are free and they may be used to grab the waist of the woman or caress her back as he pleasures her.

The woman may also choose to plant her hands into the bedsheets or to push herself upward.

On a more aggressive note, the male may also take his lover’s arms and fasten them to her back completing the image of a slave being claimed by her master. Although this position asserts dominance, a little aggression may be a welcome change in stagnant relationships.

The Casket

With the male kneeling on one knee, he will act as a pillar on which his lover will hang her legs.

The woman joins her lover in a unique position; with her ankles upon her lover’s shoulders. One ankle each shoulder in that case. She then uses her arms to prop herself up as she is being pleasured by her lover.

Ancient Wisdom and Modern Creativity

This section takes the sexual knowledge of the ancient texts and imbues a modern twist to give couples a better appreciation of their quality time.

The Dangling

Instead of resorting to the bedroom, a couple may choose a higher surface such as a table or a counter top. Be sure to use a blanket or a towel to keep matters clean.

The female bends over the table with her behind exposed to her lover. In this position, she is pleasured from behind as she lays flat on the table with her legs dangling off the edge.

In this template, the woman is rendered immobile because she has no anchor on which to place her feet as she is pleasured. She becomes a complete receptor of pleasure as her lover does as he pleases.

Beyond the Border

This position requires the use of a chair or a couch or anything comfortable on which to sit. Here, the male takes the seat and allows his lover to sit on his lap. This is where the romance begins.

Once congress starts, the female spreads her legs for him to pleasure her as he faces her while her feet are flat on the surface behind the man.

Once penetration is secured and the couple has found a comfortable rhythm, the male may guide his lover to rest her back on his thighs. Although the thighs may not cover the whole back, it is alright as long as the man supports his lover by holding on to her forearms or hands as she leans back.

In this position, both lovers have a good angle on their union and can see each other directly as they pleasure each other.

The Locked Candle

Also a standing position like the Candle, this variation has the lovers facing each other as they stand.

Here, the male must raise his leg on a stool or chair to keep his thigh up for his lover to sit on.

From there, the woman will wrap her legs around her lover and enjoy him as he lifts her up and tends to her needs.

In some cases, couples may not need to use a stool or chair if the male is strong enough to carry his own lover. This may be the case in higher unions.

The Intimate Spoon

This is a permutation of the earlier-mentioned spoon position which allows for more options during coitus.

From a spoon position, the male may guide his lover to rotate to a certain angle that will end in his lover lying on her back with their legs alternating each other. This will show as the woman with one leg over the man’s thigh while he is still within her.

With the woman and man perpendicular to each other, they may engage in kissing or fondling or any other of the arts mentioned in this manual as they are no longer in a spoon.

The Strong Lotus

Going back to the bed, lovers may need a little more endurance than normal to perform this erotic template.

With the man standing on his knees on the bed, he bends his legs to act as a cushion for his lover’s bottom. Here, the woman places herself on his thighs and for him to tend to her. She keeps her legs outstretched as she sits on his thighs.

The thighs will not provide enough support for the woman though, and she should wrap her arms around her lover’s neck and the man should support his lover’s back with his hands to keep her in place.

Interestingly, this template can also be done in a standing position should the male be of ample physical aptitude.

The Mantis

This is another position meant for the bed. Here, the man lies on his back as he faces his lover who is right on top of him. The woman rests her breasts upon his face as her arms and elbows act as support on the bed next to the man’s shoulders.

With both legs bent, the man lifts his torso to pleasure his lover who has her legs bent backwards. Here, the man may use his arms to hold onto her ankles or feet to keep them bent and he pleasures her.

Here, lovers are in each other’s faces and may kiss or the male may nibble on his lover’s breasts as he pleasures her. All the woman has to focus on is to keep her elbows anchored to the bed to keep her upright.

The Stargazer

Here, the male lies on his back while his lover is on top of him with her back facing him. This is more popularly known as the “reverse cowgirl” position.

From this point, the male must guide his lover’s back as she leans backwards so that her back touches his chest. This must not be done abruptly, especially if the lovers are already joined.

Once the back of the woman meets the chest of the male, both lovers now face the sky that brings the name of the template.

Given this position, both pairs of arms are free to explore each other. The additional skin contact will prove to be pleasurable for both lovers as they enjoy coital congress.

The Reversal of Roles

Whenever coital congress takes place, the male has to do all of the heavy lifting and much of the work in order to bring satisfaction to both parties. This may entail a certain disadvantage.

Because of the toll of physical effort, the male may become of little desire and climax earlier than expected, causing a disappointment in his lover.

In these cases, the Kama Sutra advises that when a woman starts to notice that her lover is beginning to get tired or when exhaustion is upon him, she should take it upon herself to reverse their roles and become the actor.

This is especially true once the male is successful in fully satisfying his lover in the bedchamber. Once the female is happy, she will be in a better temperament to see to the completion of her lover’s pleasure.

CHAPTER 7

Once The Climax Subsides

As one may have guessed, all good things must come to an end. The same thing can be said about coital congress and the pleasures that it brings.

Plenty of couples make the mistake of just leaving things as they are or simply going to bed once this occurs. The Kama Sutra offers wisdom on how to end things right.

According to the scriptures, lovers end on a silent note and savor the moment that they have shared. This is a solemn thanksgiving for the opportunity to obtain pleasure in the company of each other.

Once the moment transpires, the lovers part from the bedchamber and proceed to cleaning themselves in separate chambers. When the cleaning commences, it can be deduced that the coital congress has ended and that both parties may rejoin society as separate beings.

Besides going their separate ways, the Kama Sutra also makes mention of the possibility of further discussion between lovers; especially if they are already married. Modern couples stand to gain a few interesting insights from these practices.

Modern Post-Coital Practices

Although separate bathrooms and betel leaves may be scarce and unnecessary in today’s society, what transpires after lovemaking is just as important as the lovemaking itself.

Cuddling/Snuggling

Although not directly mentioned as a suggestion by the Kama Sutra, it can be deduced that lovers would like to spend the rest of the night in the arms of one another even if they are both done with congress.

It is also possible for them to fall asleep in deep embrace from exhaustion. The most important thing to note here is to maintain closeness even if the heat of the moment has already passed. This shows sincerity without the malice of lust and makes an ideal gesture to make for married couples.

Discussions

As mentioned earlier, another good idea for couples is to talk after coitus. With the need for pleasure already satiated, one would now have a clear mind and a broader perspective on various things.

The same principle still holds true in modern society. Couples are encouraged to speak to each other and continue to bond even after lovemaking.

As for what to talk about, you can choose from a myriad of choice, like the previous subject of discussion before coitus, each other’s performance in the bedchambers or anything that comes into mind. What’s important is that both parties show their partner that they still recognize their presence despite having claimed their bodies earlier.

Bathing Together

Although the Kama Sutra talks about separate baths after coitus, it is more enjoyable for couples to also share more intimate time in a bath. With coitus out of the way, lovers can now focus on cleaning one another and appreciate each other’s company.

Consumption of Drink and Food

Since coitus is a form of great effort, it is safe to assume that one or both parties would feel the need for food and refreshment after sexual bliss. The Kama Sutra does not speak against this because the consumption of a well-earned meal is another way to obtain pleasure.

For modern couples, grabbing bites to eat together or preparing a meal together after sex is a good way to continue bonding. It gives the couple in a rewarding activity that strengthens their relationship.

Bad Post-Coital Practices

Despite openly loving each other and being comfortable with each other, couples may tend to engage in habits that could damage their relationship. This goes against the teachings of the Kama Sutra. Just as deliberate and detailed pre-coital and coital designs are, post-coital practices should still be managed in order to make the most out of such a phenomenon.

Immediate Washing

In some cases, only one party desires to use the bathroom right away. Whether it be the woman or man, it leaves the other party out and gives them the impression that one is disgusted with them.

Instead of rushing to the washroom alone, take the time to ask one’s partner if they would like to come along. This simple act of intimacy will save time, water and even a relationship in some cases.

Unwanted Distractions

Leaving one’s mobile phone on and even checking it right after coitus is a good way to show one’s partner that they were not pleasurable at all during coitus. It shows a non-personal approach to something that should have been deeply personal.

Smartphones are not the only sources of distraction; papers from work, laptops, gaming devices, mp3 players and worse, wallets could serve as distractions.

Do not just simply reach for anything once coitus is over. On the other hand, should one reach for water after congress, it is only polite to fetch a second glass for one’s partner as well. It takes the effort of two people to make coitus such a pleasurable experience. Both parties will definitely be thirsty, sometimes they can be hungry too.

Falling Asleep Right Away

Although it has been mentioned that coitus can bring about a good night’s sleep, that’s not reason enough to immediately slumber off once the climax subsides. That is just the same as dismissing one’s partner once the act is done. It becomes cold and unromantic.

Should one feel sleepy after coitus, it is only right to take a few moments to ask one’s partner if they would already like to call it a night and go to sleep together. They deserve that at the very least.

Giving Tips Right After

This specially rings true for couples that will engage for the first time. Once coitus ends, there could be a number of things both parties wished could have been done better or not done at all.

As tempting as it may sound to talk about these things right after congress, it is best to keep them for a later date and time.

This is because immediately pointing out someone’s flaws right after a supposedly pleasurable experience does not promote pleasure at all. It makes one feel threatened and scrutinized.

Despite the fact that there might be improvements, the best time to talk about them would be outside the bedroom in preparation for the next congress. Just as the saying goes, there is a right time for everything.

Even the Kama Sutra itself does not encourage men or women discussing wrong moves or giving advice right after as it does not foster affection and care for one’s lover.

Dressing Up Immediately

As surprising as it may sound, scrambling for one’s clothing right after bliss may not send the right impressions to one’s partner.

It could mean one might still be insecure with one’s naked body or in a rush to get away and resume doing something else. It may seem that one is anxious to be over with the unison.

Take note that coital bliss is a deeply personal experience that requires the full participation of both mind and body to be truly pleasurable. When one cannot wait to put on their clothes after coitus, they may not be as passionate as their partner.

In general, there is nothing more damaging to passion than to see one person not sharing as much of it as the other. Anything that gives off such an impression is rude and informal after such an intimate affair.

Keep in mind that the Kama Sutra dictates that both parties should be pleased at the by congress and not hurt or confused by sudden changes in mood or behavior right after it ceases.

CHAPTER 8

The Practice Of Safe Coitus

Despite the Kama Sutra being a treatise on the acquisition of pleasure, safety should always be a priority in the bedroom. This should be the case before and after coital congress.

The routine usage of condoms and contraceptives are always welcome advice; being able to provide protection from unwanted pregnancies and STDs (sexually transmitted diseases).

Due to the lack of scientific knowledge during ancient Hindu times, information and even the prevalence of such diseases were non-existent.

In today’s society, new types of unions and practices have given rise to a completely new array of problems that could stem from coitus. This is the reason why these ancient practices should be practiced with some modern precautions.

Fractures

Most couples forget their resistances when the strong desires kick in. Thrusts become too strong and strokes bear much force. This could cause fractures in unwanted places.

This is especially true for positions that place the woman on top of the man. The weight of the woman upon the length of her lover has been known to cause penile fractures in several cases. In fact, this position has been deemed as the most dangerous position if care is not taken.

Take note that the male organ has no supporting bones. A question that might follow this statement is how does this organ get fractures if it doesn’t have bones?

What happens is that the body allows an increase amount of blood flow to a certain ligament in times of arousal. Once reaching this state, the blood flow is constricted with tightened blood vessels. This is how the organ stays erect throughout the affair. Ligaments are special types of muscle tissues that can harden and contract depending on the situation.

When erect, this ligament also sustains a hardened and contracted state that allows it to meet with a woman. If, however, it encounters enough resistance, it breaks easier than bone. It becomes ripped and torn, causing severe pain the morning after and inability to become erect again.

If the female is on top of the man, more than half her body weight is shouldered on his waist. A misguided angle of entry could fracture the penis by causing it to bend unnaturally to allow entry.

Take note that it’s not just a matter of being careful. It also takes some intimate knowledge about one’s partner. This is because women have a slightly different location of their pubic bone. When coitus is done at a wrong angle, the male organ might go against this bone, causing fracture.

Tearing

This pertains to the forceful ripping apart of the sensitive tissues in the intimate regions of a woman. The absence of care could be just as damaging to females as it is to males.

In positions that allow for a wide angle of entry, finding a wrong angle becomes quite easy. Take note that not every woman has complete muscle control over this region so it will be quite difficult for one’s female lover to immediately adjust to the wrong angle of entry.

Should this occur more than necessary, this could end in the sensitive tissues within the vagina to rip apart, causing bleeding, scarring and infections. It also makes coital escapades more painful and undesirable in the future.

Such positions are the missionary and the popularly-known “doggy” style and the various permutations of these basic templates.

This is the reason why the Kama Sutra classifies lovers based on the amount of their desire and the sizes of their organs. It is not to discriminate but to instill care for high and low unions that could result in unwanted injuries.

Pink Eye

This condition is also known as conjunctivitis and pertains to the swelling and redness around the eye brought about by the presence of viruses or bacteria in the area.

These foreign elements may find their way into someone’s eyes during oral sex that, interestingly, is as bad practice by the Kama Sutra between lovers.

Accidental ejaculations in the eyes or natural lubricants dripping into the eyes are some instances that could one to get pink eye. Although the condition is treatable with the right antibiotics, the discomfort and shame brought by this condition is not something to be taken lightly.

Poor Lubrication

In the right conditions and moods, the female body releases natural lubricants that allow the male to please her without causing her pain, which is also one of the reasons why the crime of rape is a painful ordeal.

However, lovers may also undergo a lack of lubrication in the poorest of conditions and hands. One lover might be more eager than the other. One might skip foreplay due to pent up desire. One may not have aroused their partner enough for them to prepare for coitus.

When these things happen, the union becomes a painful one because it will be dry skin rubbing against dry skin. When this occurs, skin abrasions are most likely to form and could cause infections and even more discomfort along the way.

This is why it is the job of couples to understand each other’s bodies and how they want it to be treated. The art of “pushing the right buttons” comes into mind. As long as the woman is in a proper state of arousal and desire, her body will follow suit and will lubricate itself.

In cases wherein she finds it difficult to do so, it is best to use artificial lubricants that are available from many convenience stores and pharmacies. Be sure to pick something that is non-toxic and hypo-allergenic to be as safe as possible.

Unusual Locations

Despite what most people see at the movies and pornography, coitus may be enjoyable in nonconventional areas but it does have its risks.

Primarily, most surfaces may not be completely sanitized for the intimate areas. Such an example is the counter top or the kitchen table or the back seat of the car or the garage.

Should one want to engage in this practice, a towel or sheet should be used to cover the area of interest before having sex.

The Practices of a Smart Couple

They Communicate

They don’t just talk to each other outside the bedroom. They also talk to each other during coitus. As un-masochistic as it sounds, couples that communicate during congress are in less risk of hurting one another.

It’s not a question about what to talk about; there is only one thing to talk about during sex. It doesn’t hurt the mood at all to ask if one’s partner is ok or if something is hurting them. In fact, ensuring the safety of one’s partner during this intimate time serves as a great bonding mechanism that brings two people closer to each other. By talking to one’s partner, one would know what bad angles of entry they have and what practices turn them on. It makes them a better lover in the process.

Couples should also talk about birth control and the measures they’re comfortable using. Not every man will be happy with a vasectomy just as not every woman will be happy with a condom. Taking the time to know these things will bring about more pleasure from coitus in the future.

They Spoon

This position is one of the safest positions in the spectrum; it’s even recommended for pregnant women. This is because this position places no strain on either party. The close-legged nature of the female in this template allows for a comfortable point of entry without meeting much resistance.

It is also a great position for cuddling after congress should the couple want to spend a few more moments in each other’s company as they bask in the after-burns of climax.

They Do Things Slowly

Pleasure should not follow the same fast-paced lifestyle many people keep up with today. As mentioned earlier, the process of coitus is a deliberate and intentional act that takes time to ease into and time to enjoy. Nothing is rushed.

When things are rushed, lovers may not be ready for congress and could end up scarring each other. When things are taken to quickly, men could end up with torn ligaments.

No matter how strong a desire is, it is important to show restraint when it comes to pleasing one’s partner. As the Kama Sutra dictates, the man is the actor and the woman being the one acted upon. There is no better demonstration of control than taking things slowly instead of jumping right into things.

Conclusion

Whether it be by kissing, embracing or through the various acts of lovemaking described in this book, there should be an increase in desire from either party. It is important to remember that although synonymous to sex, the Kama Sutra is also known as a treatise on love.

Therefore, affection should always precede desire. This is what leads to lasting and enjoyed relationships that endure the test of time. In fact, it is from affection that desire springs anew.

Couples who have fallen out of love are simply those who haven’t discovered new ways to enjoy life with their partners. What could be an unsolvable marriage crisis could merely be just a lack of playfulness.

And the Kama Sutra is naught for lacking in this regard. Many flirtatious situations have been described in those ancient writings and have fortunately been translated well into English for those who wish to add more spice to things.

Dirty Talk

Talk Dirty to Get in the Mood for Love

Introduction

Talk is cheap. Or so we’ve been brought up to think. When it comes to sex, we’ve been programmed to believe that it all boils down to action. However, the most experienced lovers understand that a single word can have the power of a thousand caresses.

Lagnolalia pertains to the discussion of topics that are sexual in nature. It is the act of making use of vivid word imagery to increase pleasure before and during a sexual act. However, contrary to what some might think, dirty talking doesn’t always have to be an outpouring of the filthiest, most degrading phrases. Unless, of course, the latter turns you on. Simply put, when it comes to dirty talk, there are no specific definitions, rules, and boundaries. In fact, its beauty lies in its lack of limits.

The lexicon of lust may comprise of rude words, reverential words, or no words at all. Dirty talk can be anything and everything from a sigh to a syllable to a stream of hot obscenities. It is the intense erotic descriptions from a poet’s lips, the powerful command from a dominant, the vow of obedience from a submissive, the guttural growl of a lover blinded with animal lust. Moreover, dirty talk doesn’t always have to be spoken. It can be murmured into a paramour’s ear, spoken over the phone, or scribbled as a short, sexy note.

While dirty talk is an age-old form of foreplay, it can also take place during or after intercourse. What you say throughout and after the deed is just as important. As a single hot word can send your lover to a mind-blowing climax, a word can also be used to caress his/her delicate ego as he/she descends from the peak. When used after lovemaking, dirty talk can have the effect of the sweetest cuddle or a shower of grateful kisses. This means dirty talk is not just about revving up lust. It can also be considered as one of the boldest and ironically, the warmest, most tender expressions of love and affection. When used to boost your lover’s confidence in bed, dirty talk can bring out his/her freest, most passionate side. Thus, apart from inevitably increasing the quality of your lovemaking, it can transcend sex from a primal act of pleasure to an enlightening journey of self-discovery.

Like sex, the language of lust is subjective. What may offend some may drive others mad with desire. It’s for this reason why merely memorizing a list of freaky words is not enough. Apart from knowing what to say, knowing when and how to speak them is just as vital. The look in your eyes, the tone of your voice, your facial expression, and the posture of your body are all essential in shaping the meaning behind each word. Along with the context, all these factors influence how your partner will perceive and respond to your steamy sexpressions. These elements all conspire to determine the sincerity and the weight of passion contained in your verbal declarations of desire. Needless to say, dirty talking is an art. In order to be effective, it necessitates both study and practice. Fortunately for you, this is what this book is all about.

So, are you ready to be fluent in the dialect of desire? Read on to find out how.

Chapter 1

The Psychology Behind The Language Of Lust

Perhaps the greatest appeal of dirty talk still lies on the idea that it’s taboo. You’re probably thinking: Taboo? You’re kidding! We live in enlightened times… And yet even though we’ve emerged from the dark ages, the reality remains that sex is continuously censured. The human mind has been pre-programmed to perceive sex as a sensitive act, which is only done and spoken of behind closed doors. This is something that we won’t be able to get rid of that easily. And so, despite our liberated front and our over-sexed culture, despite the accessibility of pornographic materials, even talking or reading about sex is still enough to bring about a little tingle of excitement or stir a secret shame within.

From the time we were kids, we were taught by our parents that saying bad words is well… bad. But now we’re adults and somehow, breaking that rule with one’s partner while in bed feels oh-so-good. It’s like saying: “Fuck yes! I’m a grown man/woman and I’m owning it. I can say whatever I want to and no one’s going to stop me or shame me for it.” Sadly, not all adults are as free. Some are still subconsciously bound by the same old rules. And so they strive to be good girls and boys even in bed. It’s not to say that they’re immature. Rather, it may be that the shackles of societal conventions bind them too heavily. But that’s all part of the fun in dirty talking! The fact that you get to say what you can’t in front of others makes the lovemaking more intimate, rawer and more real. The moment that bedroom door closes and the first nasty word pass your lips, that’s the time you really strip in front of your lover.

In some ways, voicing out all the freaky things that’s on your mind is more revealing than taking your clothes off. After all, in the latter, you only bare your body while in the former, you bare your soul.

Sex is first conceived in the brain. In fact, 80% of the sex we have in our lifetimes occur inside our heads. These comprise of the carnal memories, the buildup of desire, and the conscious and subconscious fantasies. These are the driving forces that influence all things that we do during the actual intimate act. By the time you slip into the sheets, your brain has been leading up to the erotic encounter. In other words, even before you start getting down and dirty with your lover, your mind has already fondled and fucked him/her a thousand times over.

Perhaps you’ve already read somewhere that the brain is the largest, most powerful sex organ that men and women commonly share. After all, the brain has a boundless reserve of sensual stimuli and it’s where the sex drive originates. Each time you moan, scream, or whisper something into your lover’s ear, his/her brain’s hearing center processes it. It is also processed by the temporal, frontal, and occipital lobes. So, while this important sexual organ may not be touched physically, dirty talk before and during sex allows you to lick, caress, and fuck various parts of your lover’s brain all at one time and all while you’re pleasuring your partner’s body.

Dirty words are, in a way, the quickest, surest way to
fuck your lover’s brains out.

True enough, the correct amount and type of carnal convo can titillate your lover’s mind. Yep, you read that right. There is such thing is the correct type and amount dirty talk. That’s because women’s and men’s brains are wired differently. There’s a huge difference in how male and female limbic systems work in the brain.

Scientific research reveals that the preoptic area, that is, the section of the hypothalamus which is concerned with mating behavior, is twice as large in males in comparison to females. Moreover, it is made up of twice more cells. In other words, the male gender has a larger hypothalamus. So what does this mean? Since testosterone production is triggered by the gonadotropin-releasing hormone from the hypothalamus, this means that men have higher levels of circulating male sex hormone. This consequently triggers their desire for sex. Conversely, in the case of the female, which has a smaller hypothalamus, the testosterone, and thus, the sex drive, is not nearly as high in comparison.

Women link romance with emotions while men link romance with sexual affirmation. While sex for a man is about confirming his vitality and his manhood, sex for a woman is about reassurance that she is attractive, accepted, and adored. Therefore, if you’re a woman, a surefire way to bring your man to the brink of desire is to use dirty words that praise his manhood. Simply put, if you worship his cock, you worship him. Conversely, if you’re a man, a guaranteed way to get your woman in the mood for love is to compliment her body. In other words, make her feel like a goddess and she will indeed perform like a goddess in bed.

Dirty talk works by giving your partner exactly what
he/she needs.

Per research, a lot of women who hold dominant positions in their careers prefer playing a more submissive role in the sheets. The woman may be the boss in the workplace. She may be the one giving all the orders. But in bed, in order to get excited, she needs to feel something that she doesn’t get to feel in her everyday life: She needs to feel that she’s vulnerable. When you command her in a dominant tone, this stimulates the amygdala aka the fear center of her brain. This snatches the control away from her hands and that’s what makes it exciting for her. More importantly, you’re lifting the weight of the responsibility off her shoulders. This allows her to just let go. Because for once, it’s not her duty to be in control of everything.

In the heat of passion, it’s easy to just focus on oneself and forget what the other is feeling. This is why a lot of lovers make the mistake of neglecting their partner’s needs at a crucial moment in lovemaking. Dirty dialogue during sex enables us to be more open to our partner’s immediate needs and desires so we can take care of those needs. To put things more plainly, dirty talk allows us to become more sensitive, more generous lovers.

At the same time, dirty talking during sex permits us to voice out our own wants and desires without sounding too selfish or too demanding.

Many self-help books on the topic of sex will urge you to maintain open lines of communication in bed. They’ll tell you to be honest and informative and respectful. This way, you and your partner can both give each other what you want and need. However, what they fail to mention is that there is an art to it.

There are also some sex guidebooks that will tell you to just zip it. They’ll advise you to minimize talk during intercourse because this can distract your lover and possibly kill the mood.

So, which of these books are preaching the truth? Here’s a secret: Both are. While feedback is necessary for great sex, any words that come out of your lips can distract your and your lover’s thoughts from the moment. Moreover, any spoken words during sex can easily be misunderstood.

Look at the example below:

“Honey, please don’t come before I do.”

Politely put? Yes.

Honest? Surely.

Instructive? Definitely.

Sexy? Not quite.

Distracting? Very.

In fact, such a statement may end up embarrassing your lover. So instead of being helpful, instead of improving the quality of lovemaking, you end up making your partner feel that he’s selfish, or inadequate, or that his lovemaking style sucks. Moreover, such a statement will only reveal that you’re nowhere close to achieving orgasm. While this may be true, this is not necessarily something that your lover should hear while he’s figuratively (and literally) busting his balls trying to make you come.

Here you will realize that while dirty talk may be labeled by some as offensive, it is in fact, the most non-offensive way of communicating your wants and needs to your partner. Just take a look at this “filthified” version below:

“Oooh… That feels so good, hon. Keep doing that and I’m gonna come so hard!”

See? The thing about dirty talk is that it is completely congruent with your dirty deed. Thus, it allows you to instruct without having to distract. It enables you to honestly reveal that you’re not yet close to climax without making your lover feel like a loser. Instead, it encourages your partner to perform better so he/she can reap the immeasurably gratifying reward of making you come… so hard.

Dirty talk allows you and your partner to be true to yourselves and to know each other in the most intimate sense of the word.

In daily life, there’s this constant pressure to conform to society’s standards. There are only certain things you can say. There are only certain things you can do. Dirty talk allows you and your lover to tap into your more primal, more creative natures. In other words, it brings out the animal within, all without fear or shame or guilt. This pertains to the wild and sensual part of ourselves, which is oft lost, oft forgotten, and oft allowed to wither and die. This part is frequently suppressed by our fear of being judged, of being called a freak, or of losing our partner’s love. However, lovemaking will never be so great until both your inner beasts can face and embrace each other without anxiety and without embarrassment. When you and your partner can see through each other and accept what you see within, only then can you truly call yourselves intimate lovers. Only then can you truly call someone the mate of your soul.

You can stand naked in front of anyone. You can kiss, caress, and make love to anyone. But to allow someone to peek at your thoughts while you’re in a most vulnerable state? That entails trust. That entails a special kind of love.

If you’re not sure if your partner is ready for your idea of fun, a great way to test the waters is through some dirty talking. Think of it as a lube to smooth the way before fucking your lover in a way that he/she has never dreamed of being fucked before. For instance, if your bedmate still cringes upon being called a slut, then chances are, he/she is not ready to be treated like one. If, however, your lover seems to respond positively to the word, then chances are, he/she is open to the idea. And we all know how easily words can turn into deeds.

Naughty lingo gets the juices flowing. The creative juices, that is.

As mentioned, 80% of sexual activity takes place within the brain. Words, when spoken out loud, have a way of embedding themselves into the subconscious. Thus, if you inform your lover what you intend to do to him/her, the erotic scenario will play itself over and over in your mind until the opportunity arises that you’re able to get physical. At this point, the scenario will cease being just a dream.

For instance, if a man tells his woman: “I’m going to fuck you on your desk and show you who’s boss . ” , the image of his woman bent over her desk, with her skirt hiked up and her panties around her ankles will be tattooed on his brain until it becomes so irresistibly vivid. He’ll dream up of ways on how to transform this fantasy into reality. Soon, he’ll be paying her a surprise visit in her office.

There are some sexual fantasies that we may be reluctant to turn into reality. Perhaps we’re not ready yet. Perhaps we’ll never be ready for them. Nevertheless, dirty talk can serve as a stepping-stone towards realizing those fantasies. If not, then at least it can allow us to partially live out those fantasies. For instance, while you may not really want to beat the shit out of your wife or husband, playing with rough words (ex: Stay down or I’m going to slap you, you filthy whore .) can serve as a satisfying and even a therapeutic alternative.

You’re probably wondering: Why? Why would a woman (or a man) who is naturally offended by being called a “whore” outside the bedroom be okay with it during sex? The answer to that is simple: When the word “whore” or “slut” is used outside the bed, the term carries the definition which society has given it. That is, a person of loose morals who allows just about anyone and everyone to make free of his/her body. However, when used privately in bed, the woman/man is free to control the word, give it its own definition. He/she can use it according to his/her own terms. A “whore” could be someone who’s super flexible in bed or someone with a body so hot, there’s just no decent word for it. A “slut” could be someone who swallows cum. Or not. It could be someone who lets his/her partner fuck him/her up the ass. Or not. “Whore” doesn’t have to mean cheap. “Slut” doesn’t have to be unclean. That is, unless you want it to be.

Dirty talk enables you to be in tune with each other.

It makes sure that you and your lover are on the same page. Screams of pleasure are always a welcome sound but the thing about them is that they’re easy to misconstrue. One particularly frustrating yet surprisingly common scenario is when your partner stops the delightful thing that he/she is doing because he/she misinterprets your moans of pleasure for moans or pain. Indeed, there’s no surer way to kill a sexy mood. Situations like these can easily be prevented if only one has had the courage to speak what’s in his/her mind. Saying something like: “ Oh, baby, don’t you dare stop!” is an easy way to tell your lover that he/she is on the right trajectory.

Dirty talk is about caressing the ego. The language of lust is about lifting each other up.

Most will agree that sex is more than just a physical release. It is an expression of love. It is an act of emotional bonding. But more than that, it is an act of healing. When done correctly, the act of lovemaking can help lovers process major and minor traumas together. Through sex, we help build up each other’s sense of self-worth. We help each other grow. Your words have the power to help a shy flower bloom into a voluptuous goddess. Your words have the magic to make a man feel indestructible. Women are especially self-conscious about their bodies. Despite appearances, men are constantly anxious about their performance in the sack. Saying something like: “God, your breasts are beautiful!” or “I love the way your cock really fills me up.” is a miraculous elixir against all the insecurities that have held your partner down for most of his/her life.

At the end of lovemaking, dirty talk is an expression of appreciation and gratitude.

Naughty words are one way of saying: “I didn’t just fuck you. I loved it.” Sometimes, it’s also a way to say: “I didn’t just fuck you. I love you.” in a totally non-awkward way. It matters not whether your intention is to express your affection or to secure a second invitation into a lover’s bed. If you use dirty talk to build your lover’s confidence in a sincere manner, the more he/she will want to sleep with you again and again. By acknowledging your lover’s efforts with dirty sentences like: “God, I love coming deep in your throat.” or “My pussy feels so raw from riding your cock... I’d totally do it again.” , you are adding emotional gratification on top of their physical satisfaction. In the end, this will make you the best, most thorough lover that he/she has ever had.

Chapter 2

Building Your Carnal
Confidence

Talking is supposed to be easy. After all, you’ve been doing it since you were a kid. But why on earth is dirty talking so darn hard? The truth is that even the most talkative individuals and even the most imaginative writers find playful pillow talk a bit challenging. Some words may seem erotic on print but might sound downright embarrassing when spoken out loud. Even the most sexually confident men and women will eventually come across a naughty word that would make them blush from head to toe. That’s because traditionally, sex has always been about the deed.

At first, dirty talking would make you feel like you’re somehow stripping your clothes off over and over again. With every word, it’s like a new layer comes off and you’ll wait anxiously as to how your partner will react. Will he like it? Will she get turned off?

So, how do you make sure that all that sexy talking won’t send your lover packing?

First, practice with yourself.

Your vulgar vocab may initially shock you but who cares? You’re the only one who’ll be able to hear it anyway. Begin by masturbating. Then, start talking dirty to yourself. At this point, you don’t have to have a rich vocabulary. Just use simple words. Focus on the pleasure and think out loud. Blurting out an honest sentence like: “Oh yeah, that feels good.” is already a hundred times hotter than staying silent.

Next, imagine that you’re having sex with your lover. It’s what you do when you masturbate, anyway. If you’re a guy, as you slip your cock into your lubed-up fist, imagine that it’s her pussy. And so instead of saying: “Oh yeah, that feels good.” , say: “Oh yeah, your pussy feels good.”

If you’re a woman, imagine his cock as you slide your fingers in and out of you. And so instead of saying: “ Oh yeah, that feels good.” , say: “Oh yeah, your cock feels so good.”

Still, words like “good” are way too broad. When it comes to sexy talk, the more specific you are, the greater the impact. As you continue imagining that you’re making love to your partner, describe the feelings in your head. Bring life to those sensations with adjectives.

Examples:

“Oh yeah, your pussy is so fucking tight !”

“Oh yeah, your cock is so fucking thick !”

But then again, anyone’s cock can be thick. Anyone’s pussy can be tight. For dirty talk to be powerful, it must hit home. Moreover, when using adjectives, you must be careful and make sure you stick to the truth as much as possible. For instance, don’t describe a man’s cock as “thick” when you both know that it isn’t.

The next step, therefore, is to consider your partner. What’s he/she like? What do you think he/she would like to hear most? What do you think he/she needs to hear most?

Is he’s constantly worried about his size? Say something like: “Baby, I love how your cock fits me perfectly.”

Is she self-conscious about her heavy boobs? Tell her how burying your face in them feels like heaven.

See, you’re getting good at this already! As you get more comfortable and more talkative, masturbate and practice your dirty talk with a tape recorder. Listen to yourself. This way, you’ll know whether you need to talk more or to talk less, to speak louder or softer, or whether you need to take the naughtiness up or down a notch.

Form a positive attitude and an open mind.

The source of most people’s hang-ups is the idea that dirty talk somehow cheapens them, their partners, or their relationships. To become erotically eloquent, you need to get over the myth that dirty words makes the act of sex unclean. One thing you need to understand is that a person’s sexual persona is just one aspect of himself/herself. Who your lover is in the sack does not make up all of him/her. It is not who he/she is outside the bedroom. Your genitals are not dirty. Your partner’s genitals are not dirty. By using straightforward words to refer to them (ex: cunt, penis, pussy, cock, breasts, boobs, vagina, balls, etc.), you are asserting the fact that these body parts are not to be ashamed of but instead deserve to be appreciated and therefore, mentioned.

Try this activity:

Stand naked in front of a mirror. Look at your genitals and touch them. Observe them. Determine and describe what you like most about them.

Ex:

My breasts are a nice handful. My nipples are small and pretty. I love how sensitive they are!

or

My breasts are big and generous. They’re soft and bouncy and I love playing with them!

Make sure that you concentrate on the positive things. And never, ever compare yourself with the airbrushed vaginas and surgically enhanced penises in porno films and magazines. Ex: If you’re conscious about how your labia minora is an outie, think about how awesome it is that your guy gets to have some flesh to nibble on during cunnilingus.

Talk to your lover about sex. It’s the healthy thing to do.

The more comfortable you are with discussing sex with your lover, the easier it is for you to transition to dirty talking. After having sex, move close to your partner and confess to him/her how you felt. Mention the bedroom tricks and lovemaking positions that you liked the most. Tell your lover which things you want her/him to do again and again.

Ex: I went crazy when you put a vibrator on my clit while you went down on me. I can’t wait for you to do it again.

Be specific. Get graphic. Sure, it was hot when your lover did it to you but hearing the act narrated through your lips will make it even hotter. Observe your lover’s reaction. His/her response will help you gauge how he/she feels about smutty speech.

Never judge.

The bed should be a judgment-free zone. Just as you don’t criticize your partner when he/she shows you his/her body, refrain from criticizing your lover when he/she bares his/her thoughts. Understand that to speak openly entails trust. To be vocal before, during, or after intercourse makes one more vulnerable. Therefore, during sexy talk, stifle the urge to laugh or to react indignantly. Don’t rebuke your lover for his/her poor choice of words during sex or foreplay. Talk about it at least a few hours later.

Ex: You know when we were making love and you called me a cum dumpster? Well, that was a little too dirty for me.”

Dirty talk is not a license to be disrespectful.

To stop dirty talk from being a tad too dirty for your tastes, create a set of rules with your partner. Talk about which words you’re okay and not okay with.

Example: “I’m fine with being called a gutter whore. Just don’t call me a bang hole.”

Great lovemaking is all about give and take. It’s easy enough for the more talkative partner to dominate the dirty dialogue. That said, view dirty talking as an opportunity to allow the more silent person to verbalize more. It’s one way to get to know your lover in a deeper sense. Don’t forget to take turns and to always be on the same page when acting out roles. If one is the slave, then the other must be the master. There can’t be two masters at one time. Moreover, being able to put yourself in the shoes of the listener and the talker will enable you to form a sensible perspective.

“Hey honey, let’s dance the chocolate cha cha.”

Does this colloquial term for anal sex conjure images of feces? If it does, then you don’t have to use it in your coital conversations. Feel free to make your own lust lingo that you’ll feel comfortable with. Remember, the objective of dirty talk is to arouse you and not to gross you out. More than, making your own secret dirty dialect will serve to deepen the intimacy that you share with your lover.

Once you’ve already gathered up the courage to talk dirty, don’t make the mistake of going with the same old, same old stuff.

Refrain from using the same phrases over and over. For God’s sake, you’ve come so far, so don’t spoil it! Strive to make yourself unpredictable. After all, dirty talking is ten times more powerful when you can catch your partner unaware. Experiment with different voices and venture out of your comfort zone. Be Casanova at one time and then a caveman the next.

When it comes to mastering steamy bedroom talk, widening your lewd lexicon is a useful weapon. For some, penis and vagina may seem a bit too clinical. Instead of saying pussy or the commonly used cunt, experiment with other terms. (honeysuckle, juice box, Altar of Venus, etc.) Likewise, there are so many words you can use in place of cock (joystick, cum gun, fuck rod, etc.). Examine how you feel about incorporating these words into your lovemaking routine. Are they too trashy? Too clean? Too medical? Too offensive? Get a list of modern sex-related jargons and read them with your partner. Pick the ones that you think are hot. Laugh at the funny ones. Roll your eyes at the corny ones. Make it a fun thing!

How many times can you use the words “great” and “hot” and “good” before it all goes stale? Enrich your vocabulary of carnal adjectives. List down words you can use to describe your partner’s vagina. Wet and slippery and warm are all fine but how about luscious, plump, succulent, lip-smacking? In the same way, hard and long are all good, but the words iron and enormous and powerful can also be used to describe a dick.

The same truth applies to when you describe your lovemaking and your climaxes. Saying “That was amazing.” will sound wonderful the first, the second, and maybe even the third times but by the fourth time, the compliment is likely to seem more mechanical and less sincere. Use words like ground-shattering, out-of-this-earth, and spine-tingling to refer to a satisfying orgasm.

Chapter 3

Filthy Flirting

Using dirty talk when flirting can help spice up an existing relationship to keep it from going stale. Similarly, you can use a little naughty talk to set the pace of a budding relationship. This is particularly handy when you meet someone new. In this case, your goal is to prevent yourself from being tucked away into the friend zone.

Dirty Seduction Tips and Tricks for Men

The thing about girls is that they usually like to play hard to get. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. After all, men were designed to enjoy the thrill of the hunt. In other words, when it comes to sex, a huge part of the excitement lies not just in the act itself but in the ride leading to the moment when he finally finds himself deep inside his conquest.

Seducing a girl is easy enough if she believes that you’re an awesome guy. The tricky thing though is how to seem like a nice guy without seeming too nice that you’ll end up being added to her list of unfuckable guy pals. Some would say that the most obvious solution would be to hit on her on the spot. Show her that you find her attractive and that you want to sleep with her. But then again, how do you go about this without offending her? The unexpected answer would be: Make her do all the work for you. Yes, be the instigator and initiate the dirty talk. However, do it so discreetly that she’ll believe that it was all her idea.

If you’re a guy, here are a few proven things you can say to a girl so that she’ll instantly perceive you not just as any man but as the man she’ll inevitably have sex with.

Ask her what she puts on when she goes to bed.

How does this work? It makes her think about the bed. This seemingly innocent question is enough to jumpstart a conversation about sexy lingerie and intimate bedtime habits. Observe her response. If the question embarrasses her, back off a bit. She’s clearly not into discussing her nighttime routine with you. But when a girl starts talking about her cute pajamas or her panties or her nightgown, that’s your signal to move further.

Proceed to: Do you like sleeping in the nude?

This will get her thinking about nudity and her body. And of course, about sex.

Ask her about her hottest outfit.

It all sounds so innocent but this will give you an inkling as to what her idea of sexy is. This doesn’t just work with new connections but also with long-term lovers. By finding out what she thinks is the most provocative number in her wardrobe, you might be surprised with how much you can learn about your girlfriend’s or wife’s secret sexual fantasies. With luck, your longtime lover is just waiting for an opportune moment to show you her spankin’ hot costume.

Ask her if she has ever watched while another couple is making out.

It’s not like you’re asking her about her sex life. You’re actually asking about other people’s sexual activities. Because of this, she’s likely to feel more relaxed. She’ll catch your drift and play along if she wants to. If she doesn’t want to lead you on further, you’ll know. After all, it’s easy enough for her to deny that she’s seen another couple do the nasty. On the other hand, if she’s game, she’ll talk about the erotic encounter in detail. This will allow you to proceed to more questions with sensual overtones. Such as…

Have you ever kissed a guy just ‘coz you felt hot and bothered?

This question will let her know that you’re not one of those guys who stereotype women as the less sexual gender. Ladies do feel strong and sudden bursts of lust and they do act on these impulses without shame or guilt. This question will provide your date with an opportunity to show you her wild side. More than that, it’s one way of letting her know that you’re totally down if she wants to jump you and make out with you right now.

Ask your date a hypothetical question that directs her attention to the male anatomy.

Example:

“Let’s say you’re going out on a blind date. Well, almost blind. Let’s say you’ll get the chance to take a peek at one part of the man’s body. That doesn’t include his face. Which body part would you like to see?”

Unless she’s a total prude, there’s no way in hell that she would refuse to answer this question. After all, it’s not like you’re talking about your naked body. Nevertheless, this will unavoidably lead her to think about you and your body. Moreover, this provides you with an opportunity to determine which part of the male anatomy she thinks is the sexiest.

If she responds to this question positively, encourage her to discuss why she chose this body part. Why does she like it? What about it turns her on?

Next, get her thinking about your body.

Do this by asking her a pretty casual and somewhat silly question like: Do you think I’ll look better with or without more body hair?

While it’s unlikely that this question will lead to a deeper discussion, you’ve successfully encouraged her to picture you naked and so, you’ve done your job.

As the conversation progresses, ask her playfully about any secret moves that she uses to turn men on.

Encourage her to talk about her answer in detail. This conversation topic works both ways. Her answer could turn you on but the more she talks and thinks about it, the more it will make her feel frisky. You’ll know she’s digging the dirty talk when she goes in detail about her special sexual moves.

If you and your lady have been going out for quite some time, ask her questions like these:

Of all the sexy things that you’ve done to me, which one was your favorite?

If we could make love in just one sex position, which one would you like?

This question could lead to further explorations like why this sex pose feels so good or why it makes her come harder than any other position. She’ll end up talking about how this position or that makes your cock feel incredibly huge or how helps your penis hit her in all the right spots.

Ask her about that one part of her body that gets her in the mood for love.

The answer to this will give you an idea about your date’s preferences in the sheets. More importantly, this steamy question will cause her to create a searing mental picture. As she describes her erogenous zones, the more she’ll think about them and the more she’ll get herself aroused.

If you’re flirting with a long-time lover, start the dirty talk with questions like these:

How does it make you feel when I touch your ___?

Do you like it when I lick your ___?

If there’s one body part that you’d like me to kiss more often, what would that be?

The next step is to get her to imagine herself having sex with you .

Ask her something like: If there’s anything that I can do to turn you on, what would that be?

This will let her know that you really care about what she likes in bed and that you aim to please her.

If you’re flirting with your girlfriend or with your wife, hold her close or look into her eyes and ask racy questions like:

How can I make you wetter than you’ve ever been?

What can I do to make you come over and over?

Get her to visualize having sex with you by reminding her of all the hot stuff you’ve done.

Ex:

Do you remember when we made love by the beach? We were all hot and sticky. Your pussy tasted so sweet and salty. I can’t get it out of my mind.

As the lust-filled back and forth continues, you can keep asking naughtier, more straightforward questions.

Ex:

How do you like oral sex?

Have you ever made love in public?

What’s the most adventurous sex position that you’ve ever tried?

Have you ever tried using a sex toy? How did you like it?

How do you like masturbating? How often do you do it?

Did you ever get wet while receiving a massage?

As you do this, continue gauging her responses. Curt replies mean it’s time to switch to a tamer topic. Detailed answers mean it’s alright to push through.

If you think you need to cool down a little, talk about something non-sexual and then turn the heat up again with more teasing questions.

These conversation starters are on the tamer side but they have the potential to get things sizzling depending on how far the lady wants to take it:

What is the raciest, kinkiest movie or piece of literature that you’ve ever seen/read? Did it turn you on?

What’s the sexiest/naughtiest thing you’ve ever done?

Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

What are your thoughts on sexting?

Assuming everything goes perfectly well and she’s utterly and completely game with your titillating talk, it’s time to bring out the game-changers, the questions that will turn words into actions.

Is this talk turning you on?

If it is, tell her what you want to do to her. (ex: This talk is making me want to slide my hand up your skirt so I could feel you .)

What would you do if I touch you right now?

Can I kiss you?

These statements are powerful in their simplicity. This lets her know how much you want her. If she gives you the go signal for a kiss, then do it.

If you’ve been having sex with you’re a woman for quite some time, keep the fire going by asking risqué questions while you’re out in public:

Ex:

While dining out, whisper something like this into her ear: How would you feel if I run my hand up your skirt and slip a finger inside you?

The awesome thing about this smart, strategic approaches is that she’ll be the one doing most of the dirty talk. You won’t have to repeatedly and nervously dip your toe in the water or continuously worry about offending her with each word. By asking these provocative questions, you’re allowing your lady to reveal as much or as little as she wants. In other words, she gets to control the level of dirtiness in dirty talking. You’ll make your woman feel like a bad, bad girl in her own right. In a way, you’re empowering her. That sense of power is something that she’ll find extremely arousing.

Dirty Seduction Tips and Tricks for Women

The Good Girl vs. You

For women, one of the greatest obstacles for learning how to talk dirty is the Good Girl Complex. In their quest for affirmation from others, girls grow up aspiring to achieve the image of the ultimate good girl. They try to earn good grades, then they excel in work. They go out on a limb to please others just so they could be called “beautiful” or “perfect”. Even girls who are allegedly “bad” suffer from this complex. While they may engage in self-destructive behaviors, it’s all the same: They’d still bend over backwards so they could gain the attention or acceptance of others. This need to feel “good enough” for others, this great desire to be valued, causes women to neglect their inner needs and desires. It makes them deaf to their own voice. It causes them to be strangers to their own sexual persona. It’s for this reason why so many women are pressured into engaging into sexual acts before they’re sure that they’re ready for it. Afterwards, they end up feeling guilty and “atone” for their actions by resuming the good girl image.

Traditionally, proper women (aka the women worth bringing home to Ma) were expected to be pure and innocent. However, we all know that every man’s dream come true is a lady in the street but a whore in the sheets! If you’re a woman, you have got to stop worrying about what your man will think of you once that first naughty phrase escapes your lips. Maybe you’re worried that he’ll think you’re slutty. So be it. The secret is to make him believe that you’re not a slut but you can be one for him .

Research reveals that women are less likely to initiate dirty talking. If you want to, make the first move. You’ll find that breaking out of the good girl mold can be liberating and empowering. If you’re worried about rejection, then start off with vague phrases that may or may not be sexual.

Ex:

I’ve got a surprise for you later. You’re going to love it.

Of course, the secret to adding a hint of sensuality in statements like these is through your voice, your facial expression, and your body language.

If you want to add just a touch of sexiness in this statement, look at him straight in the eyes. Speak the first sentence in a casual tone. Then, lean over and whisper in his ear. Drop your voice for the second sentence. Make it huskier. Pull back and end with a small, playful smile. Then, leave.

If you want it to be super sexy, lean in closer and give him an eyeful of cleavage. As you whisper in his ear, casually allow your breasts to brush briefly against his upper arm.

Remember that men are visual beings. In this section, you’ll notice how different dirty talk techniques are for women and for men.

Here are other sexy but seemingly innocent conversation-starters that could pave the way to raunchy talk:

If I challenged you to an arm wrestle, do you think you could beat me?

I need you to tell me something… What’s the huge deal with threesomes?

Are you more of a boob guy or a butt guy?

I was thinking about being celibate for two years or so. What do you think?

What would you do if I told you that I have a secret twin sister that looks exactly like me?

If you could sleep with one celebrity, who would you pick?

Pick one: I wear sweatpants for the rest of my life. Or I wear short, tight, little black dresses or the rest of my life.

Here are a few more direct dirty conversation openers for men who are into it:

Have you ever had a neighbor complain ‘coz you were too loud in bed?

Of all the randy things you’ve done during sex, tell me about your favorite.

What’s your hottest, most X-rated sexual fantasy?

What’s the nastiest, sexiest thing you’ve ever done to someone?

Which do you think is the sexiest part of your body? What would you do if I touched it?

Have you ever been caught masturbating?

If you’ve been sleeping with a guy for quite a few times, try these starters:

How would you react if you caught me making out with a super-hot woman?

I had a dream about you last night. I woke up really wet.

I couldn’t sleep last night. I needed you beside me.

Have you ever had a dream about me? What were we doing?

Guess the color of panties that I’m wearing. Assuming I’m wearing one...

When was the last time you touched yourself? Tell me about it.

The following sentences won’t necessarily lead to further conversation. These are powerful bombs that you just drop before you leave or before you switch to another topic. Just be sure that you use statements like these sparingly. They work better when you catch the guy unaware.

I don’t know… There’s something about you that makes me feel so… feminine.

There’s this thing that you do. I love it. I can’t tell you though. ‘Coz when I do, then you’ll stop doing it.

I love that cologne you’re wearing. It’s so… masculine.

Caress a man’s ego and dirty talking will perform wonders for you. When teasing a guy, especially in the early phase of a relationship, make sure to keep the dirty talking light and fun. This way, if he’s not really into it, you can easily save face and carry on talking about other stuff.

Talking Dirty with Your Long-time Lover

Boredom signifies the demise of any relationship. It may seem unfair but women in long-term relationships are constantly struggling to keep things fresh and fun for their men lest the latter start looking for entertainment elsewhere. They can’t help it. As mentioned, they were wired to yearn for the hunt. Talking dirty is one of the ways that you can maintain the excitement in your relationship. That doesn’t mean you have to start spouting stuff that would make a porn star blush. As stated earlier, it’s easy enough to arouse your man by saying completely non-sexual things.

Ex: I love how you wear those jeans.

That’s right, ladies, men need to be complimented too! For couples who’ve been married for years: When was the last time that you told your husband how you love his ass? Or how you had a sexy dream about him?

The previous example works because it draws attention to the man’s genital zone.

To avoid monotony, be sure to alternate between soft-core and hard-core dirty talk.

Soft-core dirty talk phrases:

I need you so badly.

I love it when you look at me like that.

That little thing you do with your tongue… It drives me wild.

The secret to making soft-core dirty talk work is in how you say it. The great thing about these seemingly tame phrases is that they can go from mildly naughty to extremely wicked with a mere tweak in the tone of your voice, the direction of your gaze, or the context. Let’s take a look at the example below:

“You’re so hot.”

If you tell this to his face while looking deep into his eyes, it sounds like a gratifying compliment. But what if you say the same phrase through gritted teeth, with a gruff voice, and while you grab his biceps? When delivered this way, the words sound hotter, more passionate, and more sexual. It’s like you can barely control yourself from moving on top of your man and fucking the lights out of him. Thus, the statement automatically goes from soft-core to almost hard-core.

Then again, what if you say this exact same statement while looking at his crotch instead of his face? The meaning of the statement suddenly shifts from a compliment to your lover to an expression of admiration for his manhood.

Likewise, the meaning of these exact same words tends to be different when they’re used during foreplay and when they’re said while he’s already buried deep inside you. In the former, it would come across as: “Your looks turn me on”. In the latter context, however, “You’re so hot.” will automatically translate to: “You’re so good in bed.”

Hard-core dirty talk phrases:

While soft-core dirty talk appeals to the emotions, hard-core dirty talking connects with our animalistic natures. Women who don’t use swearwords in their everyday conversations find it a bit challenging to say words like “Fuck” and other profanities in bed. After all, if you find swearwords repulsive, how on earth will using vulgar language turn you or your partner on?

Well, consider this: You find swearwords nasty and so you rarely use them. However, when you end up ejaculating these taboo words in bed, it provides your lover with the impression that you’re losing control. Why? ‘Coz he’s such a great lover! More than that, the sex is sooo good that there are simply no words in your good girl vocabulary to describe it.

Examples:

I miss the taste of your cum on my tongue.

I keep thinking about how you twirl your tongue around my clit.

Use touch.

Pair your steamy statements with teasing touches. Gently graze your fingers along his inner arm, place your hand on his chest, or allow your fingers to casually brush against his inner thigh.

Formulate your own secret codes.

It’s true that the familiarity in a long-term relationship makes it vulnerable. That said, you can also use this to your advantage. The great thing about being together for a long time is that you know your man better than anyone in this world. In other words, you know exactly what makes the tip of his cock tingle with excitement. Devise your own lust lingo. This way, you can flirt in public and in front of everyone’s faces without anyone realizing it. Admit it, this idea brings an irresistible kind of thrill.

Ex: I think it’s time that we get an oil change, don’t you?

The language of lust is personal. When exchanged between husband and wife or between two long-time lovers, they become an exclusive language. In this respect, dirty talking is synonymous to sharing an exciting secret with your lover. As a consequence, this strengthens the bond between you.

Chapter 4

Getting Your Lover In The
Mood For Lust

In this section, we’ll explore the dirty, dirty things you can say that will have your lover begging for sex.

Things to Say to Her:

As mentioned, women associate romance with emotions. Thus, the quickest way to get between her legs is through her heart. To get her in the mood, you need to show her that with you, it’s not just about sex. In other words, you must show her that you have a sensitive side too.

Surprise her with a sweet present.

Whisper this into her ear: I’ve got a gift for you.

Then, take her hand and lead it to your crotch. Of course, she’ll immediately think that your not-so-surprise gift is your hard-rock penis. But what if you really keep a present tucked in there? Like a box of jewelry or something else that she’ll like. She’ll go weak in the knees. As for you, you’ll get one grateful, enthusiastic partner in the sack.

Compliment her on her looks and her body.

Nothing in this world turns a woman on more than the idea of making love to a man who thinks she’s perfect.

When we’re making love and I look at your face, it’s so beautiful that I have to stop myself from coming too soon.

When you’re on top of me and I see those gorgeous tits bounce up and down, it just takes my breath away.

Trust that she’ll be eager for every opportunity to keep showing you that spectacular view.

Praise her previous efforts.

The more you acknowledge your woman’s efforts in bed, the more she’s likely to do them again… and again.

You know that strip dance that you did? I still get a hard-on just thinking about it.

Women like to feel that they’re special.

So, let her know that she’s done something for you that no one has ever done before.

That was the best blow job I’ve had in my life.

Damn, I never knew a hand job could be this satisfying!

Letting her know that she’s the best at giving hand jobs/ blowjobs will not only ensure repeat performances but will also motivate your woman to get more creative with her techniques. After all, she’ll want to live up to that reputation.

Women are turned on by confidence.

They get turned on by men who know what they want and how to take it. In other words, don’t ask. Tell her.

Don’t say: Can we have sex tonight?

Instead, say: Tonight, I’m going to make you come like you’ve never had before.

Make her wet while you’re out in public.

Stop looking at me like that or I’m going to fuck you right here on this table. I don’t care who’s watching.

Things to Say to Him:

Sometimes, all it takes to turn your man on is a promise.

I want to give you the best blowjob of your life.

Another thing you can do is to tell your lover exactly what you want him to do to you.

I want you to lick my lips, my neck, and then my breasts. Then, I want you to kiss me all the way down.

Use your hands.

I want you to kiss me… here. (Take his hand and place it between your legs.)

Remember that men love feeling like they’re in control in the bedroom.

Tonight, I’m going to be your personal fuck doll. Think about all the things that you want to do to me…

The key to building anticipation is to flirt with him in places and in circumstances where he won’t be able to touch you.

Before he leaves for work, whisper a sexy promise into his ear.

I wish we could stay in bed all day long. It’s been a while since we did a 69.

When you get home, I’ll be wearing that little French maid outfit that you like so much.

The image of you in that hot little number will be seared into his brain all day long while he’s at work.

Alternatively, you can leave sexy suggestions like a pair of handcuffs in his pocket. When paired with such things, a simple note like: “For later.” automatically turns into a dirty, super sexy phrase. By the time you’re alone together, your lover will be burning with all that pent-up passion.

Leave sticky notes in his underwear drawer, on the bathroom mirror, in his briefcase, or in his lunch box. They don’t always have to be downright dirty. Sometimes, they can just be sweet with the subtlest hint of eroticism.

When you’re in a crowded place where you know he can’t touch you, whisper something electrifyingly erotic into his ear.

You know, I forgot to wear panties today.

I can’t wait for our guests to leave. When they do, I’m gonna tie you up in that chair and ride your cock all night long.

Then, carry on with a perfectly normal conversation.

When using dirty words to arouse your sexual soulmate, make sure that you intend to follow through with actions. Otherwise, you’ll gain a reputation of being an “all talk” lover. Your partner will get blue-balled and confused and sick of all the mixed signals that you’re sending. Worse, your words will lose their power.

Chapter5

Filthy Words For Foreplay

Finally, you’re behind closed doors. You’ve made all those sizzling promises. Now it’s time to deliver the goods!

Things to Say to Her:

During foreplay, use dirty talk to make your lover feel safe and relaxed.

Just lie back. Let daddy take care of you.

Women are generally sensitive about their bodies so make sure that you occasionally compliment whatever body part that you’re touching or kissing or licking at the moment.

Mmm I love burying my face in your breasts. They’re so warm and soft and beautiful.

Baby, you taste like strawberries down there.

Use bawdy talk to encourage your woman to assume a more active role in foreplay.

I want you to take my cock in that sexy, dirty mouth.

Use dirty words to reassure her that she’s doing a fantastic job.

Fuck! Your tongue feels so good on my balls. Don’t stop, baby.

Use naughty words to tell her how eagerly you’ve been waiting for this moment.

Oh God, I’ve been dreaming of eating your cunt all day.

Use naughty language to describe what you just did.

The purpose of this is to encourage a shy partner to be more vocal during foreplay.

Ex: I just tied you up and ripped your panties off.

Such a statement prompts your woman to tell you what she wants you to do next.

When you’re acting out a role, exude confidence to become convincing.

She won’t care if you have a beer belly. If you say that you’re a stud and mean it, she’ll believe it!

I’m your master. You’re my sex slave. Now, kneel down and suck my cock.

Things to Say to Him:

Use naughty words to let him know how hot you think he is.

Like women, men also like knowing that they are desired.

When I touch your muscular arms, it gives my lady bits a little twitch.

Fondle his ego. Use words that appeal to his masculinity.

I love how broad your shoulders are. When you’re on top of me, it makes me feel so small but safe and protected.

I love feeling your chest hair against my breasts. They’re so rich and manly.

Use dirty words to describe what your lover is doing to you.

Ex:

While he’s fingering you, say:

It feels so good when you slip your finger and in and of my hungry cunt. I’m getting wetter and wetter by the second.

Yes, he’s already doing it but hearing the words from your lips will give him an extra, unexpected thrill.

Love what he’s doing? Use naughty words to let your man know he’s going the right route.

Mmm… That’s it. I love the slow, sensuous way you massage by breasts.

Don’t like what he’s doing? Use your dirty words to divert his attention elsewhere.

Ex: If he’s spending too much time sucking on one breast and it starts to feel raw, grab your other boob and say something like: This baby’s getting jealous.

Let him know what you’re about to do to him.

That brief moment where a fantasy is painted in his mind just before it becomes a reality is totally worth it.

Now, I’m going to sit on your face and let you eat me.

Use dirty talking as an opportunity to let him know what you want him to do next.

It feels so good when you nibble on my clit. And my hot, wet pussy is craving your tongue.

This way, he’ll know that you want more and that you’re ready for him to stick his tongue in.

The man is commonly more aggressive in bed so when a woman asserts herself with confidence, this becomes quite a turn on for him.

By the time I’m done playing with your cock, you’ll be begging for me to take it in my hot, juicy cunt.

Chapter 6

Dirty Talk While Doing
The Deed

Things to Say to Her:

Use dirty talk during intercourse to make her feel safe and loved and wanted.

While you’re in the missionary position, run your fingers through her hair. Then, grab her hair slightly behind her head. As you thrust in and out, whisper softly into her ear.

Use dirty talk while in a position that allows for direct eye contact. Look deep into her eyes to convey sincerity.

If you’re fucking her from behind, hold her close and whisper into her ear or against her neck. If possible, touch her face and turn her head so you can look into her eyes. Reassure her that you love and respect her even when you’re treating her like a whore.

Ex:

You’re my little slut. Your all mine and I love you.

I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of having sex with you.

I’d fuck you forever if I could.

While you’re deep inside her, describe the experience to her.

Of course, this involves telling her how nice being in her pussy feels.

You’re so fucking tight and warm. Wish I could stay here forever.

Make her aware of the sexy stuff that’s going on with her body.

See how wet I’ve made you?

Just hearing you pant like that… It makes me want to come soon.

If she’s on top, use dirty words to motivate her.

Seeing you dominating me like this… Fuck, it’s such a turn on!

Like what she’s doing? Use naughty words to urge her to keep going.

Ugh, that’s it baby, bounce that gorgeous ass.

If you want her to keep doing something, use the technique of repetition. This yields a trance-like effect and appeals to the subconscious.

Deep down, you’re a bad girl, aren’t you? You like feeling my cock inside you, you bad , bad girl… You’re so bad , I think I may have to punish you.

Let her know you’re hers.

This cock is all yours.

Let her know she’s yours.

Bend over, woman. I’m gonna fuck you from behind.

Put your hands on your breasts and play with them.

Spread your legs wider. I wanna take what’s mine.

When giving out commands, use powerful action words like suck, lick, swallow, etc.

Once you start getting good at giving out orders, stack a sequence of commands to get her to do what you want.

You like it when I fuck you hard . You’re a naughty girl who likes it hard . You love it when I push my cock hard and rough like this.

Afterwards, have your lover affirm this back to you.

Go on, tell me you like it hard.

If you’re about to blow your wad on her, use your dirty mouth to give her a polite warning.

When I explode, I’m gonna fill your cunt with so much cum.

You’re thirsting for my cum, aren’t you, you dirty bitch?

Things to Say to Him:

As you let him in, let him know that he’s welcome.

Oh yes, I need you deep inside me.

Finally! I’ve been thinking of your long, hard, throbbing cock all day long.

Flatter his ego by letting him know of the effect he has on you.

Oh God, my whole body is trembling.

Let him know how much you’re enjoying it.

Don’t you dare stop fucking me!

Describe in erotic detail the pleasurable things that you’re experiencing.

The way your balls rub against my cunt… it’s so sensual.

Use that dirty mouth of yours to make him feel in control.

I’ve been a bad, bad girl. Punish me.

Use dirty talk to let him know that you can take it.

That’s it, honey, fuck me hard ‘til my cunt hurts.

Let him know you’re his.

I’m you’re whore. Make love to me like you own me.

I’m your sex slave. Possess me.

I’m your toy. Use me.

Use your skill in lustful language to let him know you’re ready to get rough.

Oh yeah, baby, pull my hair!

That’s it, honey, squeeze my tits harder.

While he’s deep inside you, use dirty words to compliment his cock.

Oh yeah, baby, fill me up!

Is your lover’s pornographic speech making you feel uncomfortable? Use your own filthy words to cut it short.

Enough dirty talk, daddy. I’d rather you go dirty on me.

Chapter 7

Giving Mind-Blowing Orgasms Through Dirty Talk

Things to Say to Her:

One way to send your woman to the brink of climax is to play to her vanity.

Let her know she’s beautiful. Let her know she’s sexy. In the dirtiest possible way, of course.

Damn, baby, I could come just by looking at your face.

You’re so beautiful. You drive me fucking insane.

Your ass looks so hot when it’s up in the air like this. God, I can’t stop fucking it.

The taste of your cunt is addictive; do you know that?

If there’s anything more effective than the previous tip, it’s this: Use filthy words to tell your woman you love her.

I love the way you smell. I love the way you moan when I fuck you like this. I just love everything about you…

Show her how grateful you are.

When she feels appreciated, she’ll relax and the climax will come so much easier.

You’re the best fuck I’ve ever had, do you know that?

God, I wish I had met you sooner. We fit together perfectly.

Do you know how grateful I am that your pussy’s so tight? Fuck, it feels so amazing.

Say her name.

Insert her name in your fiery expressions of desire. This reassures your woman that you know exactly who you’re sleeping with. More than that, hearing her name from your lips makes the dirty talk more special and more intimate.

God, ___, something about you brings out the animal in me.

Another way to push her to orgasm is to let her know that you’re almost on the verge of climax.

Fuck, you’re so hot, I can barely hold it in.

God, I’m close to coming. When I do, I’m gonna wash that filthy mouth of yours with my cum.

Encourage her to be vocal when she orgasms.

I can’t wait to hear you moan when you come.

When you come, you’re gonna call out my name.

Lastly, urge her to come just by telling her to come .

I want that juicy pussy to squirt love juice all over my cock.

I want you to soak my cock with so much cum.

I want these sheets to be wet with your cum.

Things to Say to Him:

Use filthy words to encourage him to come.

Oh yes, honey, come for me.

When you come, I wanna hear you scream my name.

I want every last drop of your cum.

Use dirty words to let him know where he can spill it.

Guys love ejaculating all over your body. It’s brought about by their primal instinct to “mark their territory.” Let your man know that you’re giving him your consent to spill his semen on your breasts, in your mouth, in your vagina, etc. Knowing that you’re craving his seed will make his release ten times more satisfying.

We’re not stopping until I taste your cum in my mouth.

I want your cum all over my face.

When I get up tomorrow, I want your cum dripping down my leg.

When a man is on his way to the peak, there can be nothing more exciting than knowing that he’s free to spill his seed wherever he wants.

Tell me where you wanna come.

When you come, I want you to pour it wherever you like.

I want you to cover me with your cum.

The right words uttered at the perfect moment can send your lover off to an explosive, earth-shattering climax such as he/she has never had before. Make sure that you deliver these stimulating phrases during your partner’s steady ascent to the peak of pleasure. You can do this by observing the telltale signs of climax such as rapid breathing, dilated pupils, and muscular contractions.

Chapter 8

Amorous Talk And
Afterplay

“Was it good for you?”

Seriously? You can do a whole lot better than that. And you ought to. People tend to be vulnerable after sex. They’ve just bared their all to their partners and as they descend from the height of orgasm, they arrive at a point where they are most sensitive to judgment and rejection. Relieved of the animal lust that has consumed them, they suddenly become conscious about their naked bodies. They begin worrying about their performance. They get anxious as to whether their partner enjoyed the sex as much as they did. Before this anxiety creeps in, reassure your lover. Whether or not you’re actually in love with your partner, you’re expected to at least have the decency to express your appreciation of him/her. That’s not to say that you should use the word “love” loosely. In fact, the first rule of dirty talk after sex is to stick to the truth as much as possible.

Things to Say to Her:

Tell her how grateful you are.

Don’t just say “thank you” like she’s some sort of prostitute who has just finished rendering her services. Use your skill in the language of love to make her feel like she’s done something wonderful and special for you.

You’re fantastic in bed, do you know that? I feel like a lucky bastard.

That was awesome. I wonder what I’ve done to deserve that.

I’m lucky to be with you right now.

Again, compliment her body.

She’s naked. She’s not as horny as she was a few hours ago. She’s thinking much clearly now and so this is the time that starts to worry about how fat her ass might’ve looked like while you were pumping her from behind. This is the part where you let her know that it’s all good.

You know what really made me cum so hard? It was watching and grabbing and slapping your round and perfect ass.

Recall specific parts of the lovemaking that you liked the most. Then, tell her about it.

The fact that you remembered it will flatter her and reassure her that she was magnificent in bed.

When I saw you licking my cum off your fingers… Damn. That really blew my mind away.

Women are naturally curious and some won’t be able to help but ask you some questions afterwards.

They’ll want to know if you enjoyed the sex (even when it was pretty obvious since you came all over her face). If you’ve slept with a girl for the first time, this is the part where she wonders whether or not you’ll call her again. When she asks you a question, just make sure you give the right answer.

Ex:

When she asks: Did you like it when I sucked your cock?

Don’t just say “yes” or grunt an “uhuh”. That’s as good as saying that her sucking… well, sucked.

Instead, answer her in this way: Yeah, I loved that part where you twirled your tongue round and round the tip of my cock while you were giving me a hand job. That was a really hot move.

Don’t use dirty talk to fish for compliments.

Of course, you want to know if it was good for her. However, the aim of naughty talk after sex is not to feed your ego but to uplift your woman. Moreover, begging for compliments make you look like an insecure little amateur and this can be such a turnoff.

Ex:

After sex, don’t say stuff like: Did you like it when I lifted your legs up and filled you with my huge cock?

Instead, say: I love how flexible you are. Seeing you with your legs lifted like that, I just couldn’t control myself.

Things to Say to Him:

Tell him how grateful you are.

After sex, he’s ego’s just as fragile as yours. He’ll have a gazillion questions running in his mind like how many times did he make you come or if you came at all. Don’t keep him guessing. Let him know.

Your mouth is magical. Thank you.

Nothing’s more reassuring than appealing to his masculinity.

You sure know how to make a lady feel good.

I love how you smell after sex. It’s so manly.

Use dirty words to encourage him to hold you after sex.

I wish we could sleep with your cock still inside me.

You can exaggerate a little but not a lot.

Don’t say: That was the most powerful orgasm I’ve ever had in my life.

After all, how many times can you possibly give this compliment to your lover?

Instead, say: You know, when you made me come, I felt the vibration all over my body. It was amazing.

If you lie about having multiple orgasms now, he’ll know. And then he’ll start doubting whether he’s actually been able to make you come all those many times before.

Chapter 9

Stroking Your Lover’s Ego

Why is it so important to build up your lover’s self-esteem through words?

The simple answer is this: The more attractive a person feels, the more inclined he/she is to have sex. Your wife/girlfriend might look like a supermodel but when she looks in the mirror and hates what she sees, you’ll have a hard time convincing her that she can be a goddess in bed. It doesn’t matter if you get rock hard just by looking at her. If her subconscious mind is convinced that she’s undesirable, then she’ll have a difficult time believing that anyone could lust after her. Moreover, when a woman’s perception of her body image is poor, this causes her to be apathetic or reluctant in bed. For instance, she won’t be open to trying out bold sex positions for fear that it will emphasize her big thighs or her belly. Thus, she ends up suppressing her deepest, wildest sexual fantasies.

The same truth applies to men. If a man looks into the mirror and see some old, balding dude with a potbelly, then he’ll have a tough time owning the role of a sex god. Instead, he’ll end up playing the role of the lazy lover by default. After all, that’s what his body is built for anyway.

In order to be turned for sex, one first needs to be turned on by his/her own image. This means that one of the secrets to a great sex life is to help your partner love his/her own body. Use dirty talking to assist your sexual soulmate in realizing his/her limitless lovemaking potentials.

Things to Say to Her:

Again and again, feed her compliments about her body and her looks.

Don’t just do this while you’re having sex or when you’re begging for some action between the sheets. The key is to tell her how sexy she is while you’re in an un-sexy setting.

When she’s bending over while doing the household chores, say: “I can’t help but get distracted by your stunning rack.”

Compliment her on her performance.

Damn, cowgirl, you ride my cock like you were born to do it.

Women worry a lot about how they smell or how they taste down there. Reassure her that everything’s fine. This way, she’ll be less shy about receiving oral sex.

Your pussy tastes really sweet. I could eat it all day long.

Never compare her with your ex or any of your previous flings.

Not even if you mean well.

Ex:

Don’t ever say: You give better blowjobs than my ex.

Just tell her that she gives great BJ’s. Period.

Things to Say to Him:

Men like to hear that they’re sexy too.

Tell him he’s sexy even when you’re not in the midst of making love.

I couldn’t help but stare at that bulge in your jeans. You’re such a stud.

Worship his cock.

Men see their penises as extensions of themselves. So when you get down on your knees to perform fellatio, nuzzle your cheek against his junk and talk dirty to it .

My mouth misses you. I can’t wait to take you inside me. I can’t wait to feel your cum trickling down my throat.

Don’t focus too much on size.

Your compliments can be easily misconstrued.

Ex:

Don’t say: I love it when you rub your little soldier up my ass.

His brain will register the word “little” and he’ll think that you’re saying that his package is too small.

Also, refrain from referring to your lover’s penis as a “giant cock” when you both know that he’s on the average side. A better alternative would be to express your appreciation for his iron-hard erection.

If you’ve been together for a long time, remind your lover of the days when you were wild and free and having sex at each chance that you get. Reminding your partner of his/her younger self will help in rekindling his/her lust.

Ex:

Him: Remember that time we had sex in the ocean? I stood behind you, pushed your bikini aside, and rammed my cock hard into you. You were so hot then and you’re so hot now.

Her: Of course, I’ll never forget that. I had to lean back against your chest because I felt so weak in the knees. Do you remember how many times you made me come that time? How would you like to break that record today?

Chapter 10

The Guide To Steamy
Sexting

At this point, you’ve learned most of the stuff you need to know about dirty talking. Are you’re still hesitant as to whether you’d be able to pull it off? Are you still unsure as to whether your partner is up for some titillating talk? A great way to practice and to test the waters is by sending your lover sexy text messages.

Things to Say to Her:

Ask her if she’s alone.

The best moment to initiate sexy talk is when she’s all alone and doing absolutely nothing. This ensures that you have her full attention. This also allows the dirty talking to progress to even steamier situations (as in masturbation or actual fucking).

If she says she’s alone, tell her that you wish you’re there with her right now.

If you’ve been fucking each other on a regular basis, then feel free to say something bolder like:

My cock really misses you right now.

If you like, you can start off with something tamer like:

I miss cuddling with you. I miss smelling your hair… Kissing your neck…

No matter how mild your sexts are, always make sure that you focus on the physical stuff.

Ask her what she’s doing.

That’s if you want to take things nice and slow. If she’s game with sexting, she’ll respond with something sexy like: “I’m about to take a shower.” or “Nothing. Just folding my underwear.”

Ask her what she’s wearing.

If she’s game, she might even lie about wearing granny panties and tell you that she’s wearing a black lacy thong.

Ask her some hot hypothetical questions.

If you’re sexting with a girl that you haven’t already had sex with, ask her some questions like:

If I were there in your room right now, do you think we’d end up kissing each other?

What if it all backfires? What if you end up offending the lady?

Then apologize. Sincerely.

A good example is a text message that goes like this: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you at all. I was just playing. I’ll be gentler. Promise. Xx

Things to Say to Him:

Ask him some hot hypothetical questions.

It’s natural that you might be a bit hesitant to initiate the dirty talk but one way to pull it off and surface with your ego unscathed is to start with ambiguous messages that may or may not allude to something sexual.

Ex:

If you were trapped in an elevator with me, how would you keep me entertained?

If you were right here and we were alone, what do you think we’d be doing?

If you and your man have been fucking for quite some time, go for a more titillating theoretical question:

If I let you handcuff me and let you fuck me in whichever way you like, what would you do?

Use dirty sexts to give your lover a hint as to what to expect when you meet.

Tonight, I’m gonna use my whip on you ‘til pass out from pleasure.

Shock him by mixing the erotic with the mundane.

Honey, do you mind swinging by the grocery store later? We need some garbage bags, fresh milk, olive oil… And oh, don’t forget the whipped cream. I can’t wait to lick it off your dick later.

Use sexy texts to give him unexpected compliments.

Last night was wild. I can’t forget how you made me come with your tongue.

So, I’m masturbating right now. And I couldn’t help but fantasize about your cock.

I can still taste your cum on my tongue.

Something about you makes me feel so slutty. I secretly love it

Use dirty sexting to set the theme of your lovemaking later in the day.

Tonight, I’ll be your Queen. So prepare to go down on your knees and lick me ‘til I tell you to stop.

Baby, you’ve been so good to me. I’ve decided that when you get home, I’ll let you fuck whichever hole you like.

Want to escalate his sexual anticipation? Give an eye-popping response to his questions.

Ex:

If he asks you what you’re doing, tell him something like:

Just playing with my pussy… Missing you…

Final Thoughts

There’s no such thing as the correct way to talk dirty. The definition of right dirty talking is purely subjective. Don’t expect everything to go smoothly. Better yet, don’t forget to laugh at any bloopers that you might make along the way. Remember that one of the keys to a great relationship is when couples are able to laugh not at each other but with each other.

Practice makes perfect. This is true both in sex and in the art of dirty talking. The more you incorporate erotic phraseology in your sexy routine, the more you’ll get better at it. That said, don’t make the mistake of merely memorizing the examples in this book. Come up with your own sexy lines. It’s easy enough when you take a really good look at your partner and think about the things that you love most about him/her. The next time you get it on, try to really be in the moment. Relish the sensation of her moist pussy flesh wrapped around your penis or his hard, muscular cock throbbing deep in your vagina. Focus on the feeling and the words will come to you. Do this with the utter confidence that there is no one in this world who knows and understands your lover’s body more than you do.

Be as natural as you can be. Nothing can murder mounting lust as efficiently as an insincere compliment. Strive to be spontaneous rather than superfluous. No one’s expecting you to recite a poem about his penis or to deliver an impressive monologue about her vag. All your lover is expecting is for you to be you . Remember that the most important part is to make your partner believe that you mean every word that you say. So use words and expressions that you would use. Don’t say anything that would make your sexual soulmate feel that he/she is doing it with stranger. Even when you’re assuming characters in your dirty dialogue, make sure you incorporate some of yourself into that role. This way, no matter how realistic things get, your lover’s subconscious knows that it’s still you that he/she is making love with. You. The person that he/she loves, desires, and trusts the most in this world.

Don’t feel compelled to say things you don’t want to say just so you can please your partner. No matter how good of an actor/actress you are, your disgust will inevitably betray you. Moreover, keep in mind that you’re exploring dirty talk not just for the pleasure of your lover but for your own too! So sit down with your girlfriend/boyfriend or husband/wife and make up your own rules while equally taking into account each other’s fantasies and limitations. Lastly, the greatest thing about talking dirty with your lover is that it opens up new doors for discovery. After all, if you can talk like an expert seducer/seductress in bed, what other things can you do? Talking dirty is just the start of unraveling the deeper layers of your sexual persona. The confidence and the liberation that you gain from mastering the language of lust will inevitably set you towards the path to realizing your true carnal prowess, therefore allowing you to become the best lover that you can possibly be.

Sex Positions

Beginner, Intermediate & Advanced
Sex Positions

Introduction

Congratulations on downloading this book and thank you for doing so.

If you’re looking at a book about sex positions, you’re probably interested in trying to spice up your sex life. Perhaps you and your partner simply need a few new ideas in the bedroom. Maybe what you’ve always done just isn’t working anymore. Maybe you’re curious about what you can do to make a sex a better experience for your partner as well as yourself. No matter why you decided to give some new sex positions a try, remember: this book is for you.

It’s easy to find books on sex positions that seem like they were written for modelesque, yoga-practicing ballet dancers, where every new move requires the strength of an athlete and the flexibility of a gymnast. For a mere mortal, those books can be daunting. It’s hard to have fun experimenting during sex when you’re worried about spraining an unidentified muscle contorting yourself into impossible shapes. This is not one of those books. If you are as flexible as a yogi, you’ll find plenty of fun, but this book includes sex positions for everyone, no matter their preferences or physical capabilities.

If you’re just starting out with your experimentation, the first chapter of this book provides lots of fun variations on classic sex positions. The variations are easy enough that anyone can try them. For a bit more of a challenge, go on to chapter two, where the variations require a bit more skill. And if you’re really looking to get funky, the positions in chapter three will stretch your imagination and keep sexy times fresh and fun.

For those of you who want a little more than two bodies to keep up the experimentation, chapters four, five, and six will help. Dirty talk, erotic massage, and props are all great ways to turn up the heat in the bedroom, even if you mostly stay in missionary. If you’ve never tried any of these techniques before, don’t worry. This book is designed to get you started. And if you’re an expert looking for new, fun ideas, you’ll find those as well.

There is never a bad time to start a little sexual experimentation, and this book is a perfect place to begin. There are plenty of books on this subject on the market, so thanks again for choosing this one! Every effort was made to ensure it is full of as much useful information as possible. With a little luck, you and your partner will have a pleasing romp through the pages!

Chapter 1

Easy Sex Positions

Whether you’re new to sex or an old hand at pleasing partners, easy sex positions are some of the most tried and true ways of getting it on with someone. All of the positions and variations here are meant to be accessible by people of all shapes, sizes, and fitness levels. You don’t have to be flexible and athletic to enjoy great sex. If you’re still running into challenges, don’t let yourself be constrained by these ideas: get creative with your partner and find out what works for you!

A Handy Job

You will need: a bed or soft surface, yourselves

In this easy beginner position, the woman lies on her back on a bed or soft surface. The man sits beside her, facing her, and uses his fingers to pleasure her. Great techniques for him include circling or quickly stroking her clitoris, gently sliding his finger back towards her vaginal opening, and using his fingers to penetrate her. Gentlemen, remember to be gentle and use lube if necessary. The clitoris does not provide any of its own lubrication. Ladies, this is a great opportunity to tell your man what you like. Use positive reinforcement and give him ideas, and he’ll soon be pleasing you just the way you want.

Variation 1: Experiment with the man’s position next to the woman on the bed. He can try lying down beside her, facing away from her, sitting behind her as she sits up, or whatever works best. Changing his position changes the angle of his hand, which can help her get the best experience.

Variation 2: Take it vertical. The woman stands in front of the man with her back facing him. He can reach around with his hand to please her, and she’ll be able to nestle her booty right up against his manhood for some shared enjoyment.

Blow Easy

You will need: the edge of a bed, yourselves

Control and access are the key benefits of this beginner position. The man lies on his back on the bed with his knees bent and his feet on the floor. The woman kneels on the floor in front of him, where she can easily take his penis in her mouth and pleasure him. With his legs parted and his pelvis just at her level, she can control all of the action. If she’s worried about him going too deep into her mouth, this position allows her to be in charge of the movement and avoid any uncomfortable situations. On his end, he gets to lie back, relax, and let his lady give him the time of his life.

Variation 1: The man lies near the corner of the bed, giving the woman access from this side. While her positioning is a bit more difficult, the change in angle spices things up for him and gives her perfect access to his testicles. That’s the fun of this variation: double the contact, double the pleasure.

Variation 2: The man puts his legs over the woman’s shoulders. This variation can be done with the man on the bed and the woman on the floor, as in the original position, or with both partners on the bed. When he lifts his legs, he offers her a bit more access. He also gives himself a bit more control, as he can push down gently to encourage her to go lower. She can always hold on to his thighs to make sure she stays in charge, however!

All For Her

You will need: a bed or soft surface, yourselves

In this classic lady-pleaser, the woman lies on her back on a bed or soft surface while the man kneels between her legs and uses his mouth to pleasure her. She can prop herself up on pillows to get a different angle, while he can reach his arms under her legs and hold on to her hips to help her move with him. Whether she likes long licks or short strokes, she’ll have the opportunity to tell him what a good job he’s doing and he’ll have the chance to make her back arch with pleasure.

Variation 1: To up the ante and give him better access, she can put her legs over his shoulders. He’ll be able to get even closer where she wants him, and she’ll be able to encourage him by pulling down with her thighs.

Variation 2: The woman sits on the edge of the bed while the man kneels and uses his mouth to please her. With her legs over his shoulders, he’ll have the perfect positioning for fun. In this pose, she can hold his head and direct him just where she wants him to go, to maximum effect.

On A Mission

You will need: a bed or soft surface, yourselves

In this classic position to top all classic positions, the woman lies on her back with her legs spread while the man positions himself between her legs and slides his penis into her vagina. He’s got a lot of control in this one, but she can push her hips up and arch her back to change the angle and get him just where she wants him. This is often a quick, effective position for him, so if time is a consideration, it’s a good, delightful go-to.

Variation 1: For a tighter feel, she can put her legs together while he straddles her. It’s a little trickier for him to keep his penis where he wants it to go, but if either party is looking for some extra friction, this variation will do the trick.

Variation 2: If she wants to take back some of the control, she can wrap her legs around him as he pushes in and out, letting him know how deep and fast to go. This modification can also provide him with a little extra energy if he’s getting tired from doing most of the work.

Variation 3: The man and woman position themselves on the edge of the bed and each places their outside foot on the floor. This variation allows him a lot more power as he thrusts, making it a great move for energetic, rougher sex. Her leg on the floor allows her to rise up to meet him and double the bang.

Ride ‘Em, Ladies

You will need: a bed or soft surface, yourselves

For variations: a comfortable couch or chair

If she wears the pants in the relationship or just likes to try them on once in a while in bed, give this classic girl-on-top position a try. The man lies on his back and the woman straddles him, kneeling with her legs on either side of his hips and lowering herself onto his penis. She’s in charge, making him plead for her to go faster, slower, deeper, or shallower as she wishes. This one is great for pleasing her, as she can do exactly what it takes to get herself into the orgasm zone.

Variation 1: This variation is a twist on the original: a 90º twist. With him on his back, she positions herself perpendicular to him and slides herself onto his penis. She can place her feet flat on the bed or extend them straight out in front of her. With her hands on the bed behind her, she can pump up and down. She can also use her pelvic muscles to stimulate him.

Variation 2: The man sits up on the bed with his legs straight out in front of him, supporting himself by putting his hands behind him. The woman straddles him, crouching on the bed, supporting herself by putting her hands behind her on his upper legs. Because both partners are very close together in this position, it’s perfect for some passionate kissing, necking, or ear nibbling.

Variation 3: For more relaxed, but just as sexy, closeness, she can lean down over him as he lies on his back. To help her stay in position, he can lift his knees slightly and she can slide her feet underneath, wrapping her legs around him a bit more. It’s the perfect variation for slow, cuddly sex, and he’ll enjoy the feel of her chest as it brushes and presses into his.

Variation 4: Change up the angle by changing her position ever so slightly. Instead of straddling both of his legs, she straddles only one, so one of his legs is between hers and one is outside. She can stay in a kneeling position or lie down flatter, getting ever closer to him. If she stays kneeling, she should remember to be careful not to get too close to his testicles with her knee!

Variation 5: For the laziest days, he can sit down on the couch while she climbs on top and straddles him. He’ll be in just the right position for her to bounce up and down on his penis, and the couch will provide plenty of support. This is another close position, good for deep, sexy kissing.

Puppy Love

You will need: a bed or soft surface, yourselves

For variations: a large exercise ball, a table or countertop

Embrace your animal side with this position. The woman gets on her hands and knees on the bed or soft surface, while the man kneels behind her. He slides his penis into her vagina from behind. Both partners have some range of movement, so both can participate in the bumping and grinding. He can also hang on to her hips for a little more control or, if his arms are long enough, reach around to rub her clitoris for some extra intensity. (If you’re looking for some backdoor fun, this position is perfect for anal sex. Just don’t forget the lube!)

Variation 1: Add some roly-poly movement into the mix. Rather than resting on her hands and knees, she kneels on the floor or bed and rests her upper body on an exercise ball. His job is pretty much the same, but she can roll back and forth, changing his angle and getting that rhythm just right.

Variation 2: She positions her legs close together, tightening up her point of entry. It makes it trickier for him to get in, but extra satisfying for both when he does!

Variation 3: She can let him do the work by lowering her arms and upper body to the bed. This position changes the angle of penetration for some deep, pleasing action. He’ll have more control here since her range of motion will be more limited.

Variation 4: She positions herself on her hands and knees on the edge of the bed, while he stands on the floor behind her and pushes his penis into her vagina. This position can help to neutralize height differences between partners. If there’s still too great a difference, try a few pillows beneath her knees or experiment with different pieces of furniture.

Variation 5: Both partners get in on the vertical action. She stands and bends over, resting her hands or upper body on a table or countertop. He enters her from behind, grabbing her hips to keep the two of them together and creating a delicious push and pull for them both.

Chapter 2

Intermediate Sex Positions

Mouth Magic

You will need: a bed or soft surface, yourselves

For variations: a low bed or seat

For this position, the woman lies on her back on the bed or soft surface while the man straddles her, placing his knees on either side of her shoulders. From here, he can push his penis into her mouth and she can use her lips and tongue to pleasure him. He can place his hands on her forehead if he would like to direct where she goes, while she has lots of freedom to caress his body with her arms. In this position, he’s got a lot more control over the speed and depth of the thrusting, so she has to be comfortable enough giving oral sex to manage a little deep-throating, while he has to understand her limits. To take back a bit of that control, she can place her hands under his thighs or grab on to his hips.

Variation 1: Flip things around! Rather than having him facing her as he straddles her, turn him so he faces her feet. He’ll enjoy a different angle and a fabulous view of her body as she brings him to orgasm. This angle can be a bit trickier for her, however.

Variation 2: She sits on a low bed or seat so her head is about level with his groin, while he stands in front of her, facing her. From here, she can easily take his penis in her mouth. She can control the action by holding on to his hips, or he can take over by holding on to her head. For better access, he can also place one leg up on the bed or seat. If he stands like this, she might also be able to fondle his testicles for some extra fun.

Reciprocation Station

You will need: a bed or soft surface, yourselves

For variations: a wall

It’s a good rule of thumb in love-making: if she goes down on him, he should go down on her. Luckily, there are plenty of great ways for him to reciprocate. For this position, the man lies on his back on a bed or soft surface, while the woman straddles him with her knees on either side of his shoulders. He’ll be able to do double duty by using both his fingers and his tongue to pleasure her. She gets a good view of the action and can let him know what he’s doing well. The tricky part of this position is that she needs to be flexible enough for his face to be close to her clitoris and vaginal area. To make things easier, he can prop his head and shoulders up on a pillow or two.

Variation 1: She stands with her back to a wall, close enough that she can lean against it easily. He sits on the floor facing her, so his face is at the same level as her groin area. She lifts one leg over one of his shoulders to bring his mouth and her clitoris close together. She can place her hands on his head for balance while he can use his hands to please her or to caress other parts of her body.

Variation 2: She stands in a wide stance and bends over at the waist while he kneels behind her. She can reach down and grab her ankles for better balance or, if she doesn’t have that flexibility, she can lean on a bed or other piece of furniture. From this position, he has access to her from behind and can use his mouth to pleasure her. She gets the added benefit of being able to look between her legs and see what her pleasure is doing to him! (If both partners are interested, this position is great for oral action on her anal area. Just make sure to take some extra precautions to ensure cleanliness!)

The Classic 69

You will need: a bed or soft surface

There’s a reason this position is a perennial favorite: it allows couples to give and receive at the same time. Although at first, it can be a tricky position to get into, once a couple has gotten the hang of it, it’s not too difficult. Everyone is shaped a little differently, so don’t hesitate to move around, experiment, and figure out the best 69 position for you.

For a low-pressure start, a version with both partners on their sides can’t be beat. The woman starts by lying down on her side on the bed with her legs bent slightly. She lifts her upper leg and places her foot on the bed, parting her legs so that the man will have enough room to access her intimate parts. He lies down facing her, also on his side but going the opposite direction so that his head is level with her groin and vice versa. He also parts his legs, resting his foot on the bed. From here, both partners can pleasure each other orally. Since both of their upper arms will be free, they can embrace and caress each other while they do most of the work with their mouths. Besides just providing easier access to their partner, bending their knees and putting one foot flat on the bed helps them keep their balance and comfort while their minds are on something else entirely.

Variation 1: Both partners move their hands around to create a more intense, intimate experience. By turning their shoulders slightly downwards, they can free up their lower arms as well as their upper arms to touch their partners all over and pull them closer. Try grabbing butts, upper thighs, ankles, or putting a hand on a lower back--or use your imagination!

Variation 2: He turns from his side to lie on his back with his knees bent and his feet flat on the bed. She straddles him with her knees just above his shoulders, then leans down to take his penis in her mouth. From this position, he should be able to grab onto her butt with his hands and guide her down onto his mouth. In turn, she can wrap her arms around his upper thighs and, if her arms are long enough, play with his testicles. This variation provides her with a little more range of motion.

Footsie Fun

You will need: a bed or soft surface, yourselves

Not everyone likes feet. But for those who do, this is a fantastic and highly arousing position. The feet contain many sensitive nerves and using them to give pleasure can be great fun for both partners. He lies on his back on the bed, either with relaxed legs or with bent knees. She sits between his legs facing him, far enough away that she can easily touch his groin with her feet but not so far away that she has to stretch her legs out to get there. She can support her upper body on her hands, elbows, pillows, or a wall if she would like. From this position, she can gently and sensually rub her feet on his body. His penis is the ultimate goal, of course, but she can really turn up the heat by working her way up his inner thighs, around his hips, and onto his stomach. She should make sure her toenails are trimmed and that there are no rough patches on her feet. This position is also a great opportunity to use a massage oil to smooth things along. And to add a little more fun for her, she can use one of her free hands to pleasure herself as she also pleases him.

All About Legs

You will need: a bed or soft surface, yourselves

For variations: the edge of a bed or table

There are a lot of different ways partners can position their legs during sex. Moving them around can be a great way to spice up the action. For this position, she lies on her back on the bed while he kneels facing her. She lifts her legs and places them on his shoulders. From here, he can push his penis into her vagina, grabbing on to her hips with his hands and moving her to find just the right rhythm.

Variation 1: She lies on the edge of the bed or table and rests her legs on his shoulders while he stands on the floor facing her. Both partners may need to experiment with the height of the bed or table to find what works best for them, but this can be a great position for neutralizing significant height differences between partners. In this position, he can hold on to her ankles for more control.

Variation 2: Both partners position themselves on the bed like in the original variation, but rather than resting her legs on both of his shoulders, she puts them together and rests them on just one of his shoulders. He might need to use one arm to help hold her legs in position, but the other arm is free to hold her hip or caress her. This is a tighter position for both partners, providing some delicious friction.

Variation 3: Like in Variation 1, move this position to the edge of the bed. He stands on the floor while she puts both of her legs over one of his shoulders. A slightly lower bed or piece of furniture can work well in this position because it gives him more control to push down into her rather than straight forward.

Variation 4: This variation requires a little more flexibility, but is very rewarding. She lies on her back on the bed while he kneels between her legs facing her, like in the original, but she only lifts one leg over his shoulder. This move opens up his access to her and can make for some deep, stimulating penetration.

Variation 5: If she wants some control over his movement, she can lie on her back, pull her knees close to her chest, and place her feet flat on his chest as he kneels in front of her. He’ll be able to slide his penis into her vagina, but she’ll be able to indicate how fast and far she wants him to go by moving her feet.

Variation 6: This is another variation that requires some flexibility, this time from both partners. She lies on her back and lifts her legs into the air. He kneels in front of her, grabbing her ankles with his hands and spreading her legs into a V. He may have to spread his legs fairly far apart to get low enough to penetrate her. If this is a challenge, a pillow or two under her hips can make a big difference.

Take a Ride in Reverse

You will need: a bed or soft surface, yourselves

For variations: the edge of a bed

This is another classic position that allows her a lot of control. He lies on his back on the bed or soft surface while she straddles him facing away from him, lowering herself onto his penis. She’ll be able to touch and caress his upper thighs and fondle his testicles, while he’ll have a great view of her butt and the action from behind.

Variation 1: Rather than kneeling, she can squat over him. This allows her to have a greater range of motion and a faster rhythm, creating a steamier experience for both of them. To keep her balance, she can lean forward and rest her hands on the bed between his legs. She can also put a pillow there for a little extra support if needed.

Variation 2: She positions her knees a little farther back when she straddles him, closer to his elbows than his hips. Next, she leans forward, supporting her upper body on her hands. He sits up a bit and grabs on to her hips, using his control to lower her on to his penis. Both partners have some range of motion here and can create a great, sexy rhythm.

Variation 3: He positions himself on the edge of the bed, and when she straddles him, she places her outside foot on the ground. She might have to turn her upper body slightly to the outside to do this. This extra point of contact will allow her plenty of balance and energy for pumping, and he’ll be able to get even deeper inside her.

Variation 4: This variation gives him the control. He sits up on the bed with his legs out in front of him, while she straddles him facing away from him. Putting her legs straight out behind her, she can lie face down on the bed while he holds on to her hips and creates a rhythm for both of them to enjoy. So she can join in on the effort, both partners can position themselves so her feet just touch a wall, allowing her to push out against the wall and him to pull her back in.

Dirty Spoons

You will need: a bed or soft surface, yourselves

Sometimes, partners just don’t have a lot of energy for sex. Sex after a long day, sex in the middle of the night, sex in the morning before work: sometimes you need a relaxing position that just doesn’t require too much effort. That’s when this position is perfect. The man lies on his side on the bed or soft surface with his knees slightly bent. The woman nestles into the same position just in front of him, so her back is pressed up against his chest. From here, he can slide his penis into her vagina. It’s difficult to get a very deep penetration from this position, so it’s perfect for men who prefer to stimulate the tip of their penis and for women who enjoy the feel of friction at the entrance to their vagina. Since her arms are free, she can also reach down and give herself a helping hand. (With some lube and a little practice, all of these variations can also work wonderfully for anal sex.)

Variation 1: For deeper penetration, she can lift her upper leg and place it over his leg so her foot is behind him. She may need to turn her upper body a bit towards him to do this. With a greater space between her legs, he can get closer to her and push his penis much farther into her vagina. He might also be able to reach around and fondle her breast with his lower hand.

Variation 2: This variation gives him a little more space to move. She lies on her side but props her upper body up with one elbow. Stretching her lower leg out straight but keeping her upper leg bent, she creates a space for him. He positions his knees between her legs and supports himself by resting his hands just behind her upper back. He’ll be slightly on top of her and able to slide his penis into her vagina. Using his hands and knees for support gives him a greater range of motion, and her positioning allows for deeper penetration.

Variation 3: Switch up the directions! Both partners lie on their sides like in the original, but with their upper bodies going in opposite directions. Her back will line up with his knees, while his chest will line up with her knees. She can keep her legs together or lift one and rest her foot on the bed. He’ll be able to penetrate her, and both partners will have a free hand to touch and caress the other. If his arms are long enough, he might be able to reach around and stimulate her clitoris with his hand. This position is also great for very intimate partners since they can look at each other from each end of the bed as they reach climax.

Doggie Deluxe

You will need: cushions, a low chair or ottoman, a bed or table, yourselves

Doggie style is one of the sex positions that allows for the most creativity. Here are a handful of more challenging variations on the positions described in Chapter 1.

Variation 1: She kneels on the low chair or ottoman facing away from him, while he kneels on the cushions on the floor just behind her. He can grab on to her hips and pull her down on his penis while leaning forward to nuzzle her neck or whisper into her ear. If she’s kneeling on a chair, she’ll be able to rest her hands or elbows on the back for support.

Variation 2: She squats on a bed or table facing away from him, while he stands behind her and penetrates her. He’s got lots of freedom of movement with his arms, so he can grab her hips, caress her waist and stomach, or fondle her breasts as they have sex.

Variation 3: She lies on her stomach on the bed while he kneels between her legs and slides his penis into her vagina. He can stay on his knees or lie more flat. If he stays on his knees, she can push her hips up into him and create an opening for him to reach around and stimulate her clitoris. If he lies flatter, she can wrap her legs around him and pull him closer.

Variation 4: She squats on the bed, supporting herself with her elbows, but reaches one leg behind her to rest on the knee. He kneels behind her to push his penis into her vagina. The uneven positioning of her legs gives her a greater range of motion to find that sweet spot.

Keeping It Erect

You will need: yourselves

For variations: a wall

Standing sex can be a quick way of getting the job done if time is of the essence. It’s also good for tight spaces: a little rearrangement of clothing and a closet can make for the perfect quickie. The man stands behind the woman with her back to him and pushes his penis into her vagina from below. To keep themselves together, both partners can hold on to each other with their hands: hers on his butt, his on her breasts, waist, stomach, and hips. This arrangement can be rather challenging for partners with significant height differences, so experiment with using the stairs, a stool, or other pieces of furniture to find just the right height. Since this position doesn’t require any supports, it’s perfect for having sex in places people might not want to touch, such as in a bathroom.

Variation 1: If sex without any supports is daunting (especially for him, since he has to keep his legs bent), try this variation with a wall. He stands against the wall, close enough that he can bend slightly at the waist and press his butt into it, providing support. She stands in front of him with her back to him so he can penetrate her. Like in the original, there’s lots of room for caresses, and he can even reach around and touch her clitoris to add to her pleasure.

Variation 2: To change the angle a little, she can lift one leg and press the bottom of her foot against the wall he is leaning on. If he holds on to her shoulders and she holds on to his hips, she can lean forward slightly and put the pressure of his thrusting on a different area of her vagina. The most sensitive areas are different for each woman, so switching it up provides the maximum opportunities for the maximum pleasure.

Chapter 3

Advanced Sex Positions

Oral Report

You will need: the edge of a bed, yourselves

What can make oral sex difficult is control. If she’s not used to fondling a penis with her mouth, it can be hard for her to bring him to orgasm. And if he goes in too deep when she’s not ready, his pleasure won’t be so fun for her. But it’s the rare man who doesn’t like a good blow job. For those ladies who have had time to practice and hone their skills, these advanced positions can be a fun way to mix it up.

The woman lies on her back on the bed with her head positioned just over the edge. She should go far enough that her head is tilted slightly backward, but not so far that her head is no longer supported by the bed. The man stands with his legs on either side of her head while facing the bed. He can brace his legs or knees against the bed if he would like. He can also place his hands on her breasts or upper body for a little more support. She wraps her arms around his thighs and takes his penis in her mouth. Since his legs are bent, he can pump in and out, and she can control his movement with her arms.

Variation 1: She lies on her back on the bed like in the original, but slides farther off the bed so her head is no longer supported. Her shoulders should still be fully on the bed. He straddles her head, facing away from the bed, and reaches down to cup her head in his hand, supporting her. She wraps her hands around his thighs and takes his penis in her mouth. This can be a slightly easier angle for her, but he has to make sure he gives her head and neck a lot of support or she will get tired before he gets off!

Flip the Switch

You will need: a wall, a pillow or cushion, yourselves

This is a fun oral sex position for the more athletically inclined. She kicks up into a handstand against the wall, supporting herself by keeping her heels touching the wall and spreading her legs into a V. He holds her hips to provide a little extra support and leans over to pleasure her with his mouth. It’s a good idea to place a pillow or cushion on the floor under her head once she’s in the handstand so she doesn’t get hurt if the intensity of her orgasm causes her to come crashing down! Unless she can stay in a handstand for a long time, it’s best to have a good warm-up session before getting in this position for the final stretch.

Variation 1: He’ll need to be strong to pull this one off. He stands up straight and she puts her legs over his shoulders, hanging from them as he performs oral sex. This can be a tricky position to get into. One possibility is for him to crouch in front of a table. She can sit on the table and swing her legs over his shoulders, then he can stand and she can move to the hanging position. Another possibility is for her to kick up into a handstand in front of him. He can catch her legs, crouch, put them over his shoulders, and pick her up. He won’t be able to bend too far down to reach her sensitive areas, so she should wrap her arms around his waist and not let herself slide past his hips. He can also hold her around her waist. If both partners are secure enough, he can use one hand in addition to his mouth to provide her with extra pleasure.

The 169

You will need: a comfortable chair, yourselves

Try this challenging but rewarding twist on the classic 69 position. The man positions himself upside-down in the comfortable chair, with his shoulders near the edge of the seat and his hips pressed into the upper back of the chair. He spreads his legs slightly and rests his heels on the top of the chair back. The woman straddles his head, giving him access to her intimate areas, while leaning over to pleasure him orally. Both partners can wrap their hands around the other’s hips and butt for some extra stability.

Variation 1: Flip it around! She positions herself upside-down in the chair while he straddles her.

Come from Behind

You will need: a bed, an exercise ball, a wall, yourselves

More advanced variations on the doggy-style position add to the fun!

Variation 1: Place the exercise ball against the wall. The man sits on the exercise ball and leans his upper back against the wall. The woman stands in front of him with her back to him and leans over, grabbing her ankles with her hands. She lowers herself onto his penis. The bouncing motion of the exercise ball gives him lots of freedom to go in and out as he pleases, pleasing her.

Variation 2: With his help, she climbs onto the exercise ball and balances on all fours. He stands behind her, holds on to her hips to ensure that she doesn’t lose her balance, and slides his penis into her vagina. He’s in charge of the movement in this position: if she goes too far in one direction or another, she might go rolling to the floor. The balancing act provides a heightened sense of excitement that can be extra sexy.

Variation 3: She’ll need strong and flexible legs to do this position. She starts on all fours on the bed with him kneeling behind her, like in the classic doggy-style position. Then, she lifts one of her legs high behind her, high enough that her foot is above his head. This move opens up her pelvic area, providing more access for him and deeper penetration for her. He can help her out by holding her raised leg between his hip and forearm and grabbing onto her hip with his hand. If she’s really flexible, she can slide her leg all the way up and over his shoulder.

Slippery Seating

You will need: a bed or soft surface, a chair, yourselves

Seated sex can seem easy or relaxing, but in reality, it often takes a lot of energy to keep up the motion of sex while in a seated position. In addition, sitting can often make the process of penetration--as well as keeping the penis in the vagina--more difficult, so greater flexibility is required. However, it’s a fun way to spice things up and keep both partners satisfied.

Variation 1: In this position, he lies on his back on the bed or soft surface. She climbs on top of him, facing away from him as in reverse cowgirl, but rather than straddling him, crosses her legs. If she’s particularly flexible or a yoga aficionado, she can fold her legs into a true lotus position. However, it’s important that she doesn’t get tired or sore before both partners have had their fun, so any cross-legged position will work for this variation.

Variation 2: He lies on his back on the bed or soft surface and lifts his legs so his knees are very close to his chest and his penis sticks out between them. He can wrap his arms around his legs to keep himself in this position while she lowers herself into a seated position facing away from him and pushes his penis into her vagina. She’s got the control in this position, and with his legs out of the way, she has great access to his testicles too.

Variation 3: He sits slouched down in a chair, with his hips near the edge of the chair seat and only his upper back touching the back of the chair. Then, he lifts his legs into a V, holding on to the back of the chair with his hands to keep himself in position. She stands between his legs, facing away from him, and lowers herself onto his penis. She has all the control while he gets a great view of her backside and the action down below, but she has to have strong legs to keep things going.

Variation 4: She lies on her back on a chair or on a bed with her hips near the edge. She lifts her legs and pulls them towards her chest while he squats in front of her, facing away from her and lowering himself towards her. He will probably need to use his hands to guide his penis into her vagina as he gets closer. This can be a tricky angle to maintain, but it’s great for partners who are looking for some high-friction sex.

Stand and Deliver

You will need: a table or bed, a wall, yourselves

Sex standing up is great fun, but these positions require a lot of strength from both partners. Make sure you’re confident in your abilities before you give these a go!

Variation 1: He stands on the floor with his back to the table or bed. She faces him and places both of her feet on the table or bed, putting her arms around his neck to help her balance. He can help her out by putting an arm around her back or under her thigh. From here, he can slide his penis into her vagina. It can be a little tricky getting into this position. She can try stepping from a chair to the table or bed to make things easier.

Variation 2: The positioning of both partners for this variation is the same as it was in Variation 1, with one big difference: rather than supporting herself by putting her feet on the table or bed, she puts one foot into each of his hands and he holds her up all on his own. She’ll be able to help by putting her arms around his neck, but both partners will need to be very strong to maintain this position since he won’t be able to use his hands to support her back or guide her as they push in and out.

Variation 3: If Variation 2 is a little too daunting, he can stand close to a wall and brace his upper back against it as he holds her up. Both partners will still need to be strong, but he’ll have a little help with their balance.

Arousal Acrobatics

You will need: a table, an exercise ball, a comfortable chair, yourselves

For the truly daring, these acrobatic sex positions can provide the ultimate pleasurable experience. Partners that are both strong and flexible can have a lot of fun mastering these positions that require a little extra work but also provide a little extra reward.

Variation 1: He stands a small distance from the table, facing it. She rests her hands on the table while he grabs her firmly by the hips and lifts her to him. Her legs will rest on his shoulders as he pushes his penis into her vagina. Both partners will need significant arm strength to pull this position off, but she’ll feel like she’s flying in the best way.

Variation 2: He stands a small distance from the table with his back to it. She places the exercise ball a small distance in front of him. She rests her upper back, shoulder blades, and neck on the exercise ball while he holds her hips up to him. Straddling him with her legs, she can place her feet on the table behind him for support. She’s in charge of most of the motion in this position since she can use both the exercise ball and her feet to create a rhythm, but he has to be strong enough to hold her up to keep the fun going.

Variation 3: This is a perfect position for yoga practitioners. He stands up straight while she does a handstand in front of him, ending upside down with her legs wrapped around him at his hips and her groin nestled snug against his. She will need strong arms and a flexible back to stay safely in this almost-bridge position as the two of them have sex. He can help by holding her legs tightly with his arms and placing his hands under her thighs and butt. To get into this position, she can kick into a handstand and he can help her to get situated once she’s upside down.

Variation 4: He sits at an angle in the comfortable chair, with his hips near the edge of the seat and his upper back pressed against the back of the chair. She climbs on top of him with her back facing him, but opposite, so her head is at his feet and her feet rest on his shoulders. Both partners can hold hands for support and to help with movement, while she should rest her head on his feet so as not to injure her neck. He gets a fabulous view of her entire body, from the action all the way to her breasts, and she gets an orgasm-inducing rush of blood to the head.

Chapter 4

Talk Dirty To Me

The first three chapters of this book will have you covered when it comes to exactly how to have sex. But that’s not all you need to have sex. Perhaps the most important part of intercourse is two partners who want to have sex. This is where dirty talk comes into play.

Dirty talk can be good for any sexual relationship, from married couples to hookups. It’s a great way to put some spice back into a relationship that has perhaps stagnated due to physical changes, children, work, busyness, or life in general. It’s also perfect for turning up the heat with someone you’ve just started seeing. But dirty talk can be daunting, especially if you’ve never done it before. The things people say to each other (or think about each other) when they are turned on aren’t things that are generally appropriate to say in public, so it’s unlikely that you have a lot of practice saying them. And, just like any part of sex, what one person likes might not be what another person likes. When it comes to dirty talk, communication is key, both before, during, and after sex.

If you’re brand new to dirty talk, a good way to start is simply to verbalize what you are already thinking or feeling. You’ve probably felt a strong desire for a partner, admired a physical characteristic of a partner, had an orgasm, or enjoyed a sexual act at some point--all without saying anything. Dip your toe into the world of talking dirty by telling your partner how you are feeling and what you are desiring. For the previous examples, you could try saying “I’m getting so turned on,” “You have such an amazing butt, baby,” “I’m getting close,” and “I love what you’re doing to me right now.”

You can talk dirty in person, but you can also make good use of technology. For example, send a suggestive text to your partner as they are finishing up their day at work so they will be excited to come home to you and have some fun. Imagine their surprise when they pick up their phone and, rather than a message asking them to pick up some milk on their way home, they have a text from you saying, “I can’t wait to taste you on my lips.” If you’re feeling really daring, you could even call them up for a little dirty conversation, perhaps asking what color panties they are wearing or telling them how much you’re looking forward to taking off their necktie.

Don’t hesitate to communicate with your partner about dirty talk. A conversation about what each of you prefers or is interested in before any dirty talk starts is a perfect way to avoid any awkward instances in the bedroom where one of you says something that is a definite turn-off for the other person. Some people prefer more clinical terms for their body parts, like “penis” or “vagina,” while others find those terms to be too medical and would rather use “dick,” “cock,” “pussy,” “cunt,” or others. Find out what your partner likes and use their preferred term. The same rule applies for other dirty language. Some people are very uncomfortable with terms like “whore,” “slut,” or “daddy” during sex, while for others this type of dominant and submissive language is a huge turn-on. Others might prefer to come up with their own pet names to use during sex. Talk to your partner, and you won’t find yourself saying “I want to fuck your pussy so hard” to a person who prefers “Honey, I want to make love to you”--or vice versa!

Dirty talk can also play an important part in fantasies and role-play sex. Most people have sexual fantasies, and it’s common for people to develop fantasies that they routinely masturbate to. These fantasies might be scenarios that they would very much like to have happen in reality, or they may not actually be acts that the person would find particularly enjoyable. In either case, dirty talk can help people indulge their partner’s fantasies during sex. For example, if one partner has a rape fantasy, the other could help indulge it by saying things that emphasized the first partner’s lack of control, such as, “I’m going to take you, there’s nothing you can do.” It’s highly unlikely that the first partner would want to be raped in reality, but in a trusting relationship, that fantasy can become a big turn-on through dirty talk. It can be difficult to tell your partner about your fantasies, and some people want to keep theirs private. However, if it’s something you want to share, it can create some great opportunities for steamy sex.

Role-play sex is similarly driven by dirty talk. Partners that are into role-playing may have costumes that fit their roles, but much of the atmosphere is created by the way they communicate. If a couple likes to play the roles of a school teacher and a naughty student, for example, they may dress accordingly, but much of the fun will come from the way the teacher talks to the student. “You’ve been a very bad boy and I’m going to have to punish you,” and other phrases will drive him crazy. Talking dirty can also allow you to indulge in your role-play fantasies when you don’t have costumes available, such as on vacation or when you don’t want to spend money on elaborate setups. There’s no limit to what you can create with words!

Communicating with your partner, figuring out what each of you likes, and starting to use dirty talk will raise the temperature of your relationship and keep you having more reasons to try out those sex positions in the first three chapters!

Chapter 5

Erotic Massage

It’s not uncommon for partners to jump straight from kissing or cuddling into having sex, but they’re missing out. There is a lot more you can do with your partner than simply have intercourse, and extending foreplay can be very sexy and lead to an even hotter sexual experience overall. Erotic massage is a perfect way to get yourself and your partner aroused before sex takes place. And for couples that may not want to or be able to have traditional penetrative sex, erotic massage can serve as a way to keep their sexual connection intact and can lead to very satisfying mutual masturbation.

Erotic massage is different from ordinary massage in that the primary goal is for partners to tease and arouse each other. Some people find any kind of massage to be arousing. If this is the case for you or your partner, that’s great! Try incorporating massage into your sexual activity more often to reap the benefits of this preference. If massage isn’t inherently arousing for you or your partner, however, there are some ways you can take an ordinary massage and make it extraordinary and sexy.

One key of erotic massage is to make good use of all of the body’s sensitive and sensuous spots. The genitals are an obvious erogenous zone, but there are other parts of the body with concentrated nerve endings that can be highly arousing when massaged. Fingers, toes, lips, and nipples are at the top of the list, but each person is different and your partner may have other areas on their body that they like to have massaged. Communicate with each other and do some experimentation to find out what works best for both of you. On the other hand, you or your partner may have areas of your bodies that you do not like to have touched. Make sure you communicate that information as well. Perhaps you feel uncomfortable having your stomach touched or massaged, or perhaps your partner is ticklish and prefers for you to avoid his or her feet. Tickling during an erotic massage is generally a turn-off, and prolonged tickling can actually be painful for the person being tickled. Unless you know your partner likes to be tickled, keep your massage erotic, not silly.

When you are doing an erotic massage for your partner, your hands are the most obvious tool you can use to touch and caress them. Run your hands down their body using long, luxurious strokes, make kneading motions, and touch them gently with your fingertips. Long strokes and light touches can be used almost anywhere on the body. Kneading works best for places with large muscles such as the thighs, butt, and shoulders. If your partner enjoys it, you can also use gentle, firm smacks as part of erotic massage. It’s very common for people to be aroused by smacking, particularly on their butt. This erotic massage technique is also a low-pressure way to incorporate some dominance and submissiveness into your sex play if that is something that interests both you and your partner.

Hands are not the only body part you can use to perform erotic massage. If your hair is long enough, running it over your partner’s body, especially their erogenous areas, can be very stimulating. You can also use your feet, particularly if your partner is aroused by feet or if you find using your feet to perform sexual acts to be pleasurable for you. Women can also use their breasts to caress their partner, while both women and men can touch their partners with their inner thighs, arms, backs, and butts. When giving your partner an erotic massage, position yourself so your groin is coming into contact with their skin. The feel of your pubic area against your partner can be very arousing for both of you. To mix things up, try incorporating sensual materials like silk, velvet, fur, feathers, or rubber into your erotic massage.

In addition to your hands, other body parts, and sensual materials, your mouth is the perfect tool for performing an erotic massage. Kissing, with or without tongue, and performing oral sex are both well-known ways to stimulate a partner, but the mouth can be used all over a partner’s body to produce highly erotic effects. Concentrate not simply on the genital area, but also on the other nerve-rich areas of the body like the fingers, toes, and nipples. Massage these areas with your tongue or kiss them very erotically. You can also lick your partner all over, nibble their skin (gently, and make sure they like this first), or run your mouth softly and gently over their body.

As erotic massage moves closer to mutual masturbation or penetrative sex, you and your partner will want to concentrate more closely on the genitals. If you are massaging a man, focus on his penis. Don’t just massage the tip and the shaft, but also work towards the root of the penis and the area between his legs that stretches from the base of the penis towards his anus. You can also massage his thighs and buttocks and, if he wants, incorporate some anal massage. Gently take one or both testicles in your hand or mouth and massage them. Make sure you don’t bite or squeeze too hard. If you would like to continue with oral sex, this is the perfect transition point to take his penis in your mouth.

If you are massaging a woman, try starting with her on her stomach. Massage her butt and, if she likes it, run a finger between her butt cheeks and massage the area around her anus. Slide your fingers further between her legs and massage the area between her anus and her vagina. Then, turn her so she is lying on her back. Massage her groin and inner thighs, working towards her pubic area. Pull gently at the outer lips of her vulva, working towards her vagina, then stroke and tease the opening to her vagina. If you want to bring her to orgasm with your hands, move back and forth between the clitoris and the vaginal opening, stimulating them both. This is also a good transition point if you would like to perform oral sex.

Erotic massage doesn’t always have to lead to penetrative sex or even oral sex. If, for medical or other reasons, you or your partner can’t have sex, or if it’s just been a long, busy day and you’re too tired to go all the way, erotic massage is the perfect way to maintain your sexual connection. In addition, it’s a good way to prolong foreplay and create higher levels of arousal, which can be particularly important for women before having penetrative sex. If you and your partner are looking to try something new in the bedroom, give erotic massage a try and figure out what works best for you!

Chapter 6

Using Props During Sex

Some of the sex positions in chapters 1, 2, and 3 used simple props like a chair, table, or exercise ball for stability. These are easy ways to incorporate some props into sex, but there are many, many others. The ideas in this chapter are just suggestions to start with. Feel free to experiment with your partner and find out what excites you both!

Props to Set the Mood

One very easy way to use props during sex is to use them to set the mood. A bedroom that is sensually decorated is a perfect reminder to you and your partner to save a little time for yourselves, and you can also use special decorations for times when you want to surprise your partner or have a particularly memorable evening. There are many different ways to use props to create the sexual atmosphere that you and your partner desire. Candles, in particular, are a nice way to turn an ordinary bedroom into a sexy boudoir. Scented candles can make the room smell wonderful, while the low lighting invites sexual advances. For those with a sense of humor, there are also fun, phallic candles that can be found online or at your local sex shop. Decorate to set the mood that you want to create!

Vibrators and Dildos

Many people may think that vibrators and dildos are for masturbation and not useful while having sex with a partner, but these toys can actually be a fun addition to a couple’s sex life. Vibrators can be added in as a couple has penetrative sex, particularly in positions where the woman is able to stimulate her own clitoris. Many women have trouble achieving an orgasm with penetrative vaginal stimulation alone, so using a vibrator while having sex can help to ensure that she has just as much fun as he does. He can also use a vibrator on her as they have sex. Try using a vibrator during some of the positions in chapters 1, 2, and 3 of this book, such as Ride ‘Em, Ladies and Puppy Love (Easy), All About Legs, Take a Ride in Reverse, and Keeping it Erect (Intermediate), and Come From Behind (Advanced).

Vibrators and dildos can also be a great addition to mutual masturbation. Some men find it difficult to provide intense enough stimulation to the clitoris with their fingers to bring a woman to orgasm. A vibrator can help in these situations. In addition, some women like the feeling of their vaginal opening being stretched very wide, even wider than most men’s penises can physically get. Men shouldn’t be offended by this, but rather treat it as an opportunity to use a dildo and get the woman very turned on before having penetrative sex. Some women like the feel of a dildo when it is inserted and does not move, while others like an in-and-out movement more similar to sex. Communication is key for unlocking the possibilities of vibrators and dildos!

Using Food as a Prop

Food is one of the best classic erotic props due to its availability and the endless possibilities that come with incorporating it into sex. It might be a little daunting to walk into a sex shop and purchase a vibrator, but it’s not in the least difficult to go to your local grocery store and buy some whipping cream. If you and your partner are looking to mix up your sex life without getting too daring, using food as a prop is a perfect place to start.

One of the easiest ways to use food as a prop is to incorporate it into erotic massage and foreplay. Try covering your partner’s body or sensitive areas with a creamy or spreadable food and then licking them all over until they are clean. You can use whatever food you prefer, but some easily used foods are whipping cream, chocolate syrup, marshmallow creme, peanut or almond butter, chocolate hazelnut spread, jams or jellies, and frosting. You might want to put down a towel beforehand or plan to change the sheets afterward!

Ice is one of the most flexible foods when it comes to sex. To avoid the uncomfortable sticking sensation of very cold ice on the skin, use “warm ice,” which has been out of the freezer 10-20 minutes and is starting to melt. You can run ice cubes up and down your partner’s body, concentrating on their erogenous zones. You can also put ice cubes in your mouth and then put your mouth on your partner’s body, even during oral sex. This can produce very different and exciting sensations. It’s also possible to insert ice cubes into a female partner’s vagina. Just make sure to use warm ice when you do this since very cold ice can have sharp edges that can be painful.

Another way to incorporate food into sex is to feed one another. It’s highly dubious that any foods (oysters, dark chocolate, ginger, or otherwise) actually affect libido, but some people are turned on by feeding a partner or by getting fed by a partner. The easiest way to try this is to start with easy-t0-eat foods in bite size pieces. Pieces of fruit, small chocolates, or nuts are a good place to start. Eating or feeding your partner too much of a heavy food may make you or them less willing to have sex since they may start to feel unwell, so be careful. Otherwise, find out what you and your partner like, and have fun!

One important consideration when using food as a prop during sex is to not insert any food into the vagina that may get stuck there. People certainly have used particular kinds of vegetables as dildos, but it’s a lot safer just to go and buy a sex toy. A dildo made to be inserted into the vagina is unlikely to break off and get stuck there, unlike a carrot, for example. Vegetables are also organic matter and can carry bacteria that is not good for the vagina. The same is true for candies, which have the added problem of being very sugary. This sugar attracts unhealthy bacteria, which can lead to infections. In general, if you and your partner would like to insert an object other than a penis into the vagina, use a dildo, a vibrator, or ice, since it will simply melt into water rather than getting stuck.

Other Sex Toys

There is a huge variety of other sex toys that you and your partner can incorporate into your sex lives. Many of these toys can be found at a sex shop or online. A sex shop may be embarrassing to visit, but rest assured that there is nothing shameful about enjoying sex and using toys. By going to a sex shop, you can get a better idea of what a toy looks like and if it is good quality or not. Going online can be less stressful, but you run the risk of ending up with a poor-quality toy. When it comes to sex toys, it’s always better to spend a little extra money to get a quality item. You don’t want yourself or your partner to get hurt using a cheap toy.

Many sex toys are bondage-type toys that can heighten the excitement for couples, especially those who enjoy dominant/submissive sex play. Blindfolding your partner, handcuffing them, or tying them to the bedposts are all ways to incorporate this type of toy. You can find special blindfolds, handcuffs, and ropes for use during sex, which is a good idea because everyday versions of these items are not always well-suited for sex play.

Other sex toys are meant to add to the sensation produced by the penis during penetrative sex. The simplest of these toys are specialty condoms, which can usually be purchased at drugstores. These condoms have extra ridges, bumps, or textures, which can be fun for women. More specialized toys include penis extenders, some of which also include extra bumps and ridges, and strap-ons, which allow for a woman to penetrate a man anally. If you and your partner are interested in some of these more elaborate toys, it could be fun and sexy to visit a sex shop together and pick out a toy to use together. You’ll both be looking forward to getting home to try it out!

A final consideration for all sex toys: make sure you are cleaning them well and not sharing them with others! Sex toys, especially those that penetrate the body, should be personalized. Sharing these toys could transmit infections, particularly STI’s, so be careful, keep your toys clean, and stay safe!

Conclusion

Sex is an important part of life and crucial for being in a fulfilling relationship. Whether you have a great sex life and just want to keep experimenting, or you’re just starting to explore what makes you and your partner feel good, I hope this book has been a useful resource for you. Don’t forget that this book is only a start. By opening up communication with your partner about sex, you can both continue to explore and grow sexually, figuring out how to have the most satisfying sexual relationship possible. Sex is for everyone, from flexible yogis to couch potatoes, so wink at your partner, shimmy out of your clothes, and start having fun!

If you enjoyed this book and found it useful, a review on Amazon is always appreciated.

About The Author

Charlotte Angeline Rose is a passionate wordsmith and entertainer. She is on a mission to help people add spice and sparkle to their otherwise banal love lives through her writing.

Hailing from sunny Los Angeles, California, Rose earned undergraduate and graduate degrees in Sociology and Psychology while taking creative adult jobs on the side in order to help finance her educational pursuits.

A sexually fluid, open-minded, long-time lover of all things sensual and exciting, Rose is now ready to share her intimate knowledge of human sexuality, psychology and interpersonal relationships with the world through her ongoing series of books, first introduced to the general public in February of 2016.